AIBU to feel uneasy about MIL wanting one-to-one time with baby?

[Mamibaba]

I only saw MIL twice in the three years before baby was born even though we live in the same town. Didn’t see her whilst pregnant but she expects to now have access to baby and one to one time. Is it right that I don’t feel comfortable with that as I don’t feel I know her wel enough.

As a new Nan I cannot imagine why I would ever want my grandson one on one. There is no need at all for that. I have looked after him a couple of times for a short time, while mum has gone to the dentist and a funeral, but mostly I see him with mum, and don't expect to have him on my own for more than for short times for appointments etc for a long time. I do see him with my daughter and that is fine. There's no reason to have one on one time for no reason

perhaps I'd agree with you once the child is Older, but with a newborn/infant/ toddler, there's a high level of supervision needed.....how sad, and what an awful marriage/relationship it'd be if a father Insisted on an unsupervised visit of vulnerable child totally against the trepidation of the mother ...meaning Zero respect for his partner, "50% ownership" is crap excuse when it comes to precious little beings.....btw I'm a new grandmom myself now, I also don't Need alone time....If I'm needed of course I'll step up, but after a life raising all my own kids, visits without full responsibility are perfectly nice!

Why is it his fsult?

We don't know what OP's DH thinks but we do know that he went to live with a relative when he was a child and doesn't have a relationship with his mum.

OP has been very kind to her MIL by visiting with the baby but obviously wouldn't be comfortable leaving her baby alone with a woman who doesn't have a relationship with her own son.

So she is a shit parent who missed out. He owes her nothing and if either of them think a repeat is on the cards, then yes you absolutely should be saying no.

The idea of demanding one to one time with grandchild is off in the first place. It's inappropriate.

Totally with you, OP.

I don't get why anyone except the parents would want to be alone with a baby. and parents in law, or anyone else really, has no right to expect it.

I have 2 lovely grown-up children whom I love unreservedly, and I always did. But I hated the baby stage - I was terrified of babies and thought they would die if I took my eye off the ball. Why anyone would want to be alone with a baby, let alone someone else's is utterly beyond me!!

My response to someone asking to be alone with my baby would be 'Why?' What are you planning to do that you can't do with me there???

It's just a weird thing to want.