To quit my job with nothing lined up

[Vinividivici]

I have been miserable in my job for a long time. It has impacted my physical and mental health. I am now fully burnt out and on sick leave (and I have other threads on this!).

AIBU to resign with nothing new lined up, with a possible plan to take a career break?

We would be able to pay our bills, though we would have to tighten our belts. But I could spend more time with my child and relieve a lot of daily household stress so that my husband and I can get regular exercise and more sleep. We are mid 40s and I am beginning to worry that our current lifestyle will lead us to be very stressed and unhealthy into old age.

1. Think about your current skills.
2. What is the job market like for them in a different sector.
3. Use AI to figure out some things about other work would not take you long or use up much energy, I suspect as much as putting this thread together for MN.
4. Believe in you, the feelings of burnt out will be horrible but will leaving work with nothing solve everything.
5. If you are in work it is easier to get work but when out of work you are not in the loop and on application forms you look like you have a gap in your career which makes it more difficult.

I would get out. I did similar a few years ago and ended up in my dream job (completely different field) unexpectedly within a few months. Life is too short to suffer!

Yes, I can see that things are grim. Ironically, I think the horrible jobs market is part of what has made my job so miserable. They have removed promotion options and instituted a hiring freeze, so everyone in my business line at least is being squeezed to the bone. Several people in my department are off on long term sick leave.

I think I replied on one of your other threads. I am in a similar position but unfortunately can't afford to leave just now as I'd have to take a drop in pay and I have 2 kids at uni whose rents we are paying. There is an end in sight in 12 months for this though and then I will definitely move jobs or cut my hours.

I totally understand where you are at just now. The mental and physical exhaustion where you can't even imagine applying for roles, never mind actually trying to interview and then start another job. I think you have to heal first.

How long is your current sick leave paid, if at all? Could that give you some breathing room to maybe start some medication, get counselling of some sort and try and stabilise your mental and physical health? I know how hard it is to even put one foot in front of the other some days especially when your work feels all consuming. It took me days to even build myself up to phone the gp to extend my line and I've been putting off making an appointment with the mental health practitioner for over 2 weeks. I know what is wrong though, I am in a job that is breaking me and keeping my nervous system in high alert constantly so I kind of don't see the point in talking to her but I know I need to.

All the cafes and pubs I know locally (and there are a lot of them) have all got staff and want managers or experience (which I haven’t got). Even posts eg in estate agents as admin staff seem to be thin on the ground or they’re doing without them. Used to be you could get a legal sec job locally with little experience but not seen those advertised for ages.

Could you retrain whilst you’re off?

The firm would pay for 6 months, but of course the GP has to agree that I am unwell.

I realise that I am very, very lucky to be able to take time off from a financial perspective, though I don't want to squander our resources.

I'm so sorry that you're in that position. Really hope that you can find some respite before you break.

This is a good idea in principle, but I truly have no idea what I would do instead.

Yeah, I just don't even know what is out there. Secretaries have gone the way of the dodo - in my workplace, only the elite have admin support and the rest of us have to do all associated admin on top of our jobs.

Sorry to hear you’re feeling so bad. Would you want to leave that particular career entirely?

Definitely look after your mental health, maybe look for part time not too stressful jobs for now.
I wouldn't burn myself out.

Have a think about what your skills are and what you’d like to do.

A good career coach might give good advice too. I saw one.

There are PA/EA jobs out there and even admin for local councils who often do wfh models, friend of mine does that for Bromley council. But competition can be fierce nowadays.

I phoned the National Careers Service last week and they were awful so I wouldn't bother with them. The advisors must live in a bubble where all sectors are hiring constantly and have unlimited funds for admin support and secretaries 🤣

My husbands contract finished in January with nothing lined up and he is starting his new role next week.

It was a long old slog to get here. Constant applications and interviews and rejections is a lot mentally and its taken its toll. It has been useful to have the time to accommodate it, I can't imagine how we could have done it alongside work, one week he had 3 interviews- they just sent the times through- I don't see how you'd get away with it with a job in place as well!

If you can handle the break I think it does help, if you won't also be worrying about the money. But when we got to almost three months of nothing biting it started to sit heavy on us then, it felt like nothing was going to come off. It made it hard to make plans. I was worried how a career break that stretched too long might be perceived.

My DH recently left a job with nothing lined up and it has been amazing. The relief was almost immediate. He's a different person and I no longer feel like calling the divorce lawyers.
Being happy in our short lives is important. If you can afford it, go for it.

The way the jobs market is and the way it’s going it will be a big risk. You may not get back in at the level you are now. Shortlisting via AI is awful and there seems to be little credit given for experience. I’d find something else first and if you can’t well that’s telling you something.

No, not in this climate. Make hay as a lot of jobs will go anyway.

Is there anything you can do as a sole trader? Think, think. You have a bit of time to research this and give it a go. Try asking AI what services your skills align with.

www.gov.uk/set-up-as-sole-trader

I’d post on the work forum here. I got good advice about two areas to retrain in, both of which I’m probably looking into.

You can retrain (a friend of mine is doing this) but it’s a long hard slog. Family friend used to be a headteacher, retrained as a life coach and now runs her own business training head teachers. And gives career coaching. Not been easy to build up though and she has the teaching knowledge.

But in this climate and at OP’s age you need other fall back plans.

Not them. A proper careers counsellor is best. If you can afford it.

Another ironic point is that I have gotten into this state in part due to anxiety over my age and lack of (visible) career progression.

I have worried how unemployable I may appear to be at my age with my truly humiliating job title, which in no way reflects my abilities or actual job responsibilities. This, plus a number of other factors, has led to a horrible depletion in my mental health.

I worked so, so hard to prove that I deserved a promotion, and now here I am, off on sick leave and instead having proven that I am worthless.

It's a bugger that there are not of opportunities out there. I had to take a job slightly out of my field because I am on my own, and beggers cant be choosers. It's also extremely stressful but I am just under 18 months away from collecting my pension so I am sticking it out.