Am I overreacting to BFs poor driving?

[WingsTingle]

Still feeling really cross about an incident earlier today. Headed for a day out, his DS and my DD in the back of the car.
On the motorway, BF pulls into the outside lane to overtake a slower vehicle (fine), but then stays in the outside lane doing 70…
After several minutes, the driver behind flashes his headlights to signal my BF that he wants to pass.
BF becomes enraged and calls him a few choice names, holds his middle finger up to the driver behind on his rear view mirror and stays put.
After another few minutes, BF pulls into the middle lane and the car behind goes to overtake. BF decides to put his foot down, too, making it impossible for the car behind to complete his overtake. BF is laughing and jeering the whole time.
He eventually eases off and the car passes, we pull off the motorway, etc.
I think BF was a complete knob for his behaviour, and I feel very angry that he made the decision for everyone I. The car to behave in a stupid, dangerous manner.
BF can’t see the problem as ‘nothing happened’. AIBU?

Bloody hell.. he chased someone?

That is aggression and he would be an ex just for that alone.

@WingsTingle, really I don't think this is a man you need in your life. I would put money on the fact his driving isn't the only way this manifests.

And the fact he isn't your abusive ex doesn't make him in any way a 'good man', being less bad, isn't being good.

He's a bad man.

He might be less bad than your ex, but less bad, is still bad.

He sounds very easily angered, especially if he feels belittled. I wonder if he's not showing these traits in other areas but you don't realise. I think you should show your son how unacceptable this behaviour is by dumping the boyfriend. I would ask your son what he thought of BF's behaviour. If he shrugs it off or excuses it then you know what you need to do.

You've been with him quite a few years I'm certain this isn't a one-off
Road rage is very dangerous and doing it with children in the car even more so

Fuck. He'd be a ex just for that attitude whilst driving. Your life and that of your children is more precious.

Or you might be visiting him in jail one day...

Road rage with dangerous driving with you and kids in the car is abusive behaviour.

Your boyfriend is abusive.If you won't dump him for that, at least keep him away from your kid.

If he has a DD old enough to be learning to drive, he's at least late 30s, probably in his 40s? And still behaving like a dick behind the wheel!

He's not going to change. It would be a dealbreaker for me.

He’s an immature dickhead and I would be telling him so.

I’m a driving instructor. I wouldn’t go back in the car again. He needs do have another read of the Highway Code and also realise that being in a heightened emotional state when driving isn’t exactly safe.

You mention you son. I’d be having a chat with him and flipping it around, ask him how he felt with someone in a heightened emotional state driving. He probably felt fear. Use that fear as a lesson to discourage him from doing the same.

Teenagers don’t like being driven unsafely, so this can be a good learning opportunity for him.

As for your partner, he’s regulated to being too emotional to drive, I’d be refusing to get in with someone who can’t control their emotions.

Exactly this.

Agree - and that might be true (flashing can be seen to be a dick move) but the BF here has 2 kids in the car and his GF? Priorities?

@WingsTingle you misunderstand. My mention of ex is that I wouldn’t be with anyone who behaved like this. He would be an ex.

@Wolfiefan got you. Yes - I’ll be having The Chat with him later. His complete failure to acknowledge what happened threw me for a loop thinking I’d completely overreacted- but I know I haven’t.
I’ve lost all respect for him, and I’m cross he did this to me, let alone my daughter…

Cross enough to do the right thing and dump him? It doesn't sound like it, but you really should. Sooner rather than later.

What an absolute twat. Dangerous and embarrassing. I’d be ashamed to be involved with a man like that.

He will nod and smile and nothing will change.

His poor ds. Stuck with dad like that.

It was dangerous and endangering all of your lives, thats the reality, motorways are already dangerous enough just by driving normally.
However your boyf is not going to get it and to him it was just a laugh and a bit of fun..

That would give me the ick. I dont know id I would get past it.

My child wouldn’t be getting in a car with that idiot again.

I can't stand my husbands driving. We have separate cars because I just cannot stand the way he drives. YNBU.

agree he needs to work on his anger
you have been with him for 6 years?
i would let him know you will drive in future

Men with this level of pent up aggression behind the wheel are dangerous and lack any kind of emotional intelligence or maturity. They unconsciously use driving and road rage as a form of weird self-therapy to release their emotions, which shows itself as aggression and rage. He won’t give you a meaningful apology because he lacks the self awareness to see and understand that what he did was wrong and an immature way of releasing his feelings. He needs actual therapy and anger management and if he didn’t get it I would be ending the relationship. Men are responsible for managing their own feelings, no one else, and nobody has to put up with them choosing to continue immature ways of doing so.

I would never trust him to drive me safely so I would always drive in future and my kids would never be allowed on the car with him driving either. I would find it hard to continue a relationship with a man who had such a flawed character though.

That would give me the massive ick, OP, he would be an ex because of it. As an aside, I'm fascinated by people who get angry when driving and seem to believe other drivers are deliberately trying to slight them. I indicated to change lanes the other day, and the driver in the lane next to me deliberately sped up and made a point of staring at me as he drove into the space I was trying to move across to, to make the point that he wasn't going to 'allow' me to move over. It was baffling - these people must feel so inadaquate that they want to do this, but they just make themselves look so pathetic.

He put you and your child, plus his, in danger. He was also not driving correctly by staying in the fast lane. He is a dick. No doubt he thinks he is a brilliant driver and a top man, but he is a dreadful driver and a knob.