Things that are supposed to be enjoyable but aren't in reality

[Tooconfused12]

Here's my list:

Holidays with the family (kids under the age of 6.) Too expensive, the kids are always tired/vomiting/over-stimulated. Travelling is a fucking nightmare. There's at least two arguments with your partner. And you (being the woman) end up doing all the prep for about three weeks beforehand. When you come back it takes at least a week for you to get through all the washing. And you're exhausted.

Being on the beach. It's actually a bit shit all round. Sand everywhere. People get too hot and uncomfortable. Sand in the food. Warm drinks that have been left out in the sun. The kids end up with sand in their eyes and so do you. It's always really windy and the sea is miles out which means you have to walk for ages to get there. Someone gets bitten/cut by a rock/sunburnt/swallows loads of sea water and you give up and leave after about 2 hours of drama.

Eating out. Too expensive, better quality of cooking at home with fresh ingredients.

Paris. Dirty, smelly, you're followed everywhere by sleazy men trying to sell you stuff or pickpocket you. Everyone's really fucking rude as well

Having sex. It's a bit touch and go, most of the time it's slightly boring, the bloke normally orgasms before you and the people you really fancy - when you end up shagging it turns out to be rubbish after all that build up. Or they ooze sex appeal and charisma but they do something to give you the serious ick and your vagina slams shut.

Hen do's - end of.

I agree with you about beaches in the Summer with children. Beaches are lovely in the Spring and Autumn for a nice walk along to a pub fully clothed , looking for pretty shells and seaglass. Or rockpooling.

Going out on an evening , especially to any bar which plays the music really loud so you can't have a conversation and doesn't have enough seating, or has high bar stools which are invariably not designed for fat old women and sitting on them feels like some sort of masochistic test of your core strength. Plus one drink cost's more than the bottle of wine in the fridge at home !

A coffee and scones in any of my local cafes especially one where the staff bang the coffee machine loudly to get the grounds out. (Rockpool,Cullen). Also when they interrupt your chat to ask you to pass over the menus as lunchtime over.
When the music is too loud and also when you can't hear yourself speak for the loud people at next table .

I think there's an over emphasis on the importance of sex that can make many men and women feel weird or inadequate for not necessarily feeling that way about it. The saying "sex sells" is probably behind some of it.

Life

Christmas. I would not be upset if it never happened again. No matter how low key you do it, or try to avoid it all together, everyone else seems to start going on about it from mid November. I can do chocolate and fairy lights, see my family, all year round.

Weddings. Adult DC's excepted, I find them dull, tedious and am very good at declining gracefully or even booking a holiday to create an "unfortunate clash".

Snow. White, wet, cold, inconvenient.

Going to IKEA. Once in a lifetime is more than plenty. Happy to complete my life without owning a Kallax shelf unit.

Clothes shopping with anyone else. Slows the whole unsatisfactory process down by a ridiculous amount. Try as I might I cannot see how it could be a social occasion.

Spa days

Team lunches

Extended family vacations

Eating outside in the summer. Wasp city. I usually last 5 minutes under attack and then go indoors.

Friends having children. I know it should be an exciting time but I dislike kids and I know I’m basically going to lose my friend to ‘mum life’.

Christmas Day at home - I love the build up but find the actual day a hot house, knackering ,confined to the house let down

many of what others have said

BBQs - not my type of food , usually shit cheap wine and often have ended up with a dodgy tum

skiing - I’m petrified of falls now at 64 and would rather not bother

sex - gone beyond the point of botherdness-

xmas markets- packed, overpriced tat and again not usually my type of food -I live in Bath too so have no choice about at least 1 market

not a popular choice but public swimming pools- hate changing rooms, all seems a lot of wet messy fuss, I don’t have kids at home anymore, so no longer bother, just swim on holiday

Big over produced weddings- an awful lot of hanging around , usually fairly pedestrian food , seen a fair few nasty arguments and then too many people ending up drunk and bolshy -

Company away days - a long time since I had to do this but I always totally loathed them - enforced joining in , team games etc - hate it all

sunbathing on beaches- give me a pool , lovely grounds and a good sun bed every time- I like to see a nice beach - preferably from my poolside lounger and I quite like a beach walk - just don’t like lying around on them especially when no shade at all

https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/news/arts-entertainment/man-enjoying-gig-still-wants-it-to-be-over-20241116252588

This resonated with me!

Spa days

No, not a bigger bath, if it’s too big you can’t relax as every time you do you slip under the water. The bath needs to be just the right size to support you so you don’t drown
😂

Beaches - agree for myself, disagree on behalf of my DC when they were small! I grinned and bore it for their sake - no moaning DH in the picture luckily.

Paris - I want to say YABU but probably YANBU in the light of an unpleasant experience. My DM was pickpocketed and would agree witb you. My two tourist trips to Paris were great, so I guess I was lucky.

Sex - YABU. You're doing it wrong, and/or with men who don't know how to do it. HTH 😂

On the subject of France - pavement cafés are not enjoyable at all, unless cordoned off in a pedestrianized area - but even then they are still crowded and cigarette-smoky. Tables squeezed too close together, people pushing past, traffic fumes. It's like the Eiffel Tower, looks great from the outside but being in it is no fun. (I do love Paris though, really)

Theme parks.

But I have to say that I disagree with lots of the OP's original list. I guess it all depends on making the right choices, but I have had some amazing holidays, meals out and days at the beach. And I love sex more than pretty much anything on earth.

With you all the way on hen do's though. With a special circle of hell reserved for people who have theirs abroad.

Agree with the people who say Christmas markets. They are fun to see the first time or second time, but I am not interested in buying things there. Ends up being a waste of time for me.

As a young person, nightclubs, although I don’t like getting drunk.

Disagree with those saying spa days, but I acknowledge it’s a personal preference. I find it one of the only things that can instantly soothe my depression.

The lead up to a big seasonal holiday can be overrated, but I reckon this is a nearly universal part of going into adulthood.

Top of my list is theme parks, so expensive, queues, too many people, hyped up kids, merchandise that kids pester for, oh did I mention queues.

Next is Centre Parcs or any holiday type park where you are trapped with lots of people.

Festivals

Camping

I guess my theme is I don’t like being uncomfortable or with lots of people 😂

So glad to hear you say this. My dd2 is a spa therapist and works at Gleneagles!

"It's always really windy and the sea is miles out"

This depends on the place, doesn't it?
I wouldn't bother going to the beach in much of the UK because of the wind, but in other places it's not like that.

I love family holidays and yes I still return tired but I love them . Took me a while to find what I like so I no longer do full beaches and hotel resorts , we rent our own detached villa with private pool and I never cook , we do it without expectation and works so well , we can do sightseeing or beach or take a day by the pool etc
I also don’t agree with ex at this stage , maybe when I was single in my 20s but my husband alway makes me come so 🤷🏻‍♀️, can’t complain lol
as for Paris , I agree so overrated ! It’s like a crappy place and I never feel safe . I love the Louvre but that’s about it .
for me overrated stuff is camping ,why would anyone love sharing a bathroom , maybe if I had one if those American RVs , but woud that be camping ?
Going to the pub , I just cannot for the life of me understand pup culture or pub life at all . Seems like a waste of time , money etc.
And lastly snow , anything that is cold or snow related , I live in the highlands so probably doesn’t help but snow is amazing for the 4 minutes I go outside to take pics and then I hate it ! The cold the driving the getting stuck . Snowboarding or skying is awful feeling like a sausage under those full suits … no no no

You're definitely right about Paris and I gave up hen dos a long time ago. I'm not sure they're even 'considered' to be fun by most women.

I only like spa days on my own. I just like being warm. But tbh I don’t like doing many things with other people - definitely not shopping and hen dos are excruciating without exception.

Quite agree - I hate it and all the run up from August. It is just one day and people seem to think it's so important.

Hen Do’s are the worst!
a day at the beach I hate sand!
and summer I hate it. I don’t like being hot and putting on suncream drives me crazy

Totally disagree on eating out. I love it.

. Weddings. Hate them. Hate wearing very dressy clothes. Can’t find pretty shoes I can wear in comfort AND walk in them. There are periods of boredom. I have been to weddings and only knew 2 others there and nobody was talking outside their groups .

. Funerals. The gap between death and funeral is around a month or so. In England. You just want the funeral done and dusted. Then get people such as my cousin’s daughter who ignored my DGM’s requests. She wanted a simple funeral. Only flowers to be a spray on top of the coffin. Oh no! Cousin’s daughter did the funeral flowers letter ‘Nan’ etc. my DGM hated those things plus a floral cushion of the football club badge. Plus other garish things DGM wouldn’t be happy about. Direct cremations for my parents and myself.

. Baby showers and gender reveals. Why? A friend decided not to have a baby shower and gender reveal. So much backlash from people! As should be done! It’s up to HER and her OH to decide if they decide to know what their baby’s gender is.

I agree with The Beach and Hen-dos - both are URGH.

However not the others. Especially holidays. My happiest parenting moments have always been holidays.

I don’t like big parties/weddings, swimming, live music.