What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?

[shehardlysleeps]

I’m in a reflective mood, and it’s got me thinking about something I did a few years ago which is probably the thing I’m most deeply ashamed of.

There was a coworker who really rubbed me up the wrong way. I was very unhappy at the time, and going through an awful time personally. She would make snide comments about me, do things with my family members (who were colleagues too) which really got my back up, I felt like she judged me harshly and was pretty rude. Along with another colleague they made three or four very nasty comments which still stick with me.

Instead of raising a grievance, which I should have done, I took to posting about her on another website (along the lines of Mumsnet), not realising she used it too. She saw the posts and reported me, and I ended up facing a meeting with HR and a senior partner of the firm I was working in. It damaged my reputation within the firm forever and I ended up leaving after not being offered a promotion. I still feel ashamed of it now, nearly half a decade on, and feel like it’s tarred me forever.

Whats the worst thing you’ve ever done?

really really REALLY not your fault

I am the worlds worst girlfriend literally

I agree. I think if the general public knew and understood the true scale of the corruption in local government, there would be outcry.

However, I think the problem is so bad that it can’t and won’t go on forever - a reckoning is coming. So I think that particular poster may be being a bit delusional about her daughter having a job for life and might have done better to help her get some marketable AI-proof skills.

I had a difficult childhood so I began stealing at a young age. People could also be very nasty to me so as a defence I always pushed to see how much worse ai could be back to them. Would always say things and lose friends..Just overall not a nice person and I have to live with that now that some people just think I'm nasty, but really deep down I'm not - I was just a lost and lonely kid.

I wish I treated my dog better.

A little thing I can admit to, and I find amusing, is to do with my husband on garden leave.
He had been informed he was on a verbal warning for refusing to do work which was both illegal and could have resulted in maiming, injury or deaths. (Think safety switches in a factory being removed - that kind of thing) He hadn’t had the appropriate training and was given a piece very different from the part he was asked to replace, refused to do it without the appropriate training or the directors signature on the work, meaning that if anything happened my husband would be liable for any jail time.
Naturally my husband refused and was given a verbal warning over the weekend. He fought it with his union rep on the Monday and got it removed. However, by the Tuesday, it was back and had been advanced to a written warning (although we never saw it) for insubordination.
Husband was seriously stressed, we have a new baby; he’s being told to do stuff he cannot do and commit to more hours and garden leave became his only proper option.
He found another job within 2 days, jumped ship and the day he left, I mailed a bag of elephant poo to the Managing Director.
We still know people who work there, apparently every year they hear about the MD getting something else from the random corporate client, opening at his desk and getting glitter bombed, covered in grass cuttings or getting a big bag of dicks to eat. One year I emailed him and sent a video of a cockroach with his name on being fed to a snake at a zoo. I send a different package every year on his birthday. This year will be a singing card that doesn’t stop even in water and if it’s ripped open…glitter and still singing. I’m asking for it to play “no more fucks to give” because he really hates swearing!
And no, he won’t recognise me from this post because he did this shit to so many employees!!

@theworldisadarkplace My parent waited until I got back to their deathbed to die. However, my sibling waited until I had left for the night to die. So did my closest friend. I have heard many times of dying people seeming to want to spend time with their loved ones while they are present, and preferring to die when they have left. Often it is staff or a chaplain with them, sometimes nobody, but dying alone is a thing.
(edited to add: other parent died when everybody but one daughter had left the room)

Yes similar… was at uni, I had a boyfriend and I was seeing someone else after getting to know him on a geog field trip . Slept with him and then a few hours later my boyfriend. Over twenty years later I have no regrets. What a time that was.

Can only empathise with this.

My Dad passed away 11 days ago. He had been in and out of hospital for the last 10 years, he finally no longer had the strength to hold on.

On the last day he was responsive, I told him I would call in after taking the family out for a day out, but it went on longer then expected, I was tired. Went in the day after. He was never able to respond again. No idea if he was aware, just horrified that my Dad's last memory might have been of me not coming in, when he was fading away, when I said I would.

And, to top it off. After getting the 'get here now' phone call, rushed to the hospital. Missed him by minutes. Got to his bed to realise he had passed even before the doctors.... He was alone when he died. Everything he did for me, and I wasn't there.

😹

@InOverMyHead84 Oh sweetheart. I am so sorry for your loss. But please don't blame yourself. Sometimes our loved ones wait until we've left to pass. I've heard this a lot.

I did the same with my grandad. I desperately needed to get some shopping in. I'd been by his bedside since he went into hospital 5 days before and all that morning. I told him I was going for an hour, but I'd be back. Rushed and did the shopping, halfway back to the hospital, within the hour, I got a phone call from my gran to go straight to their house, as my grandad had passed away.
All I could say when I got to my grans was, if I hadn't gone shopping he wouldn't have been alone when he died.
Things happen for a reason and I truly believe they knew we loved them dearly and were pleased we devoted the time we did to spend with them.
Please don't be so hard on yourself. Sending hugs and strength at this difficult time 🤗❤️

The very thought of it breaks my heart at how much my actions would hurt her. I have never and would never ever do this to anyone ever again and would never cheat on a partner. The rush of excitement rapidly fade when you realise the impact on others and it's so not worth it.

Reading these is making me recall more, fights in school one in particular was bad. Stealing first lipstick and nail varnish as a teen Setting fire to someones belongings.

Reading about those having sex is making me wish I’d had more! (excluding sex as part of a betrayal)

What’s that saying? The rich get richer…

No wonder the working class are at such a disadvantage. I’ve seen nepotism in my work with my own eyes and it’s absolutely infuriating. All you end up with is generations of entitled spoilt brats who think the world should be handed to them. Meanwhile honest people working their way up from nothing get shafted.

Wow… let it go! You’re giving this person way too much oxygen.. and also at risk of being done for harassment!

Your poor friend was probably on here asking why she was ghosted by her friend after giving birth!

I think that was a very clever idea
Although you should have never been in that situation.

@ToffeePennieYou have problems.

I have said repeatedly I am in therapy, I don’t know how else to say it.

You’re misusing the term ‘garden(ing) leave’.

@x2boys @cheekynamechang3 @ThatCyanCat @Momlife86 @CoffeeCantata @Jellybelly80 @calanaiscailleach @UnctuousUnicorns @mjf981 @365RubyRed @Dragonscaledaisy @ChiliFiend @Allseeingallknowing @Jellybelly80 @Hernameisdeborah
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Wow, I'm shocked at the utter vitriol and wishes and hopes my daughter fails. To clarify a few things. Firstly this is absolutely true and like someone pointed out, nepotism isn't illegal. Someone even mentioned that it's common in the NHS too. I did nothing wrong. Yes, I trained my daughter up and withheld training from other staff. However, my daughter is very bright. She got a first at university. With a little help from me, she picked it all up really quickly and is doing really well in the role. She isn't lazy or a failure.

When she came here after uni as a temp, I didn't create a master plan about this. I didn't even know about the job until a few months after she started. She was really struggling to find a job. As mentioned previously, she's shy and lacks confidence. She struggled to fit in at secondary school and although uni was a lot better, it had it's own issues. She really struggles with her communication skills. The team are lovely and really friendly and always try to include her. In any other places, id worry she'd get picked on. Here, they are nice and she's under my watchful eye so I know she'll be okay. I suspect she might be on the spectrum. She works hard and this job was perfect for her- doing isolated work on her own working with spreadsheets and data without having to communicate much with people.

If you are parents, I'm sure you'd understand. I'm just worried about her and wanted her settled. It so happened that the overall team manager went in long term sick and subsequently retired, so an opportunity arose where I could train my daughter on senior level work. It's almost like all the stars just aligned. I just wanted her settled in a job. She already struggles in so many areas in her life and I didn't want her struggling in work too.

As for writing the JD, yes it went through all the HR processes but in the absence of the team manager, the HoD asked me to draw something up as he obviously doesn't have a clue about the tasks. I wrote it up and he added a couple of things and signed it off to HR as though he had written it. I wasn't involved in the recruitment/ shortlisting or interview.

I hope this sheds some light on things, it's not always so cut and dry when people do terrible things.

Also to add, it wasn't from me to refuse the rest of the team to see the JD. This was a decision made by the HoD.

So it’s your parents’ fault?

I did nothing wrong.

Then why did you post it on a thread asking people for the worst things they'd ever done?

And I can't believe the arrogance of "parents will understand". I've reproduced too, twice, it doesn't mean I get to do whatever the fuck I want and claim noble altruism. No, it's not ok just because your daughter wasn't a good candidate and needed to do a little self improvement like everyone else's kids! You actually laughed at the other people who tried to do that and you prevented it!

This post makes it worse. I can definitely see why you want your daughter to inherit your job, with the lessons you've taught her she'll never gain anything on merit because she'll never gain the merit itself.

I did nothing wrong from a legal perspective, that's what I meant. I put this on the thread because I do realise I manipulated the situation in my daughter's favour which obviously wasn't right. . Like I said the team are a really nice group of people but they already have jobs and children and families and my daughter my never have that.

I think in certain ways they were very lax with aspects of parenting. I only blame myself for this though and I regret it, massively.

Enjoying this thread, and still working my way through it. I've been a boring little goody two-shoes, but have done things like:
Taking the last doughnut (in addition to my own share) and lying about it, more than once.
Losing my temper with the kids and yelling at them. To be fair, it takes a LOT to wind me up to that point.
Complaining about a friend by text, and accidentally sending it to him. I've been on the receiving end of this kind of thing, and it affected me badly. I've learnt to be more careful.