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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if anyone lives on a small Scottish Island?

280 replies

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 14:20

Specifically Eday or Tiree but thoughts and opinions of any others very welcome!

DP and I are considering a relocation from the south coast to Scotland, somewhere with land we can use.

We have found a couple of properties that we like but we’d like to hear thoughts from people who live there about how life works in the smaller communities and places where not everything is on your doorstep.

We have one home educated son aged 9 so nearby schools not an essential consideration.

OP posts:
user1476613140 · Yesterday 20:59

828Pax · Yesterday 20:37

I can't offer a personal view however a friend relocated last year and is utterly miserable due to the lack of socialising she is able to do, and she wasn't a terribly social person in the first place!

She needs to pick up a musical instrument. Music brings people together and helps with cohesion on the islands.

xxxlove · Yesterday 21:00

Randomchat · Yesterday 19:25

So what should parents of sen kids who already live rurally do? All move to big cities? Where resources are horribly over-stretched anyway

Parents with kids with SEN prefer being close to places with services for when these kids start becoming teens and need to be integrated into the adult world. If all you envisage for your poor kids is to be at your house 24/7 as adults, no access to work coach or benefits and are so rich to do it, please do it

I home educate like poster a child with possible ND issues and want to move to Cornwall for example but so far stay in the SE until I can see the whole future picture more clearly. I have also properties abroad for which I can just move to, but as my child is born here, I cannot uproot them

xxxlove · Yesterday 21:02

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 19:30

I really don’t know what has your knickers in such a twist?

That I had the audacity to ask this question? Or that I won’t give entirely unrelated information that has no bearing on whether or not we make this decision?

Because having an actual conversation with relevant details do make a nice thread and provide more opportunities people to discuss with you

DreamTheMoors · Yesterday 21:03

LittleMyLabyrinth · Yesterday 20:49

Can't speak to Scotland specifically, but I grew up on a very small island in North America. Small community, very harsh winters. We loved it. Not for everyone, but for a specific kind of person it's lovely. We were quite outdoorsy and didn't mind driving a couple of hours to go to 'town'.

PNW?

Locutus2000 · Yesterday 21:05

I lived on Uist for a bit. Barren miserable hellhole where as an English person you will never be truly welcome. I missed trees terribly and the beaches get boring really quickly.

InconsequentialFerret · Yesterday 21:06

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 14:31

This is helpful, thank you.

I’m not too worried about longer days in winter, we’re all quite hardy and outdoorsy so I don’t think this would be too much of a shock. But the rest is definitely worth consideration.

You say that, but you live on the south coast of England. You have absolutely no idea.

I would put money on it being a massive massive shock. Not only shorter days in winter, but more rain, storms, and generally grey skies. You won't have too much sun, or blue skies. On those kind of dank days it never seems to get light, and there are a lot of them.

Winter can be phenominally depressing for those not used to it. Don't underestimate this.

Baconwithspacepotatoes · Yesterday 21:07

I live on the Cowal peninsula in Argyll. Feels fairly remote/island like but it's a short ferry trip to Inverclyde then good public transport links to Glasgow. The little passenger only ferry (Calmac) isn't the most reliable in poor weather but the Western Ferries are rarely off. Still possible to drive round the long way too if ferries are off.

Mammut · Yesterday 21:11

InconsequentialFerret · Yesterday 21:06

You say that, but you live on the south coast of England. You have absolutely no idea.

I would put money on it being a massive massive shock. Not only shorter days in winter, but more rain, storms, and generally grey skies. You won't have too much sun, or blue skies. On those kind of dank days it never seems to get light, and there are a lot of them.

Winter can be phenominally depressing for those not used to it. Don't underestimate this.

Tiree is one of the sunniest places in the UK!

Feis123 · Yesterday 21:16

"I’m not planning a mass isolation."
It does not matter what YOU plan. The islanders will decide if you are going to be isolated or not. This is a very big factor, bigger than many others I think.

SpaceRaccoon · Yesterday 21:17

OP the suggestions for the NE Highlands are good. Already a lot of people from England/central belt etc, Inverness is a useful city and it's actually one of the drier parts of the UK.
The villages tend to have loads on - everything from language and country dancing classes to lawn bowling and running groups. Plus loads of volunteering opportunities. It's not at all hard to meet people.

rainbowunicorn · Yesterday 21:19

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 19:57

ill admit ive not read the full thread and i must have missed the context etc
personally im intrigued because the winters are ment to be different, i can accept the isolation etc but its more the supplie lines that would puzzle me etc

What do you mean? What is puzzling you? Surely you can understand that a remote island in Scotland is going to face more challenges in the winter than a twin on the mainland. The ferries can go off at short notice meaning the lorries delivering to the supermarkets cant get there. It can take several days before conditions improve enough. Flights get cancelled all the time even in the height of summer.

Papyrophile · Yesterday 21:23

Have you been put off yet OP? I live in rural Cornwall, which is in no way so hard an experience, and even here, life is not made easy for incomers.

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 21:23

rainbowunicorn · Yesterday 21:19

What do you mean? What is puzzling you? Surely you can understand that a remote island in Scotland is going to face more challenges in the winter than a twin on the mainland. The ferries can go off at short notice meaning the lorries delivering to the supermarkets cant get there. It can take several days before conditions improve enough. Flights get cancelled all the time even in the height of summer.

except i dont know anything, anyway why the attitude ?

Valeyard15 · Yesterday 21:27

One key thing to get your head around is that 'property' in an isolated rural environment isn't just a thing to be bought and sold - land and belonging means much more than that to everyone around you

As someone who grew up, and now lives on, a remote island, I'm afraid this is romanticised to the point of being hopelessly twee. Islanders can be as mercenary as anyone else. Many of them treat their land like dumping grounds and they like money the same as anyone.

Mammut · Yesterday 21:27

There were about 103000 people living on Scottish islands in 2022. It’s not as niche or difficult as this thread would suggest.

Stnam · Yesterday 21:29

I don't know about Scottish island life, but I have been homeschooled in an isolated place in a small community. It helps if you are friendly and easy going because you to have to rely on people and get along with them regardless of what they are like. There was very little privacy and even as a child I knew who was having an affair with who, who couldn't do their job properly and whose son got caught stealing etc. On the upside, I did form very close friendships and people did pull together a lot. One child did die because the weather was too bad for her to be airlifted out to a hospital. That was pretty distressing. She was my age but I didn't know her as she lived in an even more remote area. She had made it to our town but she needed better medical care than was available. I went to boarding school when I was secondary age because my parents wanted me to have a better education and qualifications. We lived there for about seven years until my father's work wanted him to go to another place.

rainbowunicorn · Yesterday 21:29

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 21:23

except i dont know anything, anyway why the attitude ?

No attitude, just genuinly cant understand that someone wouldnt be able to see how winters would be very different and that supply lines to an island are very vulnerable.
There are loads of posts explaining the challenges of living in a Scottish island. You surely dont honestly think that winter on Tiree is no different from the south coast of England. You just need to look on a map to see how exposed it is.

CharleneElizabethBaltimore · Yesterday 21:34

rainbowunicorn · Yesterday 21:29

No attitude, just genuinly cant understand that someone wouldnt be able to see how winters would be very different and that supply lines to an island are very vulnerable.
There are loads of posts explaining the challenges of living in a Scottish island. You surely dont honestly think that winter on Tiree is no different from the south coast of England. You just need to look on a map to see how exposed it is.

i did say ive not read the thread, and yes when i study the subject in detail then ill know more, but at the moment my knowledge on this is zero, hench my original post

Valeyard15 · Yesterday 21:36

Some things you will have to consider:

Lack of services (e.g. Shop, post office, pub)
Difficulty getting hold of contractors, and high costs when you do
Transport disruption, not necessarily just because of weather
Lack of freedom/flexibility
Can be poor or constrained digital connectivity
Very high cost of living
High courier costs
Possible lack of peer group for DCs

OhBuggerandArse · Yesterday 21:38

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 19:30

I really don’t know what has your knickers in such a twist?

That I had the audacity to ask this question? Or that I won’t give entirely unrelated information that has no bearing on whether or not we make this decision?

I don't understand why you think it's unrelated, though. What you do has an immediate bearing on how easy it will be to settle in a rural island setting. If you are a teacher, mechanic, plumber, electrician, or cook, for example, there will probably be work for you. If you are a personal stylist, or a nightclub promoter, or work in corporate PR, it might be more difficult. Obviously that has an impact on how viable your plans are.

I did want to say something about SEN and moving to the islands though. You're not alone in thinking of it as an option, but as @sunshine244 points out, you're proposing something which might cut you all off from sources of support. Potentially you'll be in a situation where there won't just be less available, but none at all, and tiny rural schools and island infrastructure are not equipped to put in place the kinds of interventions and help that you might have access to elsewhere; the teacher pupil ratios, the availability of staff, and the degree to which all the staff are already stretched beyond realistic expectations can mean that it's simply not possible to help pupils with additional needs in the way that you would hope. The same is true outside the school system; there may be other homeschoolers, but the infrastructure around them is much more limited than you would be able to access in more populated places.

In the islands that I'm connected to, there's been an influx over recent years of families who have had a really difficult time with kids with additional needs and think that more space and being in the countryside will improve things. For many of them it has been a bad move, for all the reasons we've been talking about. But they have also had a significant impact on the communities and schools they have moved to, not because of any bad intent or lack of good will on anyone's part, but because it's so difficult for tiny schools to meet their needs and absorb the challenges they bring. Think about it proportionally - in a city primary with a few hundred pupils, the impact of one new student with additional needs can be balanced because there will already be a range of support workers and teaching assistants in place, possibly a specialist teacher or two on the staff or visiting regularly, and experience in the school of how to meet varied needs across year groups. In a school of 40 kids, with two mixed age group classes, no additional support and the head teacher in class for four days a week, there simply isn't the capacity to cope. Highland Council and Comhairle nan Eilean Siar have cut additional and SEN provision to the bone, and even when pupils are entitled to support workers they can't always supply them because of chronic staffing shortages - exacerbated, ironically, because of the rise of holiday and second home owners and incomers causes housing shortages and price inflation which mean that staff can't accept jobs because they can't find somewhere to live. Families with no extended support network can find it particularly difficult to cope in these situations, and the results can be pretty awful for everyone.

nothingcangowrongnow · Yesterday 21:50

Prepare to be shunned for being English.

nothingcangowrongnow · Yesterday 21:51

Read I am an Island by Tamsin Calidas

ScotiaLass · Yesterday 21:53

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 14:31

This is helpful, thank you.

I’m not too worried about longer days in winter, we’re all quite hardy and outdoorsy so I don’t think this would be too much of a shock. But the rest is definitely worth consideration.

It's not longer days, it's shorter days. In the depths of winter it won't be daylight until 9am and it will be dark before 4pm. That can be quite hard to cope with, and a lot of people suffer with seasonal affective disorder.

AquaLeader · Yesterday 22:04

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 15:17

I mean this is just ignorance, but thank you everyone else.

What a rude response.

GardenCovent · Yesterday 22:05

NewStartFamily · Yesterday 14:31

This is helpful, thank you.

I’m not too worried about longer days in winter, we’re all quite hardy and outdoorsy so I don’t think this would be too much of a shock. But the rest is definitely worth consideration.

Honestly op I really would consider the difference you will feel coming from the south to up here in winter.
The lack of daylight can be absolutely brutal, and not something to be minimised just because you are “outdoorsy”
If you are outdoorsy have you thought how you’ll cope not getting outside due to 50 mile an hour winds, sometimes far far higher, which are common place in winter.
I’ve lived in Scotland my whole life so have got 53 years experience of our winters and would never be as blasé to say
winter wouldn’t be too much of a shock

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