What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

Evil and cruel thing to do!

Made a few mistakes/lapses in judgement over the years, some of which I just cant document here. Some "milder" ones:

Told really stupid lies as a child. We had a Blue Peter charity sale at our school and I told my whole family that the cast of Blue Peter were there, they were all very impressed. Got caught out when my mum mentioned it to the mum of a classmate. Laughing out loud about this as it is just such a stupid lie.

Age 11 along with another girl, pranked a classmate by leaving voice notes saying "I'm going to kill you" in a spooky voice. It was the first days of mobile phones and there were only a few of us who had phones, it was very obvious who had done it and we quite rightly got in so so much trouble.

Promiscuous drunken shenanigans in early 20s, including 3 men in a week (appreciate other posters have topped this)

Catching genital warts (I was RIDDLED with them).

Got myself into some potentially dangerous situations including sneaking into army barracks with a soldier i met on a night out by climbing the fence, realising I didnt want to sleep with him and thankfully him accepting that and "letting" me leave (albeit slightly bewildered). Then had to do the walk of shame past two very confused barrack guards and catch a taxi home.

I've done a few illegal things and I've done an immoral thing, would never post on here what they were as they seem pretty shocking in comparison to the things that others are posting. I do not consider myself to be a bad person, some of the things I got up to were a result of being in some pretty shitty life situations. I do think it is easier to be well-behaved and law abiding when life is ticking along smoothly.

So did I, he would not look after our child so I could go to work on one particular day,When I asked him he responded by saying "I am not your baby sitter" so I hit him. He paid me no child support either and couldn't even help out when my childcare fell through. I shouldn't have hit him, but my god, I was provoked!

I saw a bug outside my home in the driveway that was about to be crushed by a lady who was reversing her car to get out and I didn't rescue it. Still feel bad about it 30 years later.

I told you all not to post on this thread as the posters coming along screaming evil, evil, evil, wicked, baaad will be along to denounce you 😅

They might even report you to the Police for "bad stuff on the Internet" which can get you arrested these days.

When I was 12 an older boy offered me £10 to "do him a favour". I accepted without asking what the favour was.

He told me to take my knickers off and show him my fanny. I knew I shouldn't, but I was so excited about getting the money that I did anyway.

I've felt guilty about it ever since, particularly when I think that a lot worse could have happened.

I also hit my husband, now my ex.

He'd been physically abusive three times by this stage, and continually verbally abusive.

We had a minor disagreement about,wait for it...storage. He massively overreacted, started yelling and kept screaming the word c* in my face.

I stood up and slapped him hard about the face. Five times.

You have nothing to feel guilty about.

Punched a girl outside school and allowed my friend group to bully her horrendously :-( I have no defence, I was egged on and she knew something about me and threatened to tell my parents (I was being groomed and abused but at that age thought it was an exciting relationship with an adult) I had to shut her up. I hated doing it, and years later I reached out to apologise. I understand she might never forgive me and that’s ok, but she did say I wasn’t the worst of the girls and I’m the only one who actually tried to make amends. It makes me sick to my stomach that I acted that way. Fear is a very powerful thing 🥺

You were not to blame for anything.

I am a bad person posted on the internet. I am not expecting anyone to exploit this or blackmail me. Sheesh. I trust the internet. Someone is harvesting this information.

Can someone get in touch about the bug I accidentally gor crushed by a car. I want to berate myself and get therapy.

🥱

A few things

1. Stayed with my abuser for far too long. He was physically, mentally and emotionally abusive and broke me in ways I wont ever recover from. I truly felt it was my life's purpose to support him and help him and that he was a victim. I should have predicted that today, the exact same scenerio as yday warranted a different outcome. He once beat me for not being telepathic. Spittle flying in rage, screaming I just couldnt be bothered to read his mind. Anyway, stayed too long, didnt press charges, horrific post seperation abuse and it impacted my DS who was 9 by then

2. Reported a family member for SA me. Exaggerated it as I thought I wouldnt get support otherwise. Immediately confessed and said the whole thing was a lie as was so ashamed of the bit I exaggerated. Was convinced I couldnt explain as no one would believe me now. The worse thing? I was in Year 8 when I made the report and now as an adult I realise that it didnt need exaggerating, the extent of the abuse was already horrific and I would have got the help I needed anyway.

3. On holiday on a farm abroad. Ran inside and slammed the door. A baby chick had run in behind me. I caught its leg, it came off and it bled to death. I think about this a lot

4. Stole hundreds from abuser mentioned in 2). He kept a lot of money cash where I could access it

5. Staying at Nans house, no loo roll. Did a wee and needed to wipe. Used the towel (immediately popped it in the washing machine with some dettol after)

Some of these seen really tame.
Some quite bad yes.
Im 47 now, when I was 16 id steal a £40 dress from New Look. Wear it out, unpick a seam and take it back as faulty. They'd give me the cash. But I don't feel guilty about that.
Ive done a lot worse.
Stole, cheated. Told lies. Won't blame my upbringing. But I was a cunt. Things change. Criminal record.
However I am a married mother of 5 great children now. Im a faithful wife. I know im a good person, and i will help anyone that needs it.
People need to forgive themselves for the past. Especially if you know you have changed. Or made mistakes, that is human.

Wow so you would get a free outfit and get the cash back that you never paid for it? And they didn't request a receipt?! I've heard of people returning items after they've worn them but never making a profit like that 😮

Not just aimed at you as a lot of posters are saying the same thing- but are you really a good person now or just masking?

What a weird question.

How is it weird? If they have a nasty streak it won't be long before it's shown again. They are probably content in their lives right now , if they become unhappy again the mask could slip.

Interesting. Looking at it, I would probably do the same (dreadful) things from my list again if the circumstances were the same. I was always nice in the right circumstances, and have not changed in that respect.

I have a very nasty streak and also an extremely compassionate and kind one.

I am not a good or bad person. It’s far more complicated than that.

Every single one of us is capable of doing bad things, it's part of being human.

This why many places do not allow families to work together.

This is a brilliant post.

It's like the elderly man near the beginning of Citizen Kane who explains to Joseph Cotten how he saw a young woman walking up the gangplank to a ship 50 years ago and has thought about her every day since...

There's just no telling what will stick in the mind, or how the mind can react to something, at times it's like it has no sense of priorities, or else it gets 'stuck'.