To have expected DH to say no to stag do t-shirt?

[Kellybloom]

DH is on a stag this weekend, many of them going are younger. I’ve seen a photo of the personalised tops for their travel out and I find it really disgusting/offensive. I messaged him to say I would have expected him not to wear it and he said he didn’t really have choice.

AIBU to think a grown man should speak up and not care what the crowd thinks?

He is an adult and has a choice. This whole "I don't have a choice" is laughable. What else is he not going to have a choice over? There was a thread the other day about someone's fiance getting a ribbon out of a stripper's vagina with his teeth. Apparently, he also didn't have a choice...

How lovely for every woman that encounters them wearing that 🤢

They could have been funny without being demeaning

This is how we will never achieve parity ...seriously threats to women are on the rise...anti abortion, anti women in workplace as political policy ...never pretend this isnt where it begins ...grim and not without wider impact

It’s a stag do.
In my opinion its not funny. Not to mention not original.
I’ve seen plenty of hen dos with similar.
Let it go.
And don’t have him telling his friends his wife won’t let him wear it.
But check his teeth for ribbon shreds later,,,,

Yes it sounds revolting but I also would not text or say to a grown adult 'expected'

Same as if I went to a hen do I would not tolerate my husband 'expecting' anything of me i can think for myself

Yeah it’s juvenile, misogynistic, embarrassing and I would take one look at them as a member of the public and internally eye roll and the lack of originality. But would I end my marriage over a t shirt? No. He’s on a stag do, it’s probably been presented to him and he doesn’t want to come out and say ‘my wife wouldn’t like me wearing that’.

Although I’m sure the usual suspects will be along shortly to tell you that if you dont divorce him immediately then your standards are in the gutter and you ought to ‘raise your bar’.

It's a t shirt, which he will never wear, it really is just a bit of fun no matter what we women may not consider as distasteful. I wouldn't give a second thought about it unless it was a tattoo!

At least it's not one of those Farage ones? (as per that thread the other day) ;)

@falaffersl I'm an avid feminist and there is absolutely no way on this earth my husband would be going out in any t-shirt that referred to women as "slags." Not that my husband would ever want to as he is not 12.
Not funny.
Disrespectful.

Gen X, low tolerance for political correctness and a filthy sense of humour.

This sounds (and looks from the TikTok link) absolutely grim.

On the upside at least the women wherever they are will be forewarned...

has anyone posted this yet @Kellybloom

YABU as you've not told us what's on the t shirt 🤷‍♀️

He didn’t have a choice? He’s a grown man, or meant to be, so of course he could have said no.

The company you keep says a lot about a person. His friends think this kind of laddish type rubbish is funny, and they’re his friends so….

@FreddysFingers she said earlier;

But it basically says:
Get the badge in
Get the bag in
Get the slags in
With a photo of an older woman’s face

How could a man you’d want to spend time with NOT find it offensive?

I would start to worry that my DH’s friends and also my DH were absolute arseholes. Crude and misogynistic arseholes. Probably there will have been many signs of this already.

Massive overthinking here. Do you really think anyone will notice anything other than a bunch of pissed farts in stupid t-shirts that mean exactly nothing?

Do you really expect him to refuse to wear something that you find offensive when he’s on a stag do? If he found it offensive then fine but he’s going to look a total knob if he says ‘sorry chaps, I can’t wear that because my wife might find it offensive’

Think it's fairly tame as stag do T shirts go. Tbh I think you're upset he's on a stag do at all. Which I do understand as what goes on at many of them is not something I would want my husband involved in. However, if he's chosen to go on a stag (where to?) with a bunch of younger people, that's probably where your issue originated. The T shirt is your only visible link to what kind of stag do it is.

yep, i can’t imagine that would go down well in a group of drunk men! :D

This is a good point - it'll work like strong body odour... or you'd hope so...

If one of us was at a hen event and someone handed one of us a shirt and we said 'i cant wear it because my male partner wouldnt want me to' everyone would tell her not to be ridiculous dont let him tell you what to do

I don’t think we need the detailed google breakdown, it’s very obvious what the shirt is about 🤦‍♀️

Ffs

Did you ask him if he wanted to wear it or had a problem with it or did you just tell him what you thought?