Am I overreacting to BFs poor driving?

[WingsTingle]

Still feeling really cross about an incident earlier today. Headed for a day out, his DS and my DD in the back of the car.
On the motorway, BF pulls into the outside lane to overtake a slower vehicle (fine), but then stays in the outside lane doing 70…
After several minutes, the driver behind flashes his headlights to signal my BF that he wants to pass.
BF becomes enraged and calls him a few choice names, holds his middle finger up to the driver behind on his rear view mirror and stays put.
After another few minutes, BF pulls into the middle lane and the car behind goes to overtake. BF decides to put his foot down, too, making it impossible for the car behind to complete his overtake. BF is laughing and jeering the whole time.
He eventually eases off and the car passes, we pull off the motorway, etc.
I think BF was a complete knob for his behaviour, and I feel very angry that he made the decision for everyone I. The car to behave in a stupid, dangerous manner.
BF can’t see the problem as ‘nothing happened’. AIBU?

It’s so weird. Like it’s such a big deal to let you in. Your massive crime in trying to change lanes. What a tosser.

Don’t question yourself and don’t minimise this or let him.

No way I’d be in a car with him again and the future of the friendship would require an apology.

Ugh (some) men are so emotional and irrational. He has a driving age of five and therefore should not be in any vehicle more powerful than a pedal car till he grows up. Chasing someone? - that's even more dangerous than yesterday's wankery.

To get so worked up about someone else's driving that you put them, yourself and your passengers at risk shows he isn't a rational and reliable person. You don't want your fate tied up with his.

Undignified and in language he might understand - unmanly.

No way!! Its this kind of maniacal driving that causes mayhem on the roads. I, and my DC , would not ever get into a vehicle with this person again . Ever

Or the morgue ...

So is this the only time he’s done this in 6 years? I’d be wanting to know why?
But dangerous driving is a deal breaker for me.

His attitude was awful but I suspect he maybe genuinely doesn't know the rules of the road. Mostly people get irate like that when they believe themselves to be wronged by another. First you have to somehow educate him on this. If you have any hope of surviving the relationship he needs to be safe with you and DC in the car and that starts with knowledge. I would be telling him you can't be in the car unless he listens to you or maybe takes some lessons. I can imagine that's going to be difficult. As for his aggressive attitude, it's very troubling and I'd find it hard to move on from. All I can say is my otherwise nice DH has lost his temper a few times driving and we've had rows about it after. Sometimes it's like he is a different person behind the wheel. He knows now that any kind of shouting or aggressive driving will result in a major consequence with me and future refusal to go anywhere with him so he is usually on his best behavior with me now. I think to be fair he is usually fine anyway but a few incidents triggered him over the years. No excuse though, he can't just throw a tantrum because another driver breaks a rule.

It's because they regard their cars as penis extensions, so by trying to take "his" space you're belittling the size of his dick. Which is almost certainly in fact pretty tiny. It's really quite pathetic.

Have a calm conversation with him at home, and say you won't be getting in the car with him again and not will your child. Mean it.
I know people do change behind the wheel but I suspect his knobbishness extends to other areas of life.

That would be the end of the relationship for me. Dangerous, stupid, and abusive behaviour on his part and I wouldn't be able to get past it.

Or you could tell him his driving is ok but if he wants to really excel he should attend the Institute of Advanced Motorists. They will sort him out.

Ummm I think she meant that an ex behaved like this, so seeing her Current BF do similar is bad.
Not that she is in a car with an ex.

Yet again. I meant I wouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who behaved like this. They would become an ex. 🤦‍♀️

It's not for any driver to dictate what speed any other driver does by lane hogging especially in lane 3. The flashing lights driver shouldn't have done it but you can see why they did.

The bf was behaving like a prick.

Tell him to keep left unless overtaking and don't hog the middle lane!

Does he drive a BMW or Audi by any chance😆

I agree with this.

When we have suffered abuse, as many of us have, it can be very hard to see clearly and judge if something is ok or not. Abuse harms our sense of self and can be very difficult to see that “less bad” isn’t great.

well done OP for asking for advice. It helps to hear others viewpoints.

I would also bet this isn’t the only way his anger will emerge.

I would think seriously about ending the relationship for your and your child’s safety if nothing else. Could you trust him to drive your child around now? Nope.

Well you phrased that very badly then as everyone is reading it the same way.

I know from experience that people can change with regard to bad driving habits @WingsTingle so I hope that you and he can work this out and he can improve and be a better role model for both your kids. If not, I’d be finding it hard to continue the relationship.

Nope, a no go for me. I would never get in the car with him again.

Not at all. OP's boyfriend was cruising in an over-taking lane. The car behind was right to flash to "encourage" him to get out of the overtaking lane. Only one person at fault here and it's the boyfriend, particularly his actions afterwards which are highly dangerous.

Don't get in his car with him again and definitely don't put your child in his car.

Yes, this.
At least he could be able to drive properly, the raging idiot.

Not everyone. Just those hard of reading. 😆

Fuck, no. I cannot stand people who let their own egos and aggression rule their behaviour while driving. He put your life and your child's life at risk (not to mention everyone else on the road nearby) because he was so emotional he was making dangerous decisions. And now he's not even taking it seriously.

I would never allow him to drive me again - especially not after having a conversation about it, because his ego is probably going to take a hit and he may take the chance to drive like a cunt at every available opportunity to prove you wrong or show you he's right or whatever his stupid ego wants to do.

You can safely ignore the morons on this thread saying the driver who flashed their lights was a dick, probably none of those people should be driving either if they don't understand how to drive in overtaking lanes and that emotional drivers make bad decisions that compromise the safety of everyone else around them.

I might be wrong about what @Wolfiefan meant but I meant that from now on he would be my ex BF because of this so I wouldn’t need to travel with him anyway.
Im absolutely serious, this man is a dickhead of high degree.