AIBU to feel hurt after my husband admitted feigning support?

[ckm043107]

Over the past five years, I lost both of my parents within a short period of time. Given how close I was to them, I’ve experienced significant and ongoing grief. Recently, my husband told me that he has been pretending to support me during this period. Is it unreasonable for me to feel shocked and upset by this?

@SunnyRedSnail I just didn't understand the need to mention autism. It wasn't at all relevant.

The "no empathy" thing is often weaponised on here. Every time someone posts about what is usually a man failing to provide the expected level of support or making mean comments, etc, someone comes at it with a suggestion of autism. It can feel very tiring as an autistic person, constantly seeing autism being trotted out as a possible explanation for hurtful behaviour on here. I read it in that context and it was just like "oh fgs another one".

I'm sorry if I misread your intention, which it is entirely possible to do on here. I replied as I did not for the sole purpose of being rude, but because I genuinely felt the content of comment was both irrelevant and harmful. But I can appreciate now from what you've put above you were not coming from a place of harmful intent.

I would hope that the tenor of my post would indicate that of course, I have. My mother died fairly young, much sooner than I expected to have to deal with it, and my father died about 7 months ago. It is raw in many ways for a long time. The grief for my father is somewhat more complex but I am fortunate that I am not feeling "Stuck".

One of the things that is helping me is the sense that this is the natural order of things and I am taking my place in a new generation, the older generation of the family, forming new bonds with my siblings and entering a new stage of my own life.

Honestly some people have more natural empathy than others. Your husband offered you comfort and support over the last few years even if privately he thought you should perhaps be over the very raw stage by now . I think the important thing here is that he pretended to make you feel better . I think the only thing he did wrong was to ever tell you.
we have a friend in our circle who is still devastated over a breakup 3 years ago. She wasn't actually with him for long but still
gets teary on nights out etc, we make all the right noises but have agreed that it feels excessive at this stage but pretend so not to upset her further.