To quit my job with nothing lined up

[Vinividivici]

I have been miserable in my job for a long time. It has impacted my physical and mental health. I am now fully burnt out and on sick leave (and I have other threads on this!).

AIBU to resign with nothing new lined up, with a possible plan to take a career break?

We would be able to pay our bills, though we would have to tighten our belts. But I could spend more time with my child and relieve a lot of daily household stress so that my husband and I can get regular exercise and more sleep. We are mid 40s and I am beginning to worry that our current lifestyle will lead us to be very stressed and unhealthy into old age.

Legal secretaries are practically extinct. They are going the way of the typing pool. Basic clerical and admin jobs are the most vulnerable to AI. Younger lawyers are increasingly au fait with technology and send less and less work out to the secretaries.

I’ve done this a few times but we always had enough money.
In my 20s to go travelling (before DC came). I did have some freelance work lined up though.
Latterly I did it after the first lockdown as I realised I really couldn’t go back after wfh for 5 months. I had no job, but I found some freelance work again and about 10 months later I went back to a regular role.

I’m saying this with kindness but If you are currently off work and struggling to find the energy to even look for alternative employment I would suggest now is not the time to be making the decision to leave with no job to go to. Have you told your therapist you are considering this? The job market is brutal atm and even though you don’t want to hear this getting another job whilst correctly employed is actually easier.

Yes, I have considered that I should not be making any critical decisions right now. But rn the idea of going back to my horrible, bullying workplace is more than I can bear as well.

If it's really detrimental to your mental health. Leave. But you do have rights here if you have the energy to use them (and I know how it feels to not have that).

If you do want to try, do use any union you're a part of or a friendly colleague to support in meetings. Also recognise that while HR and OH are there to protect the company, they will also recognise that you have a condition which is likely to be deemed a disability which then means they have to tread very carefully. As a result it can sometimes feel like boxes are being ticked but also (strangely) OH particularly can become an ally, especially in recommending adjustments which are supportive.

But if it's too much, go.

Don't go! But please consider what you can do self-employed. It's very liberating and can be surprisingly profitable.

If you’re planning to leave work and have your DH support the family then that is not unreasonable provided you’re both on board with that, do what works for you if you can afford it. It would be unreasonable to leave your job and claim benefits (but it doesn’t sound like that’s what you’re planning)

It sounds like a toxic place and I don’t blame you BUT you need to sit down with your dh and discuss this thoroughly. All the hard questions, all the worst case scenarios, everything. Once you’re out of work, it sounds very likely that you won’t return based on what you’ve said. And it’s a brutal job market. All these ‘easy’ jobs suggested also comes with a lot of stress with minimum wages.
one person carrying the financial load also can lead to other problems, you need to discuss that too. Ins and outs of your financial situation, bills, emergencies. Could you manage or what provisions are there if your dh lost his job or something happened. ALL the scenarios. research the career you’re in and find out how quickly or long it would take for you to find a job.
Do all of that and then decide.

This is good advice.

I don't really want to be out of work forever, but I am tired of being treated like I am worthless and nothing while my abilities are taken for granted or taken advantage of. It seems like something about me signals that I am open to be exploited.

Alternatively, maybe I really am worthless and a terrible lawyer and that is why I keep being held down. Idk. It's so depressing and hopeless

Ok, I've thought about saying this a few times. And I don't want to depress you. But things are not great in a lot of jobs right now. Nearly everywhere is losing staff and that just puts pressure on those who stay. Everywhere has high sickness absence too.

So work on you but do recognise that what you've faced where you are may not be fair (and is almost certainly nothing to do with your competence) but may be common. Hopefully as you recover you will also gain skills to support you in the future.

Bingo. This is precisely why I see no future for myself. I can't tolerate these kinds of conditions but this seems to be what work is like now. It's frankly bullshit and inhumane, and I'm not capable of existing in these types of environments.

Oh you’re a lawyer! I used to work with them and it’s horrific! Have you tried eg the Government Legal Department if you like law but want less pressure? They still record time and sort of bill it but less pressure than in a law firm. Plus you get way more flex re wfh, more family friendly working hours.

Also some law firms are better than others to work at. They’re supposed to be better these days re work life balance especially since Covid. And some law is “easier” so I’ve heard than other sectors. But then again I only worked with them, was never one myself. Have you tried in house? Several friends work in house after doing magic and silver circle work.

Honestly think about doing this daily. So far the fear of the jobs market has curbed the "fuck you" impulse but it's only a matter of time.

I actually will probably have an interview with my former employer, a government agency, soon. (It's the only job I have applied for.)

I'm not UK qualified and I don't really fancy client work. But this may be something I would consider in the future if desperate. My ex was unemployed for several years and managed to get hired as a partner at a boutique firm, so there may be some hope????

I did. Left a 20 year career last summer. Decided I'd take 6months - a year out. Starting to run out of money so I'm doing a few small temp jobs over the next couple of months and have a full time admin role starting after that. Big pay cut but my hours will be nearly half of what I was doing so it balances out. Much less stress and with the tax/NI/student loan repayments on the higher salary, I won't take home that much less on my new salary.

Best thing I did for my MH.

But...my old career gave me a lot of transferable skills so with a well tailored CV and cover letter and applying for jobs a few levels down from what I should, it was doable.

Come in-house, the water is warm. I am in compliance.

Being a partner at a boutique firm sounds like a recipe for disaster because of the billing pressure and targets. Unless you have your own client base, you will be vulnerable to being dumped with work or asked to leave. As a fee-earner, you are never quite happy because you are either too busy or if you are not busy you have to market for clients otherwise you are at risk of getting the sack. There is always that scythe over your head.

Being a lawyer is one of the most stressful jobs. You are basically solving other people's problems, having to juggle files and do detailed work under time constraints, fearful of missing something out or giving the wrong advice.

In-house is better. There can be high volume, sometimes consistently higher than a fee earner where the work peaks and troughs, but you can manage your time and deadlines better.

I cannot speak for government lawyers never having been one.

There are so many lawyers on mn. You can start a thread about alternative legal and other careers.

I am in-house. It started well, with a great manager and a good work life balance.

Then my friend who had urged me to join started bullying me and it came to light that she had convinced me to take a job title way below my capabilities. Then they removed all promotions. Then there was a reorg and I was given a new, less supportive manager. I had sort of decided to live with this until after my wedding, but then I was given another new manager who saddled me with work way above my pay grade, in addition to my existing workload.

I can handle this work, but there was suddenly way too much of it with zero junior support, plus my manager wouldn't have one to ones and seemed pissed off when I tried to have occasional strategy discussions, once or twice a month.

Anyway, it was all sort of fine until then. But the stress, humiliating job title, and unfair pay all became too much over time.

Maybe another in-house role would be ok, but this really burned me.

@blueshoes sorry for the rant 😅

Maybe I will start a thread as you suggest. I keep flipflopping between thinking I have ruined my life and believing that all will be great if I can just have a rest and spend some time sorting myself out (including careerwise).

The problem is it is now next to impossible to get a 'low stress part time job.'
Its absolutely brutal out there.

Yeah.

I have considered that we can cut out all unnecessary expenses - we waste so much money now due to having no time or headspace - and maybe get a lodger or two. These measures would offset a lot of lost income.

Leave. Life is too short to be that burnt out and miserable. You need a few months to recover then apply for jobs.

Vent away!

Yeah, in-house sucks if you don't have a good manager because it is more hierachical compared to a law firm that tends to have has a flatter structure.

Why on earth would your 'friend' do that to you?

If you had to find another job, rather than work in a supermarket as others suggest (not sure you are considering that), it is generally easier to get a job in your same role/sector. Is that realistic? I am sure you must have considered it. Legal skills are valuable. Don't let those people make you feel otherwise.

Government legal department as far as I understand it is just as valued as non gov legal, you just work on different cases and areas, eg with MOD for soldiers claims or employment. That’s not to say there’s no bullying there as there definitely is. But a few corporate lawyers OP’s age have joined. They have offices around the country, forget where exactly. Or even in house at a council, a family friend used to do that for Croydon and then Birmingham councils.