To quit my job with nothing lined up

[Vinividivici]

I have been miserable in my job for a long time. It has impacted my physical and mental health. I am now fully burnt out and on sick leave (and I have other threads on this!).

AIBU to resign with nothing new lined up, with a possible plan to take a career break?

We would be able to pay our bills, though we would have to tighten our belts. But I could spend more time with my child and relieve a lot of daily household stress so that my husband and I can get regular exercise and more sleep. We are mid 40s and I am beginning to worry that our current lifestyle will lead us to be very stressed and unhealthy into old age.

I have done this three times and had a nice year off between roles each time. BUT that was in a very different climate. Actually, once was in the pandemic and it was quite stressful and soul destroying trying to find a job after that one, once I was ready.

I’d be very careful of quitting without a plan right now.

I agreed for my husband to do this in his mid 40s for same reason. He was supposed to start looking for another job but never did. After six years with no work I can't see how he will ever work again. Mixed feelings. He's unhappy about the lack of purpose.

In the current jobs market and cost of living situation, it would have to be really bad before I did this without something else lined up. If you'd have to tighten your belts then you need to consider how tight things could realistically get if interest rates, food prices etc keep going up.

Hi OP

Could it just be that you need to remain signed off for a bit longer? Rather than quitting in this awful job market.

I think I feel similarly to you and wondering about needed to be signed off sick. At the moment I’m physically not well but wonder if stress is behind it.

Or as the pp said, can you see if something less stressful might be available?

It doesn't matter how bad the recruitment market is. Someone who has opted to leave a job without one to go to is always going to be looked on with suspicion. The current market just makes it even more difficult.

I did it and didn’t look back. It’s not worth the physical and mental toll to keep pushing yourself on. Take a break and regroup. Sign up for an employment agency and go in with the mindset of taking things as they come your way to see how you go whilst you look for the kind of job you would like.

You should find a low stress easy part time job, just do your shift and leave , no further pressure. That way you’re still having an income.

If it was a choice, I'd say no, it's a bad idea and you need something else lined up before quitting. But it doesn't sound like it is a choice you can make, is it? You don't sound physically or mentally able to go back. So I think you have to take the risk and go for it. Especially as you (as a family) are able to cope financially without your salary at the moment.

In my case I was out of work for a year but volunteered. Didn’t stop me getting a job recently. No questions asked around it either.

I'd say if DH is supportive and agrees, so for it. Give yourself some time and space. Also, if you can do more household tasks, like you say, that'll leave more quality time with your family. You can obviously keep your eyes open for another job/explore other careers, but if nothing comes up in the near future, you can tell employers you were taking time out to study (if you do that) or family time.

Might not be the ideal job, but people come and go in retail quite a bit - if money becomes tight, you could just do a couple of shifts somewhere for now. That's what I did after being a SAHM for 13 years. Moving forward, I found two different part-time jobs that worked together. I'm 59 now, already left one, about to leave the others, and someone has already said they know where I could possibly get a job.

I was burnt out from my job. I couldn’t afford to not work and so I took a lower paid job but in an area that would look good on my cv.

It was honestly the best thing I ever did.
Yes money was very tight but actually I wasn’t burnt out and so I had the time to meal plan and didn’t rely on expensive frozen foods and alcohol to get me through.

I would consider firstly getting a lower stress job FT or a job that’s PT.
I am someone who enjoys working and I think many of us benefit from the structure of it.

I think completely giving up work before trying an alternative is a bit risky.

I think definitely counselling and a good career coach could help you personally. I know one if you want to pm me. Your confidence sounds at rock bottom and needs building up.

There are good part time jobs out there. Just a question of looking and applying. Have been doing this since January. And it paid off in the end.

I have just realised who you are. You've asked the same question over and over again in other threads you have started. What exactly are you looking for people to say that hasnt already been said?

Perhaps concentrate on what is making you so unwell. You mention not being valued in your current role, would moving to a new job make you feel any more valued, in my experience the first 6 months are very hard, proving yourself over and over. But, that might be the challenge you need.

Counselling and/or a career coach might be a good investment.

I would suggest having a really good chat with a few quality recruiters (some are great, some awful). I’m ex recruitment and we are used to seeing this where a title doesn’t match up with responsibilities and a recruiter can pitch this in the right way to a client.

I would also agree with a lot of the points above. Jobs that are advertised currently are frequently tentative and either being pulled due to changes or they may hire at some point for 110% perfect person. You need resilience in the current market and realistically you would be in a much stronger position doing that from your current role.

And I would say there is a reality that you could be going frying pan in to the fire because it is true that the majority of companies are functioning on a reduced / overstretched workforce as budges aren’t going far enough.

Could you go freelance and see out the gap that way? It could be good to concentrate on temporary / maternity role contracts which can be easier to secure.

I know job searching is exhausting when I’m a role and not in a great mental space but I’d honestly say update your CV, contact some strong recruiters and also update LinkedIn as a priority and make yourself ‘open to work’ that shows to recruiters (all back end and different to the green banner open to work). Start making key contacts on LinkedIn. Make sure it’s up to date with a strong profile and clearly state skills and use key words that your experience covers (not just title). This as a bare minimum will create more passive traction with being on recruiters books and having yourself visible on LinkedIn.

This is a specific question as my thinking progresses. And I flagged that I havre other threads. So I am unsure what you're upset about?

I've done it three times and got jobs quickly. But it really depends on how marketable your skills are and from a position of feeling unwell, it's hard to hunt for jobs.

This is what I'd do in your situation.

Try to get back to work but with reasonable adjustments. Make it clear that you believe the work atmosphere has contributed to your current ill health and ask for what would help. E.g. working from home full or part time. Reduced hours in a phased return. Jump through the hoops they give you. Offer to see OH etc.

That gives your workplace some options either of which will help you.

1. They give such adjustments that your work becomes tolerable for now. Which helps because I firmly believe being off work completely doesn't help mental health and some work in a manageable way can be supportive.
2. They find a way to manage you out but may pay you some money to go. They could theoretically dismiss you on capability but if they've not given reasonable adjustments I'd be straight to tribunal.

Then it gives you a little headspace either with better working conditions or some more money in your pocket to get better and then look for a new job if the conditions aren't ok to stay. (if they go for option 1).

I left my job last year (redundancy) and consciously took some time off. However, the job market is way more intense these days that I had anticipated. I started on job seekers allowance and actually still didn’t have a job by the end of the 6 month period. I’m specifically looking for part time roles and they are so oversubscribed I’m barely making any headway. I’m going to look for full time roles soon even though that might be difficult to manage from a family perspective. I would caution you quitting outright and see if you could explore some part time or job share options at your current company.

I wondered about the reasonable adjustment or phased return route. Phased return would be time limited but would allow you to assess how sustainable reduced hours could be for your health & financially.

DH quit his job last year with no replacement lined up, it took him nearly a year to find another job. He couldn’t get a sniff of work in any of the local coffee shops, supermarkets, pubs, cafes, as is often suggested on MN. Previously when he has moved jobs, he’s been offered another within weeks, but this time was completely different and I’ve heard a similar stories from a number of recruiters that I know.

He hated his job, the management were toxic and he struggled for a long time before making the decision (which I fully supported) but, as the sole earner for over 6 months, he ended up passing his stress to me - the mental responsibility for just keeping hold of my job as the sole salary earner, especially in this climate, was far more exhausting than I imagined it would be. I’d suggesting having an honest discussion about the various implications from a family perspective. I wouldn’t leave a job at the moment without another to go to or a redundancy payout, and I’m in a relatively ubiquitous profession where jobs are ten-a-penny.

The problem is that even the quiet unstressful jobs filling shelves etc are now very diffcult to get with 100 os applicants for each job. If you know anyone on the "inside" it might be worthwhile asking around for retail or non profit sector jobs.

If your workplace is toxic I would either go off sick or do some "quiet quitting" whereby you mentally disengage from the job. In effect work your job description and paid hours but no more. Do not work unpaid time, respond to OOO emails or take on anything that is not absolutely necessary. Keep your cards close to your chest and do not let the powers that be know you are job seeking.

I did this for the last year of my employment in local government while I was putting all my efforts into researching which uni I wanted to go to (1980s). I had a 121 with my manager who told me that I had not been "quite so productive" in the last 12 months. It was with the greatest pleasure I told him that we would not be having this talk next year because I will not be here.

OP I would stay on sick leave for as long as you can if your job has caused a mental and physical burnout and use the time to job hunt.

OP people are giving you very practical advice and I'm not disagreeing with any of it, however I know how it feels when you're so burned out by a job you simply don't have the energy of headspace to think about applying for new jobs. I quit my job and did some freelance work for a while. My husband earned well so we lived for his wage for a while. It did me the world of good and I'm in a different field now.

It sounds like you need some time out. Yes it can be difficult to find a new job but it isn't impossible and it depends on your field of work. I think you need to prioritise yourself. It's miserable not having much money but I'd rather that than be miserable in a job that takes up a lot of my time.

I would.

And I wouldn't hesitate to do it.

The freedom you'll feel when you've handed in your notice will be great, and allow you to properly rest and recuperate. And soon enough you'll be able to make some longer term plans - whether that is to look for other work or to take time out.

Assuming your partner is onboard, I'd just do it.