Was sex at school less stigmatised in the late 90s?

[blubberball]

I was at school in the late 90s. I see things online now about "body count" and how that can be used by some to shame people (women). I don't know about your school and the general attitude around at the time, but it really seemed like the opposite was true back then. The cool people at school were the ones who had experience. Admittedly my town did have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe at the time. Was this the case when others were at school? People didn't seem ashamed of sex when I was at school. It was the opposite, they were very proud of it and laughed at the inexperienced people.

They definitely were not Brad Pitts 😅 I think it was absolutely a lad mag culture at the time. Seemed to me at the time if you didn't have big tits and blonde hair, you weren't a worthy girl or woman. I desperately wanted to dye my hair blonde, but no hairdresser would allow it due to the damage it would do to my hair

Also yes, very much a working class area

So the magic number is below 10. When it gets to 11, that's when it turns bad. There's a lady online who makes extremely good points about why body count doesn't matter (to logical people who stick to facts), and why body count does matter (to illogical people who go in their imagination and make up stories, give themselves unnecessary emotions, and then blame other people for their emotions, and want to control other people)

From what I've seen online, a virgin would be highly desirable and fetishised. There's a bit of indoctrination culture and religion mixed in as well that might not apply to UK culture

I remember feeling a lot of pressure to lose my virginity before 16 at school in the early noughties. From Y8/Y9 it felt pretty much expected that if you had any boyfriend there would be some sort of sexual activity, if not full sex.

I don't know if that was more to do with my immediate peer group rather than the prevailing social norms - we were the ones who thought of themselves as 'the cool kids', smoking behind the bike shed and cutting class and all that. I suspect the other groups thought it was all a bit pathetic!

I do recall some of my female friends being referred to as 'car slags' as they usually had older boyfriends with a car.

It was all very toxic and I'm quite glad things seem to have changed!

I've seen this as well, stuff like " when I marry she will be a teenage virgin as what's the point of getting one that's been used" Twitter/X was rank for it. I stopped using and it was so depressing and so rife. They talk about women like livestock.

I read this 15 year olds account in the guardian and I did not experience anything near these levels in school: www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/feb/23/15-year-old-girl-misogyny-social-media-online-abuse

I've read about young women decentering men and it's easy to see why.

Went to school for 14 years in Ireland, catholic school taught by nuns and there was absolutely zero sex education, but we were all terrified of having sex because God would know. Then I moved to England, it was completely different. Everybody was so open about it in school! I remember being absolutely horrified. Then I started to have sex too, to fit in I think, got pregnant at 16 because I’d never been taught about safe sex!

I know it enrages you that the majority of people do care (a lot) about sloppy seventy seconds. But they do. So that's that :)

But you keep trying to insult me and projecting your emotional problems on to me, and I will keep laughing at your attempts 😆

I'm not enraged, illogical people care about it. Logical people don't use phrases like "sloppy seventy seconds". They say "safe, consensual sex". Laugh it up

No, not in my experience.
I would have thought it was better today.
In my school in the 90’s “slut shaming” brought joy for many dick-heads, male and female.
Horrendous rumours were spread, mud sticks. I made the mistake of confiding in a “friend” about a first experience, the whole year group knew.

You typed with spittle frothing from your lips, desperately trying to insult me as you project your own issues, and I laugh at you 😆

Enjoy your life 🤷‍♀️

Enraged frothing intensifies 😆

It was way more stigmatised in the 90’s when i was a teenager than nowadays. I was even called a “ slag” for getting ( what i now know is raped) by a boy a few years older than me!

At my school if you were a virgin you were "frigid" and all that crap. I threw my virginity away at a party because my 2 best friends lied about not being virgins (from when I first met them in year 7!!!) because they made me feel like the odd one out. Fuck that. I hate that it was how things were back then, it being acceptable for older men to sleep with 16 year olds and all that.

If you say so 🤷‍♀️

any more than ‘one’ probably

People were not ashamed of it, but it felt as if the sex question was linked greatly to 'maturity' as well. For girls, getting into a couple with someone older, sometimes a lot older (able to drive, working, clubbing), was the more glamorous thing. A few of the 16 year olds had actually moved in with men who were working (possibly unhappy with their parents, but from the outside it didn't seem like it either from their, or their parents' points of view), were still going to school, but were dismissive about exams and had plans to train in something that wouldn't be on a school curriculum the minute that 16 was passed. I can't imagine that happening so calmly now. Under 16, there were a couple who became pregnant under age. At least half of both sexes would not have wanted to stay in education after 18.

But the thing I hate turning over in my mind as an adult, now, was the odd scene where as a pupil you either heard or glimpsed teachers trying to have a conversation with younger teens - and these were both boys and girls - about abuse. Sometimes of them, often of a sister. When I say 'heard' it was because of the high volume distress and occasional going ballistic involved, hence not always discreet. As it happened more than once, I would imagine there were also other 'quieter' conversations that weren't given away. So horrible.

This in a small, average northern suburb of a big city, a large school.

OP I am sure we hear these terms like’body count’ and ‘ran through’ because terminology spreads faster than it used to now re social media. And unfortunately young men are targeted by some pretty nasty algorithms that spread some horrible ideas about women, and teach them that these are normal terms that it’s acceptable to use.

so overall attitudes will always be mixed but there is definitely a louder portion of society these days who openly talk about women solely in relation to their ‘value’ to men

Why do you think I'm using ChatGPT? 🤣 Because I accidentally added a bullet point?
However, I apologise for misreading your post. I see now you did talk about both sexes. I was tired last night and read carelessly - I stand corrected.

All through my childhood and teen years my mother's mantra was that older men are not interested in your mind. If they are hanging around, and flattering you, it is for them and not you.

So for me, when I saw those situations, they were very clear. I used to feel very sorry for young girls with the older guys.

I was a teenager in the early 70's and it was definitely considered "cool" if you'd shagged someone by the age of 14. In fact you were laughed at if you hadn't. But then it was the 70's and nobody cared about anything very much (except your parents).

Good job you had your mother looking out for you and protecting you 💐

I agree @blubberball.

I behaved in a quite questionable way occasionally as a teenager. I was desperate to have a boyfriend and have sex, although numbers and stuff like that didn't really feature.

As an aside, the term "body count" is heinous.

Underage sex was something to be proud of when I was at school, to the point that the pupil "having an affair" with the Chemistry teacher gained all sorts of kudos for it. He did eventually go to prison for it, but it was a very open secret at the time, and it took 30 years to prosecute him. He was asked to leave the school, but only to take a similar positon at another local school.