AIBU to be baffled a mum had no idea the school fayre was happening?

[xAwaywiththefairiesx]

Today my daughter's primary school had a spring fayre after school on the school field. Ice cream van, face-painting, various stalls with games, the usual. All arranged by the PTA to raise money for the school.
There was a mufti day today, and the children were asked to bring a donation to the school as an exchange for the mufti, something like cakes to sell or a teddy for the tombola or a bottle of wine as a prize or something.
One mum wanders onto the field after school, with both of her kids in mufti, looking around bewildered saying "What's this? Is this a new thing they're doing? Will it be every week?"

And this is so weird to me because the spring fayre has been organised for months. We have lots of emails asking for donations, several more asking for volunteers, we've had at least three leaflets home about it, and she obviously got the memo about mufti, the whole point in which was for the school fayre!

My phone own child has been banging on about it for three weeks.

How can she get so unaware? I'm not judging, honestly, I'm just baffled how it got past her.

Is it just me? Could you miss something like this after all that communication?

I am baffled that you are baffled. There’s a whole range of reasons why she might not have realised.

My 3 called it Own-Clothes-Day. 'Mufti' would have caused a lot of sniggering round here. And once or twice I forgot and sent them in school uniform (in the same way that I now and then forgot inset days, which seemed to be very frequent). School Fayre PTA drove me mad one year with their demands for cakes, stall holders, face painters and the like when I was working full time plus 2 evening shifts a week. I remember offering a cash donation but they said it wasn't in the spirit of the thing.

“It's always been called mufti by every school I attended as a child, every school my kids have been to, and every school I know. My nieces and nephews and friends children all call it mufti day at their schools, and it's called that on all the school letters and literature. I thought it's what everyone said.”

“Because her kids were literally in mufti. But she was walking around the field like she'd just been beamed into space”

“Lol clearer plain English.
Literally everyone says mufti here. Everyone. I've never said "the kids have a mufti day" and seen confusion on anyone's face. Even on new kids/parents. And yes, I'm UK.
"Non uniform day" is such a weird, boring and clunky way to say it 😂🤪”

All the above, your first few posts No explanation of what ‘mufti’ means.
And you carried on talking as if you assumed we all knew what you were talking about! And even said that calling it non uniform day is weird and boring when a lot of us have only ever known it as “non uniform day”. Never would I have thought people would think we were weird for calling it the obvious. How are we supposed to go along with your “joke” if you don’t explain what you mean??

I grew up in a ‘non School uniform day’ area (Basingstoke) and moved to a ‘mufti day’ area (Wiltshire)
First time we had the comms from school about it I had to ask DH what mufti meant! It must be very localised slang, as I only moved 60 miles.

😂😂 haha I love that lol it is over whelming with so may emails from various different things. My kids tell me about things and I have to check my emails incase I missed something and I have a couple of times! One being non uniform day! It happens, everyone has such busy lives with kids whether they work or not. Like you, I would never kick off with the school! You wouldn't believe the abuse I have got through things like this! 🤯

Regardless of what you call it, why is a non uniform/mufti day a good thing if school uniform is a good thing?

@DenizenOfAisleOfShamenone of this makes sense I’m afraid as I explained what its origins were upthread.

I’ll leave you to your outdated imperialist vocab.

I do wonder. I spend a considerable amount of money on school uniforms per child every year and it’s rather annoying when half the school year they’re not wearing those uniforms and I’m then expected to spend even more money on buying costumes and specific coloured clothing for special celebration days and events.

Yet on the days they DO wear uniform, if you dare to send them in something that isn’t their “correct uniform” you get chastised and a message sent to all parents to remind you of their ‘uniform policy’.

There were at least two comments explaining what "mufti" means before I made the first comment you just posted. So I didn't need to explain. It has already been very helpfully explained by that point.

But people were asking YOU what it meant.

Do you know, I do agree. I'm not actually a fan of mufti days! I always get outvoted though because the rest of the PTA agree that it's a thing we can do for the kids in return for donations that doesn't involve the parents having to spend money on a special outfit a la world book day (which the school organise, not the PTA).

In New Zealand it’s always been called a “mufti day” - maybe it’s outdated but it’s still used in schools etc.

Maybe you should refer them to this thread and multiple other threads on MN where parents are absolutely sick and tired and at the end of their tether with the expectation to spend money and find time sourcing specific outfits multiple times a year and rinse and repeat for each child every single year for the first 7 years of their school lives and the pressure put on parents to make sure their kid isn’t the only kid going dressed in uniform.

Why do I need to answer questions already answered? It has been explained many, many times. People can easily see what it means. You are just clutching at straws now and trying to make me out to be the bad guy because I didn't offer each person that asked their own personal explanation which is just a bit silly.

Edit: this was supposed to be quoting the comments were you said "people were asking what YOU meant".

I think you might have read my comment wrong

Yes I realise that. I misread your comment. But my original comment still stands about having to spend money on uniforms when half the school year they’re not in those uniforms so maybe direct those people who outvote you anyway

Ok, I'll take the feedback on board, thank you.

There are thousands of reasons people might miss school communications. Older parents (including dementia) taking up lots of time, difficult domestic relationships making it impossible to think straight, ill health, poor literacy, just being an overwhelmed and disorganised person, trying to finish a phd while working, debt consuming thoughts, having communication difficulties, being depressed…I could go on all night.

I think we all need to just be generous to each other when possible. Including when calling school admin! (Or when they call you for a missing consent form.) 😁

I am very generous and more than happy to help anyone and fully understand the reasons why people may miss communications. I dont have a go or kick off with them for calling because they missed a consent form or when they come into the office saying the same. Its them who come in and have a go at me for them missing the information.

I’m sure you are. 😁 I meant general ‘we’. Parents to other parents, parents to admin, parents to kids, admin to parents.

I can easily believe it. The way some parents treat school staff honestly disgusts me.

I swear down if all of the pushy texts from Primary charity Moms would've come with a 'Or give us 50 quid and we'll leave you alone for the rest of the year' option, I would have taken it from reception right through to year 7!

I would've paid double to avoid 8000 feckin bake sales!

But that would only work if all parents felt the same as you

Honestly, I’ve forgotten several times. I’m a solo mum, 2 children a full time job, long hours stressful job. Do school drop offs/pick ups, work after work , run a house & the mental loaf of everything. With zero support.

every sodding week it’s a pound for this a bottle for that, dress as a scientist, pj day, odd sock day, Easter display, the list is NEVER ending. The school app is shocking. The updates in the app with events arrive 10-15 at a time. Peppered between lost coats & ‘things you might like’
i would love to attend (or even have the mental space) forevery single thing, but it is impossible.

None uniform. It is military slang!