AIBU to let my DS opt out of sport

[Sportsareanogo]

DS7 flat out refuses to join any kind of organised sport. He likes riding his bike and also swimming during holiday/weekend trips to the pool. He also learns drums.

Friends are appalled that I don’t make him do a sport. Apparently he is missing out on vital skills and life lessons.

AiBu?

I could claim that I've never played a team sport because I'm not sure that being substitute/ dumped in less desirable peripheral positions/ verbally insulted by PE teachers & "team mates" and the endless trudging off to find wayward projectiles really meets the definition of playing "team sport" as there wasn't much team or sport going on and it was just an unpleasant way to waste an hour of school in uncomfortable kit.

However regular activity is essential. My lifeline was dance. I was still shit at that but it was more fun with more movement and fewer insults than taking a hockey stick for a stroll. That lead to fitness classes, then the gym plus social media and smart phones opened up running which contrary to my PE teacher's bellowing wasn't about having to be fast and "failing" when everyone else laps you.

My own DCs have always had activities, but I stayed away from competitive sports for them. DS2 was in a football team for a few years, but he was allowed to follow his interest rather than being driven. The big long term sports/ activities were swimming lessons (DS2 now Rookie Lifeguard for fun, DS1 stopped at end of stage 7), karate and junior parkrun. They also did Scouting which is active, and covers teamwork and life skills and overall they've had a good balance of exercising body and brain. They've also been happy to keep going into the teen years, and DS1 now sets his own goals as part of his DoE award at an age where many young people polarise into very competitive routes with high dropout rates, or into inactivity with fewer opportunities for casual participation sport.

It's important for children to have regular activity that pushes their comfort zone to keep them fit and formal groups/ clubs help with that, but it doesn't have to be competitive/ team sports.

😳

All that team sport ever taught me is that competitiveness is not a trait I possess and that the mob mentality prevails when a team member is not doing well. I have avoided it ever since, don't even want to watch it. Zero interest.

Drama club on the other hand - that was a revelation. There was really something for everyone to do depending on their skills, talents and interests, and there wasn't the bullying I experienced in school sports. I'm still friends 40 years on with many of my drama pals.

All this focus on teamwork - let's not forget that there is value in doing things independently too, be that a sport or an instrument or another interest.

Oh rubbish. Being healthy and active is a key life skill. Team sports, if you're not good at them, especially as a kid are usually an exercise in humiliation and bullying. I teach teens and we have someone in tears most weeks because of the crap they get from the sporty kids fkr fumbling a pass or whatever. OP let him try martial arts, badminton, trampolining if you think he needs more exercise but the team thing is nonsense.