What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

This is something that plays on my mind still all these years later and my absolute biggest regret .

I was young - 18/19 . I had a friend who at the time was my best friend. I met another group of friends and introduced her to them and in that group was a boy I had a crush on and she ended up getting together with him ( I never told her I had a crush , so she did absolutely nothing wrong. ) she lost her virginity to him , was very much in love. I ended up cheating with him. He pursued me , I should have been a good friend and avoided him and told her, but I was selfish and I convinced myself that we were some kind of love story - it was quite common knowledge amongst the friendship group and we would sneak off together loads. Everyone in the group saw her as moody - realisticly , she was shy. I did nothing to change the view . We didn’t have sex , but we did everything else.

I drifted away from the group for a while and I went and had a relationship and child and a few years later when my relationship ended , I began speaking to the group again and he contacted me immediately- this time , they were split up ( as far as I knew , his friends told me ) I then slept with him a few times and it tapered off. I then found out he had been seeing another girl too . A few years after that , she got in contact , she had had children with him and was still with him , I don’t think she knew . She seemed to be trying to catch up and re establish the friendship , then one day she just disappeared from fb - I think I was blocked . This point , I imagine she had found out. I saw her in the street once a few years after that and she completely blanked me. I don’t blame her. I should have been honest from the start , I shouldn’t have done it , I should have warned her. I imagine he’s cheated lots , I often wonder if they’re still together and what pain she has been through because of him and it genuinely does haunt me.

About 5 years ago my husband cheated , it was the worst pain I have ever experienced and it still affects me . I do believe it was karma .

Biggest regret of my life and I hate the person I was when I did it.

DHs best friend had an affair 10 years ago. It’s just come to light. I’d imagine he thought it was beyond discovery. Nicely filed away. However it has bitten him squarely on the arse.

Its the length of time of the tarnish that we can never imagine in the moment I think.

I did so many stupid things between 14 & 24. My kids are astonishingly straight laced. Maybe it’s because they were born and raised outside the UK. And the fact that you are never free from permanent proof nowadays.

When we sold our first house, a man bought it who was going to rent it out. He didn't have anyone lined up to rent it but at the last minute there was a delay because the woman selling her house to us couldn't move out without her daughter's help and she,was called away with work. She asked to delay for a week after exchanging contracts for completion.
We said we could do that but the man buying our house said he would only do it if we knocked a thousand pounds off (he was paying £60k, 25 years ago) for one week's delay.
We decided to move in with my Mum for a week instead and put everything we owned in her garage.

....as we left my DH drove the van away. I locked up and dropped the keys at the estate agent. They were really good friends with him (they did a lot of business with him), so I asked if they needed anything else from me. They said, 'No'.

So I didn't give them the alarm code and he had to pay to have it reset. He asked us to pay for it but our solicitor told him to jog on.

Aren't you kind of repeating it again with this thread?

I was a complete bitch all through my 20s. I was completely corroded with bitterness / anger / envy and took it out on others.

It was a result of unresolved trauma but that was absolutely no excuse.

Or maybe they just haven't told you!

I only say that because mine are well behaved and then sometimes I think "Oh wait ..."

In primary school, I regularly used to sneak into the cloakroom where the packed lunches were kept and steal chocolate bars from other kids boxes. Over thirty years ago now and I still have no idea why I did it.

I had a friend who ghosted me out of the blue and it completely devastated me as we were really close. She would literally blank me in the street. She was the first to buy a house and get married from our friendship group, and was always telling us how lucky she was that she had the perfect life. Sometimes if I'm having a bad day I go the long way home to look at her house. The fences have all collapsed, there are weeds everywhere, and there's a broken trampoline in the front garden. It's a complete shithole and it always cheers me up.

So so many, 95% of these were related to me when I’d been drinking, I’ve now been sober for over 3 years, done a lot of apologising and can almost go to sleep feeling slightly less guilty

Please please please stop being ashamed of yourself. She was a vile bully and you sound really sensitive and nice.

The OP is saying she wished she had managed it differently. She wasn’t trying to ruin anyone’s life - she was talking about it on an anonymous forum. Ruining someone’s life would be making up untrue allegations about them to intentionally get them into trouble not posting about a situation on an anonymous forum (as people do on here!)

Anyone who has been bullied knows it disempowers you. The OP clearly needed to talk about the situation and maybe get some advice. If the bully recognised herself then that speaks volumes!

OP, we learn from experience. Your employer was at fault for not dealing with the crux of the problem - an unpleasant culture in the workplace. That’s not on you!

Same. I had no emotional intelligence, was so selfish & just awful. He would have moved across the country for me; he adored me, but I couldn't see past the 'I'm free to do what I want any old time' attitude of my youth. I treated him very badly.

The mistakes of youth when you're so beautiful you think you rule the world. I really want to look him properly in the eye & say sorry. We kept in touch through my marriage & children & subsequent divorce, but have drifted since he married & had children. I'm incredibly happy in my relationship these past 15 years, & I suppose it's really knowing what love truly is that I now see how terrible I was.

I also treated my first love poorly at the end. He became like my brother & I just didn't know how to get out. I worked abroad for a bit & met lots of other boys, but it limped on for another year. He moved out as I went abroad again, & the first time he saw me afterwards I was with another man- I'll never forget the hurt in his eyes. God, I hope he's happy.

When I was younger for a period of time I lived with my nanny. Irish & VERY religious. I absolutely despised going to church. So I hid her false teeth in the chest freezer when she'd gone to bed so we didn't have to go. She was frantically looking for them all over the house till I felt sorry for her because she couldn't eat her sunday dinner and I miraculously found them for her. Said they were in her pinny apron.
Oh I feel awful just typing it because she was an absolute diamond of a woman I just LOATHED going to church. She died in 2020 and I neber confessed what i'd done.

Broke my dog's leg. It was 20+ years ago and I still feel sick about it.

He was a little Cavalier King Charles Spaniel and had jumped on the sofa to climb on me. I pushed him a bit too hard because he was wet and muddy from the garden and I had a brand new dress on because I was going to a wedding.

He landed really awkwardly on the floor and shattered his elbow. Had to have multiple ops to fix it. He did love to the grand old age of 14 or 15 though!

Some of the things PPs have mentioned are pretty bad. Some are so tame they make me feel like a monster by comparison.

I've done so many things I'm ashamed of. Some are objectively horrific. I've betrayed people I cared about or let them down horribly because of selfishness. I've used and even hurt people for my own amusement. I've sunk to the very bottom of the pit of self destructiveness. I've been weak, lazy, opportunistic, and cruel at the expense of others. I've broken almost all of my own ethical standards at some point or another. I have broken all of the Ten Commandments.

I know there might be some leeway for poor mental health, poor upbringing/guidance, substance misuse, youth, etc. And I do believe in redemption and forgiveness. I believe in the grace of God.

But I still did those things. Sometimes they haunt me, and I am consumed by regret and shame.

But I'm trying to be a better person. I think I'm succeeding, at least somewhat, so far.

There is no way I would ever tell the Internet the worst thing I've done because we only think we're anonymous and I really don't want to get arrested.

same 💐

My God, I'm never letting my toothbrush out of my sight again..

There are men I slept with who I shouldn't have done and men I should have slept with who I didn't!

Thank you for the update, and yes I totally agree with your actions 😉

@Puffalicious Basically I ended it with someone I had just told that I loved because my ex came back on the scene and fucked with my head. He didn’t actually want me but didn’t want me finding someone else. I ended up with neither. It’s over 10 years ago and it still fucks me up. I get you.

I was the other woman when I was 24. Instead of doing the right thing and breaking it off and letting his wife know I took the immature salt earth approach. I told him to pick me or her. Then when his divorce was finalised I left him.

My Dad had just killed himself (couple of hours prior), and we were breaking the news to a family member, who worshipped my Dad.

Said relative run from the house at the news, and we were outside, trying to consol him/stop him from doing something stupid.

A car passed, then backed up, a lady called out asking if everything was ok.

To this day, I am still throughly ashamed of myself, that I rather rudely told her to drive on, that it wasn't a freak show, or words to that effect. I would love to apologise that I absolutely didn't mean it, and there was no need for me to say that to her.

Honestly, me too. Sending you love ❤️

😂

And me