Babysitting and the parents have just called me drunk…

[ffsisthisreal]

45 minutes after they were meant to be home, steaming, from a club.

I can see this being a 2/3am job. I’ve got plans tomorrow and they’re family, so I do this for free.

AIBU to be raging?

Well from on you can say no and they can stop expecting it. (Unless you’re prepared to let people walk all over you).

Yes you did!
You could have said “I need to get home by 11.30, so please make sure you’re not back late”.

Why are you okay being treated like dog shit by your own family. If you agreed to babysit unpaid, then I don't see an issue with that if it's your choice, but if you agreed on a time they would be back because you had plans the next day then by not honouring that they are walking all over you. I don't understand how you are "not in a place of authority" to tell them that them staying out longer than agreed isn't okay with you because you have plans the next day. Either you weren't clear with them that you wanted to be home at a certain time and they thought you were cool with it, or you allowed them to treat you poorly.

"Might"? Don't be daft - it's a favour you make plain you will NEVER do for them again.

@ffsisthisreal make sure you set some ground rules (if you don’t tell them ‘never again’ that is).

Next time they ask you could say “I will only babysit in future if you stick to the agree time” and if they pull the same stunt, say “no more”. You are letting them treat you disrespectfully and saying ‘actually my time is worthless’.

If you do carry on, I’d also say they need to pay you up front (and ensure there are snacks/treats in the house for you). And be clear that paying you still doesn’t mean they can take the mick with turning up late!

Glad you're home now.
How were they when they eventually got home?

People seem to be missing that they didn't ask if you were OK with them staying out longer, they told you they were going to have another drink.

Also it 'only' ended up being an hour later than agreed, but that wasn't what OP was aware of at the time, just that they were staying out later. No return time had been mentioned

You assume wrong. OP said she was not being paid.

I think there are very few if any babysitters, paid or unpaid, who would babysit for a family while the parents go on a night out and then tell the parents when they got home that they were too drunk and stay the night. You’re being ridiculous.

That's incredibly rude. I remember my auntie's friend asking me to watch her two kids when I was about 15, I wasn't really doing anything so said ok and she said she'd give me a fiver or something. They were in bed and I was just watching TV, which I'd have been doing at home. She said she'd be back by midnight. She wasn't, and didn't phone to let me know either. I didn't babysit for her again. When someone is doing you a favour it's not on to just take a lend of them and do what you like. Saying 'do you mind if x' changes the entire tone of it and is completely different and a grown adult can manage that fundamental level of respect.

Why do people have a far higher level of expectation of the OP than the other two adults who are the actual parents?

omg. this just reminded me and made me laugh. about 3 years ago , my husband had flown to canada to see our daughter and sons for a week. I was sitting at home when a god awful loud fart ripped out; blamed the dogs, but it was seriously loud and I had never heard our dogs fart like that. no smell..thank god. then 5 minutes later another. I was seriously freaked out as both dogs were sat right at my feet at the dining room table and it came from the living room... yep arsehole husband was teaching my grands how to make alexa fart long distance (he was taking over my alexa 4000 miles away lol)

My DD does this to me, I'm happy to babysit because she's a single parent and needs a life, but she really does take the p*ss. She says 10.30 and then calls at 11.00 to say she's leaving soon, but often is not home until 12 or later even if she's somewhere local.
I don't want to refuse to do it.

Is it just me that read the title as meaning the parents accused you of being drunk? 😁

I’d just go to sleep 🤷‍♀️

@ffsisthisreal what would happen if you said no to any more free babysitting? Are you scared of your family? Why do they expect you to help out and think it’s ok to come back much later than agreed? You need to stand up for yourself and refuse to babysit ever again.

Why? What’s wrong with saying I won’t babysit again unless you’re home by 10.30? Don’t be such a mug!

Well you're teaching her to not take responsibility. You're letting her down as a parent. And no, she does not 'need a life' she can do that when her kids are adults. She needs to be a parent, not out on the piss like a teenager. You aren't helping her. The sooner you put your foot down and say no more, the sooner she will be forced to grow up and become a responsible parent.

Dont babysit for them again

Sleep over at theirs, don’t wait up.

Get into their PJs, get into their bed and go to sleep. That’ll teach them

You're way late, she's already home. If you click on the link it takes you only to the OP's posts in this thread.

Babysitting and the parents have just called me drunk… | Mumsnet

OP, really you should not be babysitting for free and they have taken a liberty but not paying you. My daughter used to babysit when she was younger for someone close. When she told them she didn’t want any money, they bought her a voucher.

Really not sure why people allow themselves to be treated like this. It’s simple, if this is the first time they have done this, then your decision not to babysit again should be based on whether you want to take the chance they’ll do it again and if so, be very, very clear that if there’s a repeat of any CF behaviour it will be the last time. If they have form, then you refuse to babysit again. And they should be paying you. Family or not, they taking the piss by expecting you to do it for free. If they can afford to stay out getting hammered, they can afford to pay you for your time.

Same I was reading the title that way lol

She's 40, very responsible, full time job, two adopted children and is a foster carer. She deserves a break.

I think the op knows she doesn’t have to babysit for them again! I certainly wouldn’t.