AIBU to feel deflated after payday despite a decent salary?

[Wtfisisfor]

Do you ever just get paid and think seriously is this it… I got paid this morning 3100 was put into my account, I transferred 1400 to the joint for bills and household expenses. And I’m left with the rest, but when I look at it, I just think, is this it? Anyone else? Just feeling a bit defeated today! I know to some people this is a lot of money. But these days it really doesn’t feel like it. Come and join for a moan

How old is your info? This used to be the case two decades ago. There might be still a few partners in their late 50s who spent their entire working life with one employer who are still in DB, but it was closed to new entrants long time ago.

This is what I always remind myself of!

No, no unreasonable.

I have been sahm until 3 years ago when I retrained in finance related qual in my 40s, have now 2 part time jobs and have started my own ltd co. and have two clients already...and my dh and I have been working out the ridiculously complicated tax affairs i will now have! It do now understand how it feels like tax is a real punishment for earning more and working more.

That said, if we have food to eat, we are better off than millions of people. And however much we earn, we always want more, so I get both sides really. But am annoyed by tax!

I mean, it’s a problem of your own making. You were the one who had kids etc knowing your level of income. Things were always going to be tight.

I’m in my 20s and earn £1400 per week after all HMRC deductions etc. But to get here I had to work hard and become an expert in my field, I haven’t had kids yet bc I don’t feel ready to give them the lifestyle that I want to yet. I feel comfortable but not that comfortable enough. Obviously you looked at your finances at the time and decided differently, it’s a calculated risk you took and here you are.

It’s interesting that no one knows what the OP’s job is, but so many are convinced that they ought to be nothing but terribly GRATEFUL for the £1,700 they have left after bills each month.

It goes back to this idea that people aren’t really linking the remuneration with the job - all they focus on is the figure itself, in a very binary way. The whole argument is “well I earn that much” or “ I earn even less than than that and I’m perfectly happy so why aren’t you, give your head a shake!”.

Maybe the OP is underpaid. Maybe that feeling of deflation comes from knowing that opportunities to progress are limited. Maybe they aren’t where they thought they would be at their age/level of experience. There are so many ways to break it down as to why that salary could feel deflating.

When you’re coming onto social media to humble brag about it I think you should at least be a little mindful.

For you, that’s nice.

For me, that is responsible for literally millions of pounds of revenue and the accountability the comes with it, more money has definitely resulted in more stress.

Yes, my employer closed the DB scheme to everyone over 20 years ago. Some older employees have part of their pension in the old scheme, but all contributions (employer and employee) for existing and new employees have gone into the DC scheme since then. No one is retiring on a fixed pension of anywhere close to 1/2 pay; everyone is exposed to market risks on their pension investments and replicating the side benefits of public sector pensions like index-linking and spousal survivor's pensions via the annuity market is prohibitively expensive.

If we didn’t pay tax how would there be roads, prisons, police, education for the masses, free emergency and other healthcare, reasonably priced prescriptions, pensions, support for people with disabilities . It would be anarchy and millions would be destitute. I know it’s all been underfunded, and the privatised services haven’t invested enough to maintain infrastructure (so I suspect the taxpayer will have to bail out). But we live in a pretty good society - maybe not the best but it’s far better than most countries around the world. Tax isn’t all bad! Personally I’d rather pay more and have better services but it’s a collective effort or there’s no point.

Those that can pay more, it’s not a given that high earnings go to those who work hardest.

@Theolittle "Personally I’d rather pay more and have better services"

Lots of people say this, but there have been increases in taxation (and there are more to come that have already been pre-announced for the next few years) and services aren't getting any better. This is the conundrum for the govt.

I think when the definition of “humblebrag” means “posting about your life, your anxieties, your disappointments when you’re not on the bones of your arse” the expression loses all meaning.

Not any more. It’s a DC scheme with up to 8% max employer contribution. The legacy scheme was good but I don’t think it’s been open for years and it is now a dodo. DB schemes in the private sector are rare as rocking horse shit fur good reason.

Personally I’d rather pay more and have better services but it’s a collective effort or there’s no point.

Any of us can make a voluntary payment to HMRC whenever we choose.

And I agree it’s a collective effort which is precisely why worklessness should not be an option for those who are well.

But that’s not what OP is doing, is it? They’re saying sending £700 to savings and dropping £250 on a birthday present is annoying them. Most people would KILL to be able to do that. I’d love to spend £250 on my mom for her birthday. I save £25 a month so I can afford their Christmas and birthday presents. When you’re genuinely struggling it comes across very differently to see someone complaining about this sort of thing.

Absolutely and I’ve just looked up the numbers. It cost Deloittes 700m to buy out the surviving pensioners on the DB scheme even though it’s so historic I’d imagine they’re mostly dead.

Now extrapolate that number to every single person in the public sector for a terrifying glimpse of the amount of literal shit the UK is in.

I agree that worklessness should not be an option for those that are well, but it does depend on people having skills that make them employable. There are lots of people that struggle with life and aren’t as able as others - it’s not their fault they just don’t have the abilities that others have been lucky enough to be blessed with.

An ‘expert in your field’ and yet utterly clueless about life. The cost of living has rocketed in the past decade and tax thresholds have frozen. A salary that would have been excellent a few years ago, is now mediocre in terms of what it affords.

I think its pretty universal isnt it? To watch at least half your wages 'disappear' right after payday!
If it is half then frankly you are winning, if its more as long as you can afford to live for the month then you are doing fine....if all your wages disappear and then some you are screwed.

It does suck but if your bills are sorted (and in my case you do a big monthly food shop) at least you can sit back knowing that all your major expenses are sorted now.

Oh behave, OP. You are saving £1000 a month! Why don’t you not save anything for one month a year and have a blow out on yourself.

They said at this point they expected to have more, and they were feeling down about how little you get for your money these days.

To take the first point, not everyone’s expectations are the same. They will depend on all sorts of things, including age, qualifications, experience, location… A 20 year qualified actuary in London will have different expectations to a not long out of school teaching assistant in Leeds. That isn’t a judgment on anyone, it is just reality. What we expect to be able to earn, and from that, the sort of life we expect to be able to lead is massively determined by all of those factors (and more). You can’t say whether the OP is being reasonable or unreasonable without knowing the detail on that.

On the second part - we can all see that we are not getting as much for our money anymore. From people at the lowest income level, to people earning hundreds of thousands, everyone is thinking WTF - my money is not going as far as I feel like it should.

Yes that absolutely hits people on low income the hardest, but for people on higher incomes who were chasing a life they wanted to lead, they are also feeling a bit screwed, and might be questioning whether the investment in time, education, effort etc was all worthy, because it doesn’t seem to be paying off in the way they imagined.

That feeling is deflating. People are feeling they were sold a dream that doesn’t exist, or at least - is pulling out of sight faster than they can chase it. I can sympathise with that feeling.

Plenty of work for unskilled people from where I’m sitting. Cleaning, mowing lawns, making sandwiches, retail, etc. Not liking them apples = / = not “blessed” with any ability to earn a living.

Lacking skills is not the same as being unable to work. I’ve worked since I was 14 and have done all of the above jobs.

One way to have more would be not allowing lifestyle creep. £2,800 a month is a lot of outgoings.

There will always be posters who get cross that you’re not happy with 50p a month after bills, that you’re “tone deaf” or “entitled”. The reality is that if you work hard and full time, are well-qualified and professional, of course you’re within your rights to feel frustrated that there’s not a lot to show for that. Doing the same job in Australia I was earning 40% more. Cost of living was high but wages have kept pace better so people are still incentivised to work hard and progress their careers. Here you get so strangled with cliff-edge tax brackets that stagnation becomes inevitable. It made more sense for me to reduce my hours after a pay rise to avoid a net loss in quality of life. That is fiscal madness.

No one who started in the last 20 years will (at least not at pwc but would expect the others too)

But isn’t lifestyle creep sort of the point?

I wanted to earn more money because I could see that more money brings more comfort and more choice. Money brings a house in which everyone has space, to be together or to be apart! Money allows that house to be in an area that might be safer or more convenient. Money allows you to pay for extra curricular activities for your children, or to take a holiday together, maybe more than one a year! Money lets you pay someone else to do a job that frees up your time to spend with family.

Lifestyle creep is literally the reward you give yourself for earning more money, to Improve your quality of life.