To have expected DH to say no to stag do t-shirt?

[Kellybloom]

DH is on a stag this weekend, many of them going are younger. I’ve seen a photo of the personalised tops for their travel out and I find it really disgusting/offensive. I messaged him to say I would have expected him not to wear it and he said he didn’t really have choice.

AIBU to think a grown man should speak up and not care what the crowd thinks?

Not something I could get worked up about, its a stag do, they wore t shirts.

I think its better than the one penis forever t shirts, or penis straws or whatever other penis related garbage ladies wear on hen do's!

Well it might be "fun" for the morally bereft participants. But it sure as hell isn't "fun" for any one else.

Oh unclench

It’s a terrible t shirt. I don’t care about references to drink/drugs/sex - it’s kind of expected. But ‘slags’? In this day and age? Meme or not, it’s a bit shit. In saying that, it’s up to him whether or not he wears it, but I would think less of my partner if he did. Thankfully DP would be cringing from the inside out and I am absolutely certain his views on something like this would win out over his (very annoying) people pleaser tendencies.

I think the t-shirt sounds pretty tame (even without the meme connection), and I generally try to stay away from policing what other people wear. It comes over a bit controlling, to be honest.

It’s because it rhymes

I’ve certainly never heard of it, though to be fair, I’ve not lived in England for donkey’s years. I’ve no idea what it means but it seems somehow obscene.

Isn't this why it's a 'stag' do? I've seen grosser things at hen do's.

I don't see the point in either of the things but I thought being gross and inappropriate, as a night out, was the whole point.

As a feminist, I have never bought into the idea of stag or hen dos full stop. Before my husband and I married we had a get-together with all of our friends - man or woman entirely irrelevant.

I don't think anyone suggesting that it should be illegal to wear the t-shirt.

However it's entirely reasonable for the OP not to want to be with a mysogynistic simpleton, who's very possibly 'getting the bags/slags in' - spending family money on coke and prostitutes.

Yes, suggesting some women raise their standards is a MN cliche. It's that case for a reason.

And yes, I'd expect my partner to say 'I'm not fucking wearing that' and come home if necessary.

You're not supposed to find that funny. The joke is the meme. And she didn't say she found it funny, she said she took it in the manner in which it was intended, a joke.

'Get the badge in' is a phrase used to take the piss out of people who wear Stone Island gear and go to great lengths to rotate their arms in photos so everyone can see the Stoney badge. A social media creator added the other two lines; a reference to the caricature of the obnoxious Saturday football/beer/banter lads who think they're extras in Football Factory. It's supposed to be crass and make you roll your eyes. The internet gave it legs, now it's used as a reference to going out with the lads and naturally, the people it was originally mocking have adopted it.

Not everyone has to see the funny side. But someone wearing a joke t-shirt on a stag or hen doesn't mean they endorse what's written on it or find it funny. Jokes aren't supposed to be taken seriously, and sometimes they're shit.

I saw a woman who looked about 90 with a Hen group wearing 'Slags on Tour' tops last year. Also crass, also clearly not to be taken seriously. .

To be honest, it’s not great and I would not like it, but the way some UK women dress abroad on holiday is equally as offensive.
You can spot them a mile away.

However it's entirely reasonable for the OP not to want to be with a mysogynistic simpleton, who's very possibly 'getting the bags/slags in' - spending family money on coke and prostitutes.

You seriously think wearing a T-shirt that's been given to him for the night, with a joke/meme popular with young people, that started specifically to poke fun at that sort of person, means OP's husband is a misogynist and "very possibly 'getting the bags/slags in' - spending family money on coke and prostitutes"?

You genuinely believe that's the most likely scenario? And not that it might just be a shit joke on a stag T-shirt that'll be in the bin by morning?

Do you feel that way about all jokes, or just the ones that offend you? I saw a little old lady with a Hen group wearing 'Slags on Tour' tops recently. Do you think she was making a misogynistic statement, or very possibly a slag? Or just wearing the same daft top as everyone else?

It's a t-shirt for a stag party, not something he'll ever wear again. People are so upright you can't joke about anything anymore.
If that's the worst thing that happens it's pretty tame.
He could have said I'm not wearing that t-shirt but he'd look like an absolute twat and just because his wife doesn't like it doesn't mean he can't wear it. He's wearing it while hanging out with his mates, not her.

Disgraceful. Eurrghhh

YOU find it offensive and want him not to wear it.
Why would he "speak up" if he's ok with wearing one with everyone else?
You're speaking for him there, he presumably has his own opinion.

What does get the badge in and bag in mean

You are topical OP

Just seen this:

https://www.instagram.com/p/DX3qFwskUTt/?img_index=8&igsh=ZXllNHp3YWExNmM2

If peer pressure was that he should give a blow job to another man would he have had trouble saying no?!