Was sex at school less stigmatised in the late 90s?

[blubberball]

I was at school in the late 90s. I see things online now about "body count" and how that can be used by some to shame people (women). I don't know about your school and the general attitude around at the time, but it really seemed like the opposite was true back then. The cool people at school were the ones who had experience. Admittedly my town did have the highest teenage pregnancy rate in Europe at the time. Was this the case when others were at school? People didn't seem ashamed of sex when I was at school. It was the opposite, they were very proud of it and laughed at the inexperienced people.

Yep, nothing new under the sun, including men shaming women for their 'body count' whilst considering theirs is, of course, no consequence at all.

I agree. I hope gay kids can openly be themselves now, without any fear or shame. I remember one gay lad at school, and he did not have good mental health. I thought he was so cool. Statistically, there must have been more gay kids in the school, but only one was open about it.

I remember girls being quite homophobic about teachers they thought might be lesbian

I don’t know that it’s more stigmatised now exactly but teens certainly seem to be more sensible about it all as a whole. I think probably because parents are generally more open about it and teens are better educated about it. It’s not treated like some sort of exciting forbidden fruit like it was when I was a teen anyway.

They're definitely more sensible now. Binge drinking was very normal when I was young, but doesn't seem to be a big thing with young people now

I started secondary school in 2001 and it was worse to be frigid than to sleep around. I was called frigid for not kissing a boy at age 12!

Who remembers the AIDs campaigns ?

I left high school in 1999 and whereas there was definitely a stigma for the boys who had never had sex, there was also a stigma for the girls who had. Girls were in an impossible situation actually where they were accused of being easy if they had sex, and frigid if they did not. Looking back it was all about point scoring for the boys, and controlling the bodies of young women. I hope things have changed!

Really? Was it a very working class area (no disrespect there)?

None of the boys made fun of slim girls with small breasts at my school. The prettiest girls were asked out and fancied most by the lads. I can understand that some teenage boys were probably Lads Mag and Page 3 obsessed though. I hope the “flat” (hate that term) girls put those lads back in their place; doubt they were Brad Pitts 🤣

As a very old woman I've not heard the term 'body count', even when I was teaching in the NW, but I remember watching 4 Weddings and a Funeral where the Andi McDowell character lists all her experiences, I was amazed at her memory!

Generally earlier the better at my school in the 90s.

High body count has always been looked down on, always will be unless we change in some huge evolutionary sense. Nobody likes sloppy seventy seconds - and that goes for both sexes. The actual number may vary, below ten was ok for both sexes, now it's probably below 20.

But you are fooling yourself badly if you think it doesn't matter to most people. It just does.

Men always pushed the narrative that slutty men were somehow cool, but most women always preferred men with a low body count too, they just weren't as vocal about it.

Fashions in everything including how we talk about or societally endorse screwing around come and go. Human nature remains basically stable.

Yeah, I remember that too everyone around me sort of went "ewwwwwww" at that number 😅 From memory it was high 30s.

It might not be cool to have a high ‘body count’ for girls these days but I’m guessing it’s probably still a bit embarrassing/uncool to get to 16 or 17 and still be a virgin..although I don’t know, my kids are still in primary, maybe someone with teenagers can comment on whether that’s accurate or not?

I was at school in the 70's/80's and body count seemed shameful back then.
I presume the shame being brought back (if in the 90's was deemed ok) is just part of the general trend towards misogyny that is happening at the moment. Thanks to the Andrew Tates of this world and social media influencers.

Agree, I live very very near 3 pubs and a micro-brewery bar type thing. Before covid lockdown binge drinking with youngsters was still very much a thing, we'd get fights most weekends and a lot of them was the 18-20 group and younger. It was like the wild west tbh. Lockdown just seemed to change everything, those kids just disappeared and never returned when the pubs reopened. It's amazing how quickly the attitude to drink has changed.

@Waitingforthesunnydays I can only judge by my DD (20) but I think it’s more common to wait longer now tbh. A few of DD’s friends became fully sexually active at 16/17 but many waited longer. Not because they didn’t have opportunities, but because their parents talked more openly about choice and not being pressured into anything.

So is "frigid" not really a term that is thrown about these days at school?

There definitely is this attitude around but I'd say that's extreme. Plenty of Gen Zs at uni are dating without being shamed.

Underage sex isn't new but the OP seems more about attitudes to it rather than the sex itself. How common was slut shaming in the 70s, in your experience?

Well it's new slang...Gen Z likes gruesome slang. (I'm older Gen Z). See the use of 💀 rather than 🤣 by Gen Z, for instance.

You couldn't win when I was at school, slept with people you were in total danger of being called a slag, didn't sleep with people you were frigid

12?? That's so young...

There's evidence Gen Z are having less sex I anything.

Nice attitude!

I was at a single sex school in the 90s. There seemed to be two groups tbh - a boy crazy / rebel group who thought it was exciting to sleep with a lot of people, and everyone else (a much bigger group) who mostly didn't have serious boyfriends or do more than kissing before uni.

I never felt looked down on by the other group - maybe they thought it or said it behind my back, but if they did I didn't care.

I actually lost my virginity very late. Most people in my life probably assumed I'd lost it a decade before I did.