To just stop offering DD breakfast and lunch?

[turkishdeelitee]

Because she literally never eats breakfast, just point blank refuses. Also refuses lunch for five out of seven days a week. She does eat an OK dinner if it’s something she likes. I’m fed up and worried. She’s nearly 3.

If it’s processed ham you are worried about how about buying a good quality ham/gammon from the butcher and cooking it in the oven yourself and slicing it thinly? I used to sometimes mix a bit of cooked gammon chopped thinly into pasta with cream cheese as something both my kids would eat!

I’ve remembered another friend had this with her DS. One day I visited and he went to the child minder and ate nothing but olives and bottles of milk! He’s now a healthy 9 year old.

Just keep offering a variety at breakfast and lunch. Running around at pre school may make her hungrier. And if she’s got things she likes, eg ham, roast chicken and chilli, I’d offer at least one of those every day, alongside milk, water and fruit, so she always gets at least one decent meal of things she likes.

@turkishdeelitee If your daughter is mainly eating quite salty foods that may be making her quite thirsty, and she may then be filling up on drinks / liquids (which is blunting her appetite later on for other solids). It may be helpful for you to keep track of exactly (solids and liquids) what is passing her lips each day (and over the course of a week) to see.

The milk she has after dinner, is that a large amount, is it full fat? Does she have milk overnight? Or first thing in the morning? Do you still breast feed? Might be worth working out exactly how much calorific content she is getting from milk or other drinks. (Eg does she have juice or smoothies at all, as that can be quite energy dense).

Can you try using incentives - like a sticker chart? Can you try introducing her (in a basic / age appropriate way) to food groups, and maybe make a laminated chart (of a plate) that she can stick on the different food groups when she has them, either during a day or during a meal? Other approaches include trying not to worry about the composition of different meals, but to keep track of what they are eating over the day or the week, to see if it balances out and they are getting enough energy.

Part of it may be about control - the eating of ham and insisting on more, but re du sing to eat other things. I have been in this situation before with dc - we have definitely tried to ‘gamify’ it a bit, so the get a small portion of their desired food, alongside some very small portions of maybe a couple of other types of food, and they can ‘earn’ some more of the favourite one by eating (or even just trying, one or maybe two - or three) the other things.

One thing I tried was keeping a visual chart of foods / meals that were liked - so if my dc was eating a meal or type of food that they liked, then I would take a photo of them sitting with the plate and smiling and showing a thumbs up, so if at a later date they say they don’t like it, you can show them the visual chart with all the photos of them doing thumbs up for all the food types.

Can you dress up mealtimes a bit and make them more fun, and get her to join in? Could you use finger foods to make a face on a plate, and she could choose what to put on there?

A final thought - if you daughter seems most keen on salty foods, (crisps and ham), can you try and find other foods that might give her a ‘salty’ hit - might she like small squares of toast and marmite? Or other things that are naturally salty? Maybe make popcorn with her (that is very exciting to watch, the corn popping in the pan!), then you could add a very controlled pinch of salt to it (much healthier than crisps).

Or try different type of crisps (like hand-cooked veg crisps), so that you can say to her - ‘ooh, this one is sweet potato, do you like that?’ And then get her to try sweet potato in some different ways (not just as crisps). And reward her (sticker chart or something else) when she does try new foods.

What have your GP/HV said about this? My friends's DD would only eat a handful of things, now being assessed for ASD and professionals said it didn't matter if she ate coco pops 3 times a day as long as she ate something.

If you are worried about UPF, you can buy ham joints directly from your local butcher and cook them yourself, it isn't difficult. You can boil or bake ham joints.

It tastes much better than the supermarket stuff as well.

I worked with a man, 23 who never ate a thing until 7pm, only drank water. I wouldn't worry.

When my two eldest children were little, they went through the same thing. I stopped offering them food until about 4pm, by which time they were hungry and always ate a good dinner. After about a week I just started offering breakfast and by three weeks they were back to eating 3 times a day. I think it stopped us getting into a power play situation. Also in those days snacks were not a thing.

You can’t do that 😊

Try different food with her.

That isn’t 24 hours though. I do agree with @FlyingApple that there’s a lot of stuff made up on the thread.

I don’t think she’s got ARFID or autism or anything extreme. Just a bog standard fussy annoying toddler but she does take it to extremes.

Is her father around?

You've said yourself that she sometimes goes overnight and until dinner with no food. Do you live in a universe where the hours work differently or something?

Just want to add Some days eats well and other days won’t touch anything. My DD is like this (other DC isn't) and still is at 14. It makes meal planning a real pain!
She also eats the contents of a sandwich and leaves the bread, 80% of the time eats the pasta sauce but leaves the pasta. Next time will eat two bowls We ended up in a phase where we would cook a joint of meat (beef, gammon, whatever) and she would have some of it for breakfast. She also still rarely eats "breakfast" foods for breakfast - but if there's left over pasta or couscous salad in the fridge she'll happily eat two or three portions. Overnight oats or olives in yoghurt are ok. Sometimes she'll only eat a tomato.

She might do wheb she sees other kids eating theirs
I remember my 19 year old going through this ,he would eat plain bread and cheese slices and that was it
Things improved when he started nursery
But he remained quite picky as a child
He will eat anything now!

So you'd rather your kid starve than eat?

If it is IS ARFID (not afrid) then the first rule is feed them what they eat, because food/calories IN is more important than a healthy diet. My DS is 19yo and i've been dealing with this since he was 11mo and self weaned off milk.

Trust me on this.. you're going to have to get over this 'healthy eating' idea very quickly if it IS ARFID. You feed what they'll eat and support with a multivitamin.

How does your son eat now?

has she had a blood test? My son developed anaemia and his food intake and variety used to narrow and shrink the more anaemic he got, until all he would eat was plain toast.

how are her energy levels.

That said another friend of my daughters would only eat potatoes, cheese and apples from ages 3-11, hewr father apparently was the same as a child, although they now eat a whole range of things.

No. You shouldn't stop offering food to your 2 year old...!

Just pick things that can safely go back in the fridge for another time.

Really well usually so there is hope!

I wouldn’t stop offering it.

A 3yo not eating for 24 hours is something I would be concerned about but it may just be how she is.

I would just offer picky bits - cut up toast, fruit, veg, cheese, meat, yoghurt etc.

Obviously you can’t force her to eat but I’d sit her next to you whilst you eat yours and encourage her to try bits but not put pressure on her.

You can get fun cutters that might help.

And when did he improve?

And is her father around?? Can he take over food for a bit?

I had one very fussy eater and it is very stressful. I think you will already know all the advice about safe foods and no thank you bowls etc.

A possible addition is making it into a game. With my daughter I would say (to the room at large) "this piece [holding up food on my fork] is my piece. It's really delicious and I'm going to gobble it up. Nobody else is allowed this piece..." etc, and while I was talking she would lean over and bite it/eat it. I would act up the surprise, where's it gone, oh my word it's disappeared! etc. Get your DH or another child to "play" first to show her how it works and see if she will join in.

Singing songs like ten green bottles - "three chunks of carrot sitting on Molly's tray, three chunks of carrot sitting on Molly's tray, and if one chunk of carrot magically goes away [child eats it], there'll be two chunks of carrot..."

I also bought some small sets of kitchen tongs and she found it hilarious to eat with those!

Do you know about chaining? So if she will eat ham, maybe she will eat e.g. a ham pizza, some of those little egg bites with ham in, or maybe sliced turkey or similar (call it white ham 🤣)

Good luck!!

Ignorant?
You claim your three year old kid eats literally nothing, you don't offer snacks etc and the poster is ignorant?
I don't know how your daughter does it, either, but that statement on its own is not good enough.

Would she drink a milkshake for breakfast? Milk whizzed up with banana? peanut butter?

So give her more ham? At this stage is be giving her whatever she wanted.

The less she eats the harder it is going to be to get her to eat more.

Consistently eating less causes the brain to feel satisfied with smaller portions, essentially resetting her appetite.

You need to really encourage and incentivise her to eat regularly.

Will she accept a sandwich for lunch and cereal for breakfast? She might just want something simple and plain. If she’s refusing everything and only eats one meal a day then see a dietician.

You weren't rude op.

I don't have much advice but my niece is exactly the same. The health visitor told my sister not to stress but just keep offering different foods and not to have a reaction if thry don't eat anything.