Child pulling a fast one ??

[Happypomegranates]

My son had a head bump at school today , he is 12. School checked him, no mark but quite a bump with another child. He told them he felt a bit unsteady ( that’s not a word he would use I imagine he’s said dizzy ) so they advised going to hospital. He was checked over and all fine , but they said if he gets any symptoms on the leaflet go straight back. I think this is just standard head bump advice.

Now , he will do anything for a day off school. Always has , no issues at school he’s a good boy , lots of friends , never no crying about going etc but he will quite regularly say he has a tummy ache or feels sick - nothing that a “ you’ll be ok “ can’t fix , goes into school happily. But , he just prefers to be off. If anyone expresses concern over anything ( for eg if we ask if he’s ok , looks pale - even if he’s been ok he will then all of a sudden be ill ) .. basically , I know him and I was also the same as a child myself - if he can get a day off he will . I have been at work and he’s had a nice afternoon with Dad , playing etc - been fine! As soon as I walked in he said he had started to feel dizzy. He looks fine and when he is genuinely unwell you can tell because he’s off his food , not playing his games etc . Dizziness isn’t a symptom to look out for on the info sheet , it’s more being drowsy, sick , loss of consciousness, confusion.

I do think he thinks that if he has to go back to hospital then we will be there late and he will be off tomorrow . I also suspect symptoms may appear in the morning . I have taken the sheet and hid it so he can’t see what are alarming symptoms.

AIBU to not head to the hospital and use my own judgement ? I don’t want to make out he’s lying and I don’t believe him and I would hate for something to be wrong and I do nothing but I really feel this may be him pulling a bit of a fast one and he has been seen by a doctor who has said he is ok.

The advice you were given by the hospital is standard head injury advice.

it’s possible for injuries to the brain to show after 24-48 hours which is why they tell you to come back if you get any of those symptoms as brain injury is obviously serious.

You do need to get him seen. It’s probably a temporary brain injury (also known as comcussion) but head bumps can cause permanent brain injuries.

sorry.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/head-injury-and-concussion/

Are you happy to take the risk?

Surely if he's fibbing he'll stop as soon as he realises you're going to take him to A&E and sit there for hours?

I get where your coming from in terms of he likes a day off but to be totally honest I’d still him to be sure.
Does he really want to sit in A&E for hours? No probs not, his reaction to that may be telling

Tell him he can't take his phone to A&E as you're worried that staring at his phone might make his headache worse, and see if he suddenly seems fine!

I'm with you. If he is drowsy or being sick or light sensitive etc then yes, I'd take him back. But not for what he's said and how he's acting.

I might try this now actually , his phone. He’s watching TV , but still on his phone. However, I don’t really want to say no TV or phone though in case he goes to sleep , I don’t really want him going to sleep yet , I was planning on letting him have a bit of a later bedtime so I’m keeping him awake as long as possible .

This is the thing - I know him and I know when he’s poorly. He keeps chatting and giggling fine and then it’s like he remembers and he says “ I’m still dizzy “ .

Yes he does 🤣 he loves it !

We had an incident recently where we were out walking , it was windy , and all of a sudden he started crying and said his eye felt weird and he rubbed it and he said he couldn’t see properly out of it , it was blurry. He was wearing contacts . I think wind got in his face , he rubbed it and his contact came out - he said it felt like it moved. I panicked a little and wondered if it had dislodged . We spent hours at A and E - at which point he was fine . The doctors checked and said it needed to be an eye doctor so we would could either wait or go the next day. So he was off the next day, we then went the next day ( hours again ) at which point he was fine and loving his day off . He was checked , we were told a contact lens can’t get lost and it was 100% not in his eye so must have fell out . They said his eye was fine. As we were leaving he started crying saying it was hurting . Then I had a chat about what we would do after school the next day and he declared that he was all of a sudden absolutely fine 🤣

He absolutely would , yes , if it meant a day off school .

No , of course. But at what point do I stop taking him back ? If we go tonight and all is fine , then tomorrow he’s dizzy again ?

So he has been checked, but you think he will want to go back again?
Yeah I think you ignore that. The only thing I would do is mention it to his form tutor in case anything happens at school (I work in a primary school and we had a child have a nose bleed. As they hadn't had one before we did call home on this occasion which was just as well, as unknown to us the child had a fall the day before at home and been taken to hospital and checked, but told to return if anything like a nose bleed etc happened).

He doesn’t have any of these symptoms though . He says “ I still feel dizzy “ but this is why he went to the hospital , because - as has been clarified more now - he bumped heads with another child and they asked him “ do you feel dizzy or anything ? “ and he said yes . He was completely fine in himself when he went , was checked over .

I would tell him he can have the day off and not bother with a& e unless he starts showing worrying symptoms. It's awful all round to waste their time just to get a day off. He needs to learn this before he becomes a hypochondriac. There are people with actual serious issues needing a&e.

Also to add, does he know the boy who cried wolf story? If he carries on making a fuss over small ailments there is a good chance one day when he does get properly hurt you won't believe him.

I don’t want to give him the day off , unnecessarily. The hospital said he is fine to go to school just to let them know to keep a closer eye on him for 48 hours. I have been really strict since starting secondary as I work full time and Nan did the school runs in primary and he would quite easily get days off by saying he was ill and Nan taking him to the doctors ( thinking she was doing what was best ) but it affected his attendance . I am very strict now and always say “ if you’re ill , they will send you home “ unless I can tell he’s genuinely unwell. I fear if I do it now it will become a thing and he will know what to say at school when he has head bump, to get time off .

I hate sounding so negative but I really want him to have good attendance and do well at school

Your 12 year old started crying about his eye? When there was clearly absolutely nothing wrong, just to get a day off? I cannot remember the last time my 12 year old son cried. Same with his older brother. That’s really not normal. A 12 year old boy crying in his way out of hospital, whinging about a sore eye when literally nothing happened other than his contact falling out… it’s weird.

Have you actually talked to him about this behaviour? Boy who cried wolf and all of that? And also just how pathetic that behaviour is?

Sounds like the symptoms haven't changed from when he went before ... he was dizzy before and was fine and is still dizzy...nothing has changed since going to a&e. That would make me wait for a change in symptoms

Concussion management involves no screen, give the injured brain some rest. Dark room and lots of sleep.

I wouldn’t trifle with a head injury and I would have kept my child resting - yours seems to have been doing a lot.

Get it checked out by a healthcare professional and stop letting him access screens/books for a few days if he’s diagnosed with a concussion.

Google SIS:

„Secondary impact trauma" generally refers to two distinct, severe conditions depending on the context: Second Impact Syndrome (SIS) (physical brain injury) or Secondary Traumatic Stress(psychological trauma). SIS is a rare, often fatal, rapid brain swelling occurring when a second concussion happens before a first is healed.

As it’s a head injury I’d go back. It’s always the one time you don’t go it’s something

None of that is relevant. The only question is, even though you believe he is making it up, are you willing to take the risk?

It is normal for 12 year old boys and adult men to cry. Everyone cries sometimes, there's nothing weird about it.

I'd take him to get checked out but also be firm that he goes to school tomorrow regardless of the time you get home tonight unless the hospital find an issue

Yes good on you, parenting isn't easy and you sound like a great mum. He seems to enjoy the concern and attention he receives when ill though, which imo is a bit worrying .

Clearly , as he had a contact in and then didn’t have one in , something did happen. It scared him and hurt - eyes are very sensitive. My point was that it seemed to clear up but he was still insisting something was up because he wanted the day off. That was my point . He’s 12, a child , nothing wrong with a 12 year old child crying it’s not weird or pathetic .