AIBU to feel deflated after payday despite a decent salary?

[Wtfisisfor]

Do you ever just get paid and think seriously is this it… I got paid this morning 3100 was put into my account, I transferred 1400 to the joint for bills and household expenses. And I’m left with the rest, but when I look at it, I just think, is this it? Anyone else? Just feeling a bit defeated today! I know to some people this is a lot of money. But these days it really doesn’t feel like it. Come and join for a moan

All I can say is I wish I was as deflated as you on payday and as poor as you too.

That “unnecessary discretionary spending” is part of having a “good lifestyle” though no? Unless by “good lifestyle” you mean “pay for essentials easily”?

Yes, paying for my family of 3 to live. It’s an option for most able bodied people you know. Do better, make better life choices, gain qualifications, earn more. Then we can all pay more tax. Instead, the middle earners pay more, whilst those not bothering to do the above claim more. But woe betide any one moans about it.

I would agree with those who say the issue is probably less the money but how you view it and how you spend it. It's worth reviewing your saving and spending goals. And what do you really feel is a treat for you?
I recommend a (short) book called Frugal Hedonism.

Surely questions of social responsibility should first be addressed to the millions of able-bodied adults in the UK who choose not to work, or deliberately game the UC system by limiting their hours? The top 1% of earners already pay about 30% of all income tax, so they are actually doing more than their fair share rather than being self-centred.

There are of course personal benefits to a well-paid job - although I am at a point where I'd experience more "personal growth" if I could spend extra time with my disabled DS and feel less frazzled. Most senior professional and managerial roles - with the possible and partial exception of medicine - are simply not compatible with PT working.

I might think that the trade off is worth it if I get to receive (say) 70% of any salary uplift, but when the amount I am allowed to "keep" shrinks every year because of fiscal drag and inflation, when there is absolutely no incentive to correct the 62% marginal rate even though it's nonsensical and raises no money, and when absolutely everyone thinks the only people who deserve to be clobbered with tax are all the people who earn more than them, working at this level becomes much less attractive.

The main difference between UK and mainland Europe when it comes to income tax is around the basic taxation level, not the higher rates. The rates of tax on average earners are higher in Europe because (unlike here) they realise that these workers form the critical mass and there are not enough higher earners to keep everyone afloat.

I'm referring to some of the things posters on this thread are choosing to pay for them complaining about, e.g. VAT on school fees. Putting large sums of money into savings monthly then saying they only have £1700 left to play with. Those kinds of things. They are a choice and not obligatory.

But savings pretty much a necessity? You are fairly screwed if you lose your job and have none. Not everybody wants to turn to the state.

But the point is it’s contradictory to mention a “good lifestyle” but then recommend shifting spending away from things that deliver a “good lifestyle”.

Anyway OP wasn’t saying how broke she was - but how deflated she was. It is fairly depressing to get to a level you imagined you would have a very nice lifestyle at…and then realising oh, the money doesn’t actually go that far and you have to budget carefully.

But you’re almost disregarding the savings amount here, there are very few people who are in a luxurious position to save £700 a month!! In the kindest of ways please think about how entitled you might feel, I say this as it’s helped me reframe a lot of situations, I used to have a starting point that I kind of felt I deserved things or things ‘should’ be a certain way, when I dropped that mind set I feel a lot more gratitude and have better perspective on things. That’s not to say expect the bare minimum from life but yeah I guess practicing gratitude. To put things into perspective maybe, I earn a bit more than you by the looks of it, work very hard (I’m sure you do too) am a single mum to two kids and I have pennies left at the end of each month if I’m lucky, you have quite a bit of ‘pocket money’ and are in a household where you guys are saving circa £17k a year! The more I type the more annoyed I feel about you complaining here sorry 😂 get a grip

No - but they’re examples of things I need money for but aren’t necessarily in my bills budget so the £1700 I have left over, isn’t purely money to save for a holiday or stuff into my pension or an investment account.

I appreciate some of these things are not what I could afford when I earned £1200 a month when I was younger but I didn’t have a garden so didn’t need plants, or a mower to service or a dog so didn’t need a walker and my dad wasn’t old and he treated me then rather the the other way round and could have gone home on public transport without me worrying.

I am happy with my life but I think £1700 can disappear on quite small things over the course of a month and for those who can’t imagine it, I’ve listed some stuff.

I don’t fill my 15 year old car up more than once a week, I do feed my dog more expensive food, I don’t go on planes (imagine the cost of the dog care then!) and I do like flowers in my garden.

I’m not profligate and I have a bit more than I did but I don’t feel flush and the money I do have, went a LOT further a few years ago. Same for everyone. It doesn’t have the buying power you think it does, in your head!

And on top of that you’re saving £300 a month for a holiday, can afford a very expensive birthday celebration and can buy £100 worth of kids clothes AND go to yoga, you’re overlooking the things that you’ve listed as almost a necessity

DH and I are saving hard to take care of disabled DS after we die - the services we can access are already virtually non-existent, and the future looks terrifying.

Given the parlous state of the NHS, anyone with the means who isn’t stashing money away now to pay for private appointments or procedures in the future is frankly not paying attention to the direction of travel.

On student loans I do feel for students and I think something should change. HOWEVER a lot of students seem to use loans as a means to run a car, have holidays and weekends away, go to extortionate gigs and festivals, get tattoos, generally have lots of stuff. I had none of these things as a student! So if you have done those things I don’t feel sorry that your take home pay is lower

Can't believe there are people who moan at having £1.7k a month left after paying their bills and mortgage

Jesus fucking christ

Two!

Its worth £15k for a baby in my area.

Same. While I get others may not be able to save - saving is not part of my discretionary income. It’s a necessary requirement. I know people being made redundant who have taken months to find another job. I would be f*cked if that happened to me with no savings.

Absolutely f*cked.

My favourite tax story is the one where I had to hire a nanny at short notice, and of course as an employer I am then liable for employer NI and PAYE. Paid for a company to do that for me. The nanny agreed to a 38k gross FTE salary (in 2016). When she got her payslip, she said I was stealing her money, because I was paying the taxes to the government. I mean, she's not wrong...

The fundings towards two places at nursery can easily far exceed this. The funded hours alone can equate to a reduction of £16,500 per child annually (22 hrs per week pro rated over the year out of 40 hours per week for a full time place which in many areas costs £2.5k per month without funding). Removal of so-called “tax free childcare” is a loss of another £2000 funding per child. Someone paying 62% tax would have to earn £49k more just to break even after losing that funding for ONE child (if they have no student loan, otherwise they need to earn approaching £60k extra just to make back the loss of childcare funding at their enormous tax rates. This means many people cut their hours. The withdrawal of the personal allowance and childcare funding are causing huge economic harm and suppressing productivity, costing far more than they save and therefore LOWERING overall tax revenue.

I have been on the bones of my arse many times over the years and now at 62 I earn a decent wage on paper, very similar to the Op. About a third goes on tax,NI and pension before I get it and then,like the OP 1400 goes into the shared account for bills. Although the dcs are adults they are struggling; one out of work and o ne on a low wage so they both get 200 a month to help with rent and car costs.( you need a car round here!). Fuel has gone up so over £ 50 a week on petrol..another £200. Credit card( interest free) which i had to get to pay for extensive dental work( no NHS dentists locally) so there's another couple of hundred. Etc etc. I KNOW I am lucky to be able to pay these things and I have been in that place looking down the back of the sofa or in jacket pockets looking for money to buy food but like the Op,it is disheartening to have worked all your life and still living frugally.

I think you’re being unreasonable. I come home with 3600 have approx 7-800 left each month. You have an extra £1k and a husband. I’m a widow with two kids. Sorry can’t sympathise.’

If £1700 disappears every month you’ve got a spending problem.

So what?
how is this relevant to OP's post or to the poster who lost 71% of her bonus in taxes? you choose your career knowing the pay might be lower but pension is fantastic. There aren't many people in private sector, if any at all, who'd get pension equal to 50% of their final salary.

Most people who work for the big four will. The Deloittes pension makes public sector pensions look pathetic.

You actually have a very good disposable income. What you have has disposable is nearly my monthly income. After my bills etc. are paid, I have about £500 left and ths has to cover everything for me and for my children. So in hindsight, that’s not bad. You also are able to save and have savings. I have no income to put away. Just to put into perspective for you, this isn’t bad at all

Feel conflicted over this, I also got paid about that this morning, have got to keep back about £1600 for bills. The rest is “mine” but out of that I have to take food, petrol, pay for DD’s dance and clubs, try and save something for Christmas and birthdays, try and put something away for emergencies. It all feels like constant “being careful”. There was a time when I couldn’t have imagined earning that, but I don’t feel well off at all.

Part of me feels like it’s a lot of money, then when it’s approaching payday and I’m playing freezer bingo I’m not so sure. Part of me wishes I had someone to share the bills with, but I left an abusive relationship so I know there are worse things than paying the mortgage on your ones.

But then again sometimes I’ll do things like buy designer sunglasses on Klarna and spend the next three months asking why I did that?! Hey, at least there’s no one to tell me off for doing that.

@loislovesstewie You may have made a contribution to your pension, but nowhere near what your pension is worth and what you are now receiving. A huge part of your pension comes out of general taxation. For example, if you were a teacher you would have been contributing about 10% into your teachers pension, but your employer - the taxpayer - would have also been contributing another 30% (compared to the 3% that most private sector employers contribute). This is a huge extra contribution. So you didn't get bonuses when you were working, but you are receiving bonuses now in the form of a pension way in excess of your contributions.

Both my parents worked in the public sector and go on about how they deserve their pension because they paid into it all their lives - but they paid in nowhere near what they are taking out (now in their 30th year of receiving 1/2 pay indexed linked).