AIBU to think it's unhealthy to stop all hobbies and socialising during GCSEs

[Sleeptightdisgustingblob]

DD has GCSEs this year, she does dance two evenings a week and has a great group of friends there. Some of them have now said they won't be back at dance till after their GCSEs as they have to stop all their clubs and that they aren't allowed out at all socially either now.

I'm just struggling to understand this approach. I guess maybe it works for some children and I have told DD she just needs to support her friends and respect their parents decision. These are studious sensible girls though, they've worked throughout the two years.

I always kept hobbies, socialising and exercise going all the way through revision leave and exams. Surely it's better for our brains and our mental health not to work 24/7?

My only rule with DD is that we agree a time table for revising and she does her best to stick to it.

I saw friends breaking with stress and exhaustion because they had set punishing schedules , one really bright friend just melted on exam day after endless long days. Maybe that's shading my views a bit

I think it depends on the child. Mine revised during the day and pretty much stopped at 5pm on the dot and carried on all their sports and extra curriculars through. They didn’t socialise much apart from popping out for coffee with local friends for an hour. I wouldn’t have dreamt of telling them to stop doing sport during this period. It is a depressing enough time in the run up to exams. Having an outlet to do exercise and a break was important .

DD continued with all of her extra curriculars. It wasn't ideal but she hated school and her mental health was very fragile so we decided that keeping her balanced gave her the best chance.
If we'd kept her in to study she would have refused to engages, spiralled and self harmed.
There was a revision timetable. We required some time sitting at her desk every day.
She did ok. Not stellar, but enough to move on.

My parents made me drop everything by Xmas of y11. They didn't fund anything but I snuck out to school orchestra and choir.
I was hugely resentful of their position and didn't want that for DD.

Teacher here. GCSEs started this week. We have one kid out because they dislocated their knee while at dance class. Just depends whether you think the risk outweigh the benefits. I know what their mom now thinks.

Agree. I definitely belong in the high achiever box and I kept hobbies going throughout exams

You had study leave and wouldn't be at school at this point. These kids are at school all day and are then doing their own revision in the evenings. If two of those evenings a week are taken up with dancing then that can be quite stressful for them given how few free hours they have in the day compared to how many you did at this point.

It’s not something I would choose for my children, and like you I’m surprised that anyone would choose to give up everything and just revise, but people are different and kids have different personalities I suppose.

My eldest has just done his year 10 mocks over the last 2 weeks (but is at a super selective school so they actually really matter), and he opted to skip one swim training session and one athletics. Other than that he kept up his usual daily training sessions (various sports) and even went to a week long residential training camp 3 weeks before the exams started. He’s worked steadily, an hour or two each day in the Easter hols (apart from the training camp), and 2ish hours of revision each afternoon / evening during the exams. He still has managed to do 8 hours of swim training, 2 hours of athletics, 4 hours of his focus sport, and 3 hours of cricket per week plus training at home on his bike and going out for a couple of runs here and there. His school did tell the boys that they should be spending every non-school minute revising, but we advised him that physical and mental well being is still important and to carry on going to his sports as much or as little as he wanted to. He chose to mostly carry on as normal and we supported him in that.

My daughter dances 5-6 days a week. I think it's likely she'll want to drop some of this in her last year as the competition team stuff in particularly is really intense and stressful. Balancing competition dance and exams sounds like a lot. I know the dance school timed their yearly exams around the ages having school exams to avoid too much stress at the same time.

I think there's no right or wrong here though. Maybe these specific children have shown that they're easily distracted. Maybe they have other commitments during the week so they need to pare down a bit. Maybe they have asked for a calmer few weeks to focus and their parents are helping them by being the 'bad guys' . Who knows really. If you and your own child are content with your approach then I hope it all works out as you are anticipating. Other kids need different things.

I was always intensely busy - worked full time while attending university full-time, had friends and a boyfriend (now my husband) and got excellent marks. My brother however has ADHD so he needed a 'lot' more time to first focus, then study, then get distracted, then focus again, then go for a walk, then focus... it took him a lot longer to get through a few hours of studying than it took me. That doesn't mean either of us were 'right' or 'wrong' - we just needed different things.

It depends what degree you are doing. If it is connected in any way to the performing arts they will be interested; and the qualifications also show a high level of commitment and achievement, which can be included on the applicant's personal statement.

I've been on stage with students who are sitting GCSES. It helps them unwind and sleep. If there's a big exam the following morning I think it can be tough but doing classes and hobbies helps keep it all in proportion and definitely helps with sleep.

Well, yes, if you are going in to something related then they may be counted but I know of students who worked hard to gain grade 8 in music and ballet thinking they might be useful in terms of UCAS points only to find they weren't.

It's just something to be aware of.

Plus personal statements are quite different these days, a lot of Universities aren't so interested in extra curricular stuff, it's about your interest in and commitment to the subject you want to study
Again, useful if you are going in to a related field of course.

I work with adults taking their GCSEs (either re-taking or because they missed them), I would NEVER suggest that anyone whether 2 or 102, should stop hobbies to take their GCSEs even around the exam weeks, but I guess maybe it works for some people.

Don't stop. But do massively reduce and prioritise studies.

But have a healthy balance where the DC have something to unwind and break things up in-between exams.

Why? Mine was on a 12 day full time music course days before her final school exams, got all As. Some kids don't need to reduce activities. 'Prioritise' can mean giving the exams and revision its due place. I appreciate not all kids can manage to but they really need to be managing their own workload, with some support if necessary.

Not A*s?

Horses for courses.

Some people can revise while doing other stuff. Some people need to remove distractions.

Neither is wrong or unhealthy.

I do agree OP. Everyone’s different though I guess.

My son has stopped revising entirely for the past 3 weeks 🤦‍♀️. Nothing at home at all. He’s worked really hard for years, did very well on mocks. I am reluctant to make an issue out of it. As an secondary TA I’ve seen too many kids crumble in the exam hall (rabbit in the headlights). My sons the happiest he’s been in ages, singing away each morning. It’s not ideal to be honest just completely stopping but he is going into his exams regulated and calm.

Maybe it's the stick because they haven't been doing what they need to 🤷‍♀️

Really, all kids are different. It may depend on how close they are to a grade boundary. If they need a 4/5 in maths to go to 6th form and they are on the borderline, and they do an extra curricular every night, then their parents may be sensible in advising them to do a couple of hours a week extra maths revision and dropping a hobby on a temporary basis. If however they are predicted all 8/9s, are sensible and don’t have too many extra curriculars going on, then it doesn’t matter hugely if they drop a hobby or not.

My parents stopped me from doing anything. I had a part time job which was my only escape as I lived some distance from school and friends. It was awful. When my kids get to the point I definitely won’t do the same