AIBU to apologise after DH barked at the neighbour's dog?

[Greyblankie]

Last year the neighbour behind us got a small dog. It yaps.

Anyway DH has been complaining to me about this irritating dog ever since she got it and admittedly it is very annoying but what can you do? It’s during the day and it’s not constant.

He’s been away with work for 3 days and has come back grumpy and tired - last night he went outside to check on his plants and the dog started yapping. DH went absolutely bonkers, started running up and down the fence barking and snarling like a dog until the woman came out and hastily took her dog back inside. Mortified!! I know he was tired but Jesus he was acting like a psychopath

Hes back at work today and she’s sat outside in the sun - do I pop my head over and apologise/explain or leave it and assume we’re no longer on good terms 😬

It's not for you to apologise. Your DH could apologise for his reaction, which in a way shows that the dog's yapping is not good.

I wouldn't apologise on his behalf, no.

If he does it again though you could spray some water on his nose and tell him he's a bad dog.

No but we all have our limits.

He was in his own garden. What does it matter, it’s highly unlikely anyone but his wife saw. Maybe a couple of neighbours heard him and most likely many of them were also TeamDH

The people with the barking dog should be the ones apologising. Yappy dogs are the worst - train your dog!!!

Because it’s not mentally healthy and shows an inability to control his elations and actions.

What happens next time when it’s some you kids in another garden and he starts screaming and shouting at them? Is that ok?

The only reason people are voting its ok, is certain elements of Mumsnet hate dogs. The actions of the DH here are concerning on many different levels

I'd send DP round if he'd done something so silly, and I'd send a quick info sheet on how to counter condition to noises to stop the barking too.

Likely she's trying to stop it and doesn't know how, your DH reacting has probably made things much much worse.

It is fairly simple to fix - the owner needs to take the dog out and supervise every time, and pair reward with every. single. noise outside until the dogs emotional response to external noises alters and then they can fade out the consistent reward for a more irregular reward. Best done with the dog on a long line so if they've wound themselves up to the point of not noticing rewards they can be taken in without any shouting/chasing.

Done right it takes a couple of weeks to make a significant difference (ie to get to where its less effort for the owner) though from the POV of someone living next door, barking should reduce very quickly.

Meh. Wouldn’t bother apologising tbf. Dogs barking are annoying.

🤣 I really enjoyed this, thank you for the laugh.

Agree you shouldn’t apologise for him OP. It sounds pretty effective.

Agree Id be really, really concerned if my DP acted like this and would be ultra alert for signs of him being more unstable.

I’m very much looking forward to the neighbours mn thread “neighbour barked manically at my DDog”.

I’m more worried about you OP. He sounds unhinged. If her dog barks and she brings it in then that’s all that can be done. She’s not being negligent and his reactions was really strange and will only make the dog barks more as it will have seen his behaviour as threatening.

I don't see why DH should apologise because your neighbour is too lazy to train her dog.

I used to live next to a couple with a yappy dog. Houses were on a main street and the owners would leave the dog in the main living area. It would stare out the window all day yapping at everyone walking along the street, which was constant. Annoying as fuck. I have zero sympathy for your neighbour.

Has she apologised for leaving her dog outside to bark? She probably does so because it barks inside too and gets on her nerves. That’s her problem though and it shouldn’t be for her neighbours to suffer for her annoying dog. I wouldn’t be apologising- hopefully. It’s up to your DH to decide if he feels he owes an apology, not you. Yappy dogs are irritating as fuck.

You're not his owner. Leave him be

Your husband is a fucking asshat and he should apologize. Who the fuck terrifies small dogs like that.

Now every time the dog gets a sniff of him, the dog will go nuts.

How realistic did your dh’s barking and snarling sound, op? With any luck your neighbour will just have thought you had a visiting dog in your garden.

Exactly! The DH was tired and obviously very short-tempered. The dog yaps but it’s not owned by an idiot as OP tells us the owner gets it straight in when it barks. Someone said “Ooh, so why didn’t she get it straight in this time then?” but the answer to that is clear: the dog was distracted and threatened by DH acting like a madman, running around snarling and barking. So, it took the poor owner longer to get the dog in.

I’d be mortified if that was my DH. What next? Getting home tired and mimicking a screaming toddler by standing in the rose border having a tantrum? Mimicking some primary school children playing in their garden by putting on a baby voice and joining in? So embarrassing for a grown man. Worrying too.

As an aside, his stupid immature display will probably make the dog bark more not less the next time you’re in the garden - because it thinks there’s a mad twat next door! So a silly, self-defeating act from him.

I’d send DH round to apologise himself, blame it on stress and greet the dog in a friendly manner. It’s more likely it won’t bark at him then.

Has anyone mentioned cafes yet? 🤔 😂

In a world with Google, she hasn't tried very hard if she doesn' know how.

I wouldn't dream of apologising for him.
Yapping/ barking dogs are noise pollution.

Unless she's his mother she shouldn't be apologising for a grown man whatever the situation is

This is the best thing. Except if he's acting like it never happened he's not going to go & apologise is he?!

Any excessive noise from neighbours is annoying. Will he jump around screaming at kids playing next? I’d think he was a complete dickhead if I lived next door or, worse, was married to him.

😂 I love this tread! Would have loved to see this!

I have a spaniel, also yappy and reactive. He barks at squirrels, cats, birds, aéroplanes. We take him back inside every single time. We do not allow him in the garden unless accompanied and on the leash between 7pm and 7am so that he won’t bark when neighbours can reasonable hope for quiet.

We’ve followed these rules all the time, for 7 years, since we got him. Still he yaps. What is your training secret please because I would love a quieter dog, especially in the warmer months, when it would be great to be able to potter quietly in the garden with a peaceful dog beside you. Not one that is going off its head at every passing aeroplane !

It's the dog owner that's to blame and is the asshat here for having an ill disciplined dog.

My 8 year old daughter is terrified of dogs due to poorly discplined dogs barking and trying to pounce on her from a young age. If this dog is terrified good. It needs to be knocked down a peg or two and the owner a proverbially kick up the arse.