AIBU to feel bitter about an acquaintance's state-funded early retirement?

[TheAmusedQuail]

Acquaintance. Used to be a friend. I've know them for around 20 years now. Has made bad financial decision, after bad decision in their life. I'm not entirely sure why, because other than the shit decisions I've watched them make consistently, is an intelligent and reasonably functioning person. I'm not being judgemental btw, all of these decisions have had negative consequences for them and they have discussed this with me.

Sold their house. Fair amount of equity which was pissed up the wall with in 2 years. Moved into private rental, assuming the landlord would do all adjustments they wanted, massively shocked and horrified to discover that only essential maintenance would be done. Was so difficult with landlord that eventually was evicted (legally). Due to being almost homeless was housed by the council (was VERY lucky!) in a lovely flat.

They gradually worked their way up to being massively overweight. Never made any effort to do anything about it. While I have been on diet after diet, joined exercise programs and attempted (and yes, mostly failed) they have just... not. It's a different mindset and I don't understand it.

Eventually this weight gain has started to impact their health. Been on the NHS bariatric pathway twice and pulled out twice. Has been diagnosed with several weight related conditions, been given various support by the NHS (free gym etc) but only availed them as a social thing, not committing to regular exercise.

At work I'd say they've been underperforming for around 10 years. (We used to work together). Some of this was their health, but not all. Mostly disengaged and doing a bad job. Eventually, they were put on a support pathway, and still managed to fail this. So now, they've been given a pay out and medically retired. Is quite capable of doing anything they want (out and about, drives, travels by train, flies, very very sociable. Very active.). BUT due to intelligence (able to manipulate the application) and the health issues is now on PIP. As well as a large work pay out.

I can't help but be bitter. I'm older and have been a lot more responsible. I work really hard, perform well, (still!) am taking responsibility for my weight, am careful with money, have prioritised bill paying rather than profligate spending. And yet, am facing another 10 years of work while this lazy individual has managed to facilitate a massively early 'retirement' all funded by the state.

I KNOW most people on benefits are genuine. I'm a socialist and am very glad we have the system we do. But this person isn't genuine. It's been a life of self indulgence and selfishness. I watch the social media posts and just think... I'd love 1/10th of that life. But I can't afford it.

Would you swap places if you had to take the lot, so you get the council flat and PIP but you have to take the weight gain and health problems?

Morbidly obese/ bariatric size. Co- morbidities. No longer working . Owned own home but now in council flat having blew all the money in two years.
Won't be 'out and about' and 'very active' in the years to come.
Sounds awful. Why on earth would you feel bitter.

No one is stopping you from selling your house and becoming disabled, go for it!

Are you suggesting she has invented some of the detail? Which bit, the financial recklessness, the council flat, the obesity, the early retirement, the holidays? Because if she has invented any of those things, that is pretty shitty too.

How does this medical retirement work? Do you mean she'll get her occupational pension early as she won't get her state pension til 67?

Until then she'll get UC dependent on her savings, ESA for a year, so it's not that great, or am I missing something?

‘Pissing it up the wall’ could also equate to ‘living’ or enjoying life. If col crisis tells everyone anything it’s that trying your best, working hard, saving, sometimes just lands you back at the same square in the game of life as everyone else. I think you need to stop watching this person and start taking steps to enjoy your life.

Stay in your lane. You only know what you think you know about others. Anything else is speculation and changes nothing.

No, you're not.missing anything. This is another post created to stir up resentment and anger at disabled people. Only today there was a report that abuse towards blue badge holders has increased due to the desire to smear them all as scroungers.

Once again, for those at the back: PIP is already hard to claim. You need evidence from consulatants. Most claims are turned down and then accepted at tribunal.

If you have someone in your life who.you believe is lying to claim you are free to report them. And if this woman in the OP is posting her social life all over social media then it will be easy to prove (and a bit dim of her).

You are also free to damage your health to the point that you are unable to live a free life, own any assets and be wholly dependent on the whims of whichever government is in charge while.being treated as sub-human by society.

I would suggest those actively 'choosing' this life are not examples of emotionally healthy individuals to start with.

This. It really doesn't sound like they’ll be happy long term. If they’re even happy now, which I doubt.

How does this medical retirement work?
I wondered this. If you can't do your job surely you would just leave.

@TheAmusedQuail I am sure the family will want you to give the eulogy at this persons funeral, which will probably be sooner than they think.😪

Some pension schemes allow you to take your pension early if you are unlikely to be able to work again due to health issues or disabilities.

You’ve said what they did or did not do, but not once have you posited a cause other than laziness.

Making bad financial decisions can be caused by several disabilities. No one sets out to make bad decisions on purpose.

Being evicted for being ‘difficult’ about maintenance by her landlord is a shitty way to say she was revenge evicted for standing up for her rights. She was likely evicted using a section 21 no fault eviction which a landlord can issue for no reason whatsoever.

Gradually became overweight. Many invisible disabilities and the medications for them can cause weight gain which cannot be shifted. How do you know she did nothing? Or that something could be done? Do you know why she was dropped from bariatric surgery? There’s a long list of conditions like severe cardiovascular disease, uncontrolled diabetes, active gastrointestinal diseases (IBS, Celiac, Crohn's disease), and certain psychiatric disorders.

I doubt they would have been medically retired instead of sacked if there were not serious health conditions going on. PIP is also not easy to get even if you are intelligent.

There is no reason to be jealous of someone who has had a difficult life. It’s hardly a life anyone would want. Says a lot of you being envious of this person who clearly struggles.

If this is real, then their life has been full of negative consequences and sounds quite stressful and chaotic. I imagine there are some mental health issues going on. They’re also fat, unhealthy, live in a council flat and sound like they would be disliked by work colleagues and others.

I wouldn’t waste any time being envious of this person.

OP just step back for a bit. Does it really make sense to be jealous of someone who has a council house and is living off a pension decades early?!

he sounds like a total loser but lots of people are. If there weren’t losers we wouldn’t shine as much in work and life, right?

he sounds like a poor person with a chaotic life. I can’t think of anything worse really

I believe the current version of Tory are very much up for it. Reform - they will leave Martian landscape here, so never ever.

I was born in 1979, I think the tories have had enough time to sort it out. My sister in 1980. I don't believe the 'rebrand' under Kemi. How much longer do they need?! Glad we are on the same page regarding the turquoise people - they are utterly disgusting.

I assume that it means that she can access her occupational pension earlier than age 55 but she can't get her state pension until 66 or 67, depending her state pension age.

Depending on how early she is retiring, she will have a smaller pension due to fewer years of contributions. I don't think that she's hit the jackpot really.

It wouldn’t be what I’d have ever wanted to do through working life, but envying them is pointless.

You're working and not scrounging - so take some pleasure from thst.