What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

The fact that you are trying to be a better person, means you are definitely not a monster 🌷

Same here!!!

You've reminded me of when I had a Saturday job in a record shop. The sleeves were separate to the actual records or cassettes or CDs to avoid shop-lifting and one time someone brought a record sleeve to the counter for me to find the actual record and sell it to them.

I just couldn't find it. So I put a different record in the sleeve and sold it to them.

I still feel bad that that person had to come back to the shop and probably took it out on one of my weekday colleagues. And they might have given it as a present and then that person had the hassle of it. It was so bad of me.

This was in 1988 so I suppose they've got over it now.

Not necessarily... 😜

Well.

I was a young pup and I cheated on my first husband who was serving in Afghanistan at the time - with his own cousin, got pregnant, had an abortion and passed it off as a miscarriage. Husband was home on R&R a week later and I managed to fiddle the dates. His cousin knew rightly and was applying serious pressure on me to come clean.

I’m not even sure if that’s the worst I’ve done tbh. But it’s the first thing that comes to mind. No regrets. Married now to a lovely man and I’m a very sensible mother. A lifetime ago.

Mine was when i was convicted of arson. In my defence I just had a stillborn but my ex cheated on me and the stress made me lose my little boy so once I left the hospital I set fire to his garage (.man cave where he would invite her whilst I was asleep) . Got a 4 month stretch and I ruined alot of my future plans however interestingly his own mother was fuming at him for calling the police and said he should have worked with me or moved out but he refused to empty the man cave and seeing it enraged me.

the biggest consequence to my actions however I would do it again tomorrow if I felt how I felt that day and I knew no one was going to get hurt.

Maybe fed it something poisonous?

BEAT THIS THEN. Scammed HMV out of thousands of quid. Bought VHS videos in Woolies. £2.99 each, the films Fly Away Home. Matilda and Brassed Off. Boxes full sometimes. Managers asked why I was buying so many. Took them in HMV, no receipt of course and got credits or CD's for £14.99 or £16.99.or each one. That's what hey scanned at. Did it hundreds of times, they never refused me and gave me vouchers too if I didn't want any good. Then just got bored. Good scheme though eh? Clever. I couldn't believe how they were so dumb as not to see the same vidoes being returned faulty. Several London branches, some in Sheffield when viditing my mum and even did a few in Boots, Tower records. Have over 1000 CD's, most obtained fraudulenty. Had hundreds of quids worth of vouchers at one point.

You and me both. My gut told me 2 weeks before my wedding not to go through with it but I ignored it. Wasted both our lives for 40+ years!!

Yes, definitely an 'accident'.....

I have done some shitty things, I cheated on my boyfriend multiple times when I was in my early 20s and also slept with someone else’s boyfriend more than once

I got my workmate fired because she had a drinking problem and came to work drunk. I was sick of picking up the slack for her and secretly quite enjoyed being the boss’s favourite so I not only refused to testify in her defence at her disciplinary, I actually did the opposite and she was fired. Her drinking escalated further and she died within a couple of years, I feel really guilty

I also didn’t clean my hamster out enough when I was a teenager, I think I actually feel more guilty about that than anything

That sounds like a control issue.

I was an awful person. I was raised by two highly abusive parents. Rich parents but I had nothing at all. Literally a packed lunch was ‘weeks old bread’ and a yogurt. They never had time and what time they did have they were screaming or beating me. My father has very unusual nasty viewpoints. Multimillionaires with what seemed like fists made for punching me in the head. The emotional abuse was worse.

I lied. I stole. I hurt absolutely anyone I could. Eg nice boyfriend and dump him and make him cry.
I couldn’t do nice.
if I hit a car wing mirror, I carried on, I drove past it.

I ghosted people. I would terminate friendships with zero notice.

I was nasty. I married an abuser and it was a horrific divorce. He beat me to a pulp and I lost a baby.
I then got myself pregnant (with someone else) deliberately as I wanted a baby. I married him. He was abusive but my first divorce had taught me well. So I saved evidence. I was careful about texts and emails and knew exactly what to do to maximise my outcome. That was 15 years ago. I got a restraining order against him. He was abusive but my god I ripped him apart and tore his life apart. He fought back but I predicted every possible turn and basically screwed him over. He has ended up sad and alone and miles away from us and is very lonely.

I had 5 years of therapy. I spent a further 10 years alone. Then had more therapy. I then met DH and my life suddenly made sense. I was diagnosed with autism and ADHD and PTSD and realised I was totally broken not due to ND but because I was so damaged. The only thing I was really was a good mum.

I have been over 10 years with no contact with my very much alive parents who live 5 minutes away.

Sometimes I pinch myself that I wake up with my wonderful husband who comforts me when I cry, holds me at night and loves me. I have great kids who are ND but secure and well adjusted and loved and happy. I am so lucky I have huge struggles daily due to my ADHD and autism and I do struggle at work - I know I could walk away and my husband would support me. Every day I strive to be a better person and do something kind.

Nothing as an adult.

But I could be a bully as a child. I never physically hurt anyone, but I said cruel things sometimes. It's strange but I felt guilty and bad about it immediately after, but I still did it. I was being bullied without mercy at home, but it's still no excuse really.

When I remember it now I feel a deep shame.

Clever in the way that taking something that belongs to someone else is clever. It was really just theft with an extra step wasn't it?.

I think I’m the third sister in this scenario 😂😂

Poohed in my back garden, poohed in a bin, poohed myself 💩

You're right, never take that risk. I knew someone who I didn't know was into organised crime. They used Encrochat, as a foolproof untraceable communications tool. Except European police hacked it and caught hundreds of them. They really thought they were genuinely anonymous. They got a 20 stretch.

Well maybe fraud not theft as they gave me them, no quibble. If HMV contact me now,, will just say am joking.. Can't prove it. .No wonder they went bust. Should have had algorithms to flag it up.

Both perfectly reasonable if you ask me.

If you really have broken all of them, then you presumably also received some punishment. So for at least some of those things you have paid your debt, and if you’re trying - and doing the necessary things to support that trying - then you deserve a happier future.

When I was a young teacher I had an affair with the (married with 2 children at the school) deputy head.

A rumour when round about us, much whispering, people taking sides, etc etc, and he punched a colleague at the end of year staff party.

He lost his role as deputy head. I was already leaving and had a new exciting role overseas so just left it all behind me.

I do think about him sometimes, but I'm old and happily married now.

Just joking HMV. Nobody would have the audacity to do that.

I was thinking about this the other day after seeing The Drama at the cinema. By comparison to the characters in that film I’ve been an angel!

I guess the worst I’ve done is sleep around a bit during 6th form including regularly having sex with one of my male friends behind his girlfriend’s back.

But I don’t beat myself up about that now. I had a shitty home life and I was young and searching for an escape from my feelings.

I can see as a young teen it might be exciting to try it for the frisson of getting away with it once or twice, but thousands of pounds is a lot of times!