To only invite one twin?

[orancing]

I’m curious. Birthday girl (7) a party with a limited number of guests. One person she invited is a twin. Their twin sister is in a different class.

Invite is refused by twins parents because they say both should have been invited?

There are twins in my dds class. 10y old now. Dd is friends with one. Not the other really. But they cannot be invited to parties or even play dates without the other one. Drives me absolutely batshit. We don’t invite them anymore

Twins are not clones 😂
They even have different fingerprints.
Anyone who has even vaguely known a set of identiticals can tell them apart after a short time.

Both children are going to miss out on being invited to parties. Why would you want your child going to a party where they're not friends with anyone except their sibling?

The twins mum is unreasonable. I have twins, they are different people and I wouldn't automatically expect both to be invited.

I have twins. They're have separate classes at school, hobbies, bedrooms and toys (some toys are shared, some school clubs they both do).

They go to parties separately and (occasionally) together. If they have to do everything together, where does it end? Same GCSEs? A levels? Uni? Job share?

Twins are separate people who can travel the road they choose.

Fuck that. Unless you've buried the lead and they are conjoined twins, that's a load of bollocks

Why?

Just say “it’s friends only - siblings aren’t invited to the party I’m afraid”.

By the time they’re 7 and are just inviting a small group of best friends only inviting one twin is completely fine

Don’t feel pissed off with girls doing girls only. Girls are allowed to congregate without boys and it shouldn’t anger you. If your kids are in different classes it sounds like it is time to encourage separate friendships rather than being pissed off with the friends who are naturally more friendly with girls in their class.

Have you had any play dates where you invited your child's friend who is a twin on their own or with their twin?
For me it depends how well they know the other twin and if they have previously spent time with your child.

I get what you’re saying, of course girls can have all girls spaces, but these have been his friends since nursery. They’re in his class, not hers. We have play dates with them etc, I’ve had them for sleepovers, I have them frequently in the school holidays to help parents out with childcare (I teach), his sister is only friends with them because she’s been introduced to them by him! He has one male friend (whose party he and his sister went to in sept) and believe me we’ve tried to encourage more, as have school, but it’s just not how it’s worked out. His two best friends are both girls, and both openly say he is their bestie. They’ve been inseparable since age three.

So yes I do feel pissed off. Not at the girls of course but at the situation. I know as a senior teacher that in teenage it’s really normal to have boys who prefer girls company and to have tight friendships like this so I’m sure it’ll all come right but when he's telling me he wishes he were a girl because he’s sad his sister has been invited to a friend from his class’s party and he hasn’t because he’s a boy, I feel sad for him and yes, pissed off in a general way! If he wasn’t a twin, he probably wouldn’t even notice 😂

i don’t want to derail the OP because i maintain it’s absolutely not her duty to invite the second twin. But I just wanted to point out that sometimes these things are more complex than your standard twin-mum high horse outrage.

DD2's best friends are twins. She went to the same primary as both of them but only grew up with one in her class, therefore the one in DD's class was DD's friend. If DD had a party the one in her class would come, the other one wouldn't. If the twins had a birthday party then they would invite their own friends each from their own classes and they would often only receive a gift from their own friend (rather than people buy both of them a gift). Their mum told she was happy that they had their own set of friends.

Now they're all in high school and hang out in the same friendship group. DD is friends with them equally, so if there's an outing, party or event they both get invited. If they have a party they both get a gift.

Unless they are conjoined, it's fine to only invite one of them.

My dd has twin friends. Mum asks which one is invited, but isn't an arse about it. I did try and invite both if I can accommodate (wouldn't now older)