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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Things that are supposed to be enjoyable but aren't in reality

453 replies

Tooconfused12 · 19/04/2026 16:29

Here's my list:

Holidays with the family (kids under the age of 6.) Too expensive, the kids are always tired/vomiting/over-stimulated. Travelling is a fucking nightmare. There's at least two arguments with your partner. And you (being the woman) end up doing all the prep for about three weeks beforehand. When you come back it takes at least a week for you to get through all the washing. And you're exhausted.

Being on the beach. It's actually a bit shit all round. Sand everywhere. People get too hot and uncomfortable. Sand in the food. Warm drinks that have been left out in the sun. The kids end up with sand in their eyes and so do you. It's always really windy and the sea is miles out which means you have to walk for ages to get there. Someone gets bitten/cut by a rock/sunburnt/swallows loads of sea water and you give up and leave after about 2 hours of drama.

Eating out. Too expensive, better quality of cooking at home with fresh ingredients.

Paris. Dirty, smelly, you're followed everywhere by sleazy men trying to sell you stuff or pickpocket you. Everyone's really fucking rude as well

Having sex. It's a bit touch and go, most of the time it's slightly boring, the bloke normally orgasms before you and the people you really fancy - when you end up shagging it turns out to be rubbish after all that build up. Or they ooze sex appeal and charisma but they do something to give you the serious ick and your vagina slams shut.

Hen do's - end of.

OP posts:
CatPawprints · 19/04/2026 17:36

Big arena music gigs. They start so much later than advertised. Band so far away you can't see them. Food and drink so expensive. Its a lot of sitting and waiting about. And I find I just get bored very quickly. Have more fun dancing around my own kitchen.

Also agree with spa days and shower sex.

Octavia64 · 19/04/2026 17:38

I like beaches if they are close enough I can walk/wherlchaur to them from where I am staying.

not otherwise and certainly not with small children.

i hate manicures. I’ve tried a few times (SIL is beautician) and they just fucking hurt.

Dontcallmescarface · 19/04/2026 17:39

Christmas dinners, I'd rather have beans on toast.

EvelynBeatrice · 19/04/2026 17:39

ErrolTheDragon · 19/04/2026 16:49

Mine is any supposedly social event where the background music or other noise is so loud you can’t have a civilised conversation without shouting. Pubs, some weddings or other parties - it’s so frustrating when there may be friends and relatives you really want to catch up with and it’s impossible.

I’m a bit notorious for having been the woman who told the band I was thinking of booking for my wedding that they were there as background noise and not the main event and wouldn’t be paid if my aunties couldn’t hear each other chat. It worked.

Ohmygeorgey · 19/04/2026 17:42

All of those things yiu hate are all my favourite things to do. I actually am wondering what you do for fun because I’d be miserable without doing each of those things. Except Paris, which isn’t exactly a regular activity for me.

WyrdHag · 19/04/2026 17:42

People
Leaving the house

Don't get me wrong, I do both and they can be enjoyable but I really like my time home alone, pottering about doing my own thing in peace (possibly because I have a very chaotic job).

I've never understood those people who seem to be incapable of occupying themselves in their own homes and have to be out all the time.

EvelynBeatrice · 19/04/2026 17:42

Gel etc manicures. Two weeks if you’re lucky of nice nails. Then your options are finding time and money to keep them going in perpetuity or alternatively finding it has ruined your nails and having split awful nails for 6-12 months.

FrankieMcGrath · 19/04/2026 17:43

Agree with beaches but otherwise it sounds like you’ve got a pretty shitty partner!

JacknDiane · 19/04/2026 17:43

Bloody agree with everything here

EvelynBeatrice · 19/04/2026 17:46

Spa days. Awful usually.
But to be fair I once had a massage at Gleneagles Hotel spa that was so good it made me wish I was a lesbian!!!! 😁

JLou08 · 19/04/2026 17:47

I've never been to Paris, due to hearing what you wrote. Apart from that and eating out, I really enjoy the other things in your post. My favourite holidays have been with under 5s, I do avoid going at the hottest time of the year and avoid long tours that would be hard work with young children. I love the beach but I live close to a beach so I'm used to the sand, I know the good spots and I know it's not a place for eating. Not much varied experience on the last one as I've been with my DH since I was 19 but my experience with him is nothing like what is in your OP.

LadyMonicaBaddingham · 19/04/2026 17:47

Bubble baths. I just don't get it...

GinaandGin · 19/04/2026 17:47

Bbqs ... I can't have sticky hands and I HATE eating on my feet or sitting down trying to balance a paper plate on my knee ... a glass ... napkin and the wind
No
Beaches..
Travelling a faff... too cramped too much hanging around and too noisy
Weddings .. too much hanging around
Hen do s.. too much forced joility
Stupid classes on hen do s such as a cocktail making... ffs I just want to drink the bloody thing
Baby showers/ gender reveals...
Any office party ... be it the Xmas do / leaving do... I am not spending time with colleagues for free
Nando s..over rated
Christmas markets..the only in Belfast is over crowded and over priced
Work bonding days
Swimming especially cold water Swimming

Lifeomars · 19/04/2026 17:48

There are beaches and beaches though. The nearest one to me is Skeggy, horrible in my opinion, bleak, windy and generally cold, I have got earache on Skeggy beach in August. Compare and contrast with the beaches on the Gower coast, or abroad in places such as some of the Greek islands.

EffervescenceSmallUmbrella · 19/04/2026 17:49

I agree with baths. They’re so rubbish, the initial bit of getting in the water is lovely but the rest is crap.
They get cold, it’s boring and impractical to do anything to reduce the boredom then you need a shower to get clean afterwards.

Afternoon tea. Crappy morsels of sandwich on pappy bread and too many sickly cakes. I did go to a good one with homemade sausage rolls and hot sandwiches and wraps.

Going to see Father Christmas. It’s not magical just toe curling, and the ‘better’ the big guy is the more cringey the experience. I actually prefer it to be very obviously the caretaker in a fake beard and we can all have a good laugh than the ones with an over acting elf and a twinkly old bearded bloke.

SusiQ18472638 · 19/04/2026 17:49

Can’t relate to any of that!! 😅 And def don’t agree with PP saying Christmas, I love Christmas! For me it’s concerts, I always love the idea of then but get bored and tired by the end!

Sproutling · 19/04/2026 17:49

If sex is 'touch and go' you are doing it wrong ...

spa/salon full body massage... no, my feet are too tickly, and I'm too conscious of my rolls of fat (poor soul having to massage that!) and if I have the head, back and neck massage, just as I manage to relax, I have to get dressed and go home.

FrankieMcGrath · 19/04/2026 17:49

EvelynBeatrice · 19/04/2026 17:46

Spa days. Awful usually.
But to be fair I once had a massage at Gleneagles Hotel spa that was so good it made me wish I was a lesbian!!!! 😁

What on earth did they do to you?!

EvelynBeatrice · 19/04/2026 17:52

Barbecues!!! Yes - men love them. In my experience, hours and hours of waiting only to be faced with either undercooked stuff or offerings that are so cremated that it massively raises your risk of bowel cancer!. But it’s so much effort for the poor blokes that you need to wax lyrical and say how delicious everything is.

Fupoffyagrasshole · 19/04/2026 17:52

Never had a shit holiday with my 2 & 5 year old - I love them

we go camping and stay by the beach loads and spend hours there - we love it

5128gap · 19/04/2026 17:52

Going 'out' to someone else's house. Be it a party, drinks or dinner. All the effort of getting ready to basically stay in.

TheClangyClunk · 19/04/2026 17:53

Game of Thrones - tits and cloaks
Lord of the Rings - more cloaks, fewer tits, still very boring
Soup as a starter - too hot and sloshy, instant appetite killer
Swimming - you travel home as sweaty and red faced as if you'd gone to the gym, but with the bonus of smelling of bleach.

AllaMova · 19/04/2026 17:53

FrankieMcGrath · 19/04/2026 17:49

What on earth did they do to you?!

I was just about to say exactly that comment!

EvelynBeatrice · 19/04/2026 17:53

FrankieMcGrath · 19/04/2026 17:49

What on earth did they do to you?!

Nothing dodgy I assure you. Just very pleasurable.

AllaMova · 19/04/2026 17:54

I have to agree that sex with men is overrated, but I am a lesbian, so that explains a lot. 😁