Things that are supposed to be enjoyable but aren't in reality

[Tooconfused12]

Here's my list:

Holidays with the family (kids under the age of 6.) Too expensive, the kids are always tired/vomiting/over-stimulated. Travelling is a fucking nightmare. There's at least two arguments with your partner. And you (being the woman) end up doing all the prep for about three weeks beforehand. When you come back it takes at least a week for you to get through all the washing. And you're exhausted.

Being on the beach. It's actually a bit shit all round. Sand everywhere. People get too hot and uncomfortable. Sand in the food. Warm drinks that have been left out in the sun. The kids end up with sand in their eyes and so do you. It's always really windy and the sea is miles out which means you have to walk for ages to get there. Someone gets bitten/cut by a rock/sunburnt/swallows loads of sea water and you give up and leave after about 2 hours of drama.

Eating out. Too expensive, better quality of cooking at home with fresh ingredients.

Paris. Dirty, smelly, you're followed everywhere by sleazy men trying to sell you stuff or pickpocket you. Everyone's really fucking rude as well

Having sex. It's a bit touch and go, most of the time it's slightly boring, the bloke normally orgasms before you and the people you really fancy - when you end up shagging it turns out to be rubbish after all that build up. Or they ooze sex appeal and charisma but they do something to give you the serious ick and your vagina slams shut.

Hen do's - end of.

Yes, this is a weird one isn’t it. My mum still buys me an Easter egg and an advent calendar. It think it’s sweet.

Are you normally such a glass half empty person OP? It’s on you if you’re not enjoying these things, and you sound quite unaware of your privilege, a bit spoilt tbh. If you don’t enjoy sex then you’re doing it wrong, must be putting zero effort in.

My birthday. Spending time in the company of people I don't like very much, everywhere is shut, can't go out for a meal unless you want to eat a fucking overpriced roast dinner and the cherry on the top? Having to buy presents to give to others. December 25th birthdays suck.

Re Centerparcs - I agree. I've never been, but I've heard a lot about them and seen lots of pics.

I get that they're just what children enjoy (mine would have) and that they're aimed at families, not old people like me.

They're basically a posh holiday camp - nothing wrong with that if that's what you like. But it's the pine forests that always put me off. I find pine forests very gloomy, and Centerparcs always seem to be surrounded by them....or am I imagining this? You won't find much 'nature' in a pine forest - they're fairly sterile as natural environments go, in terms of bird/animal life and undergrowth.

Spa days. I can't swim, I wear glasses so am blind in saunas, and am too ticklish for massages - they just make me tense up, crack up or both.

Shopping. I dislike spending money at the best of times and get overwhelmed by consumer choice. My top priority is to find something with longevity so I don't have to go shopping for it again in the foreseeable future (a quality you helpfully can't test for while shopping). Special shout-out to clothes shopping which I'd like to enjoy but 99% of garments are one or most of a) ugly, b) impractical or made of a horrible material, c) don't fit me, d) eye-wateringly expensive.

As for the OP's list... agree on holidays with kids which is why I'm child-free. (Obviously never experienced them but I can imagine.)

Agree on beaches EXCEPT if the beach is utterly deserted. Just a glorious feeling to have a hidden cove to yourself. Even then I don't really linger though, I like to keep on the move.

Love eating out and love sex. Go to better restaurants and fuck better men. Bad restaurants and bad sex are tremendously disappointing, yes - such a waste of time. At least you can research restaurants properly beforehand.

Hen dos - the secret to enjoying them is to surround yourself with friends who have the same idea of a good time as you do. I've read about hen dos that sound awful (satin sashes and plastic penis straws, or squillion-pound extravaganzas under the thumb of a deranged bridezilla) but never experienced any like that because none of my friends would ever. Clubbing or festivals all the way, no dressing up required.

Night clubs. Not now obviously im far too old 😅 but as a youngster I never grasped how 500 people crammed into a shoebox sizes room, inflated alcohol prices, cant hear yourself think above the racket played by the DJ. No thanks

Can't agree with you about ballet - I absolutely love it - particularly if you get a seat near the front and can see and hear those shoes on the stage. The costumes are fab, the stories nice and simple, usually with a happy ending, and it's just a lovely spectacle. Have you seen the Nutcracker live? I really recommend it.

Anything involving removing clothing in a public space: gyms; spas; beaches; swimming pools; sun-bathing - perfectly happy with my body but have no wish to share it with others or walk bare-footed in areas that others got to first; yuck!

Any air temperature over 21 degrees: my face goes scarlet and stays that way for hours, even if I then go into an air-conditioned area.

Chocolate being absolutely everywhere: since becoming older, it really doesn't suit me - makes me feel ill for the next two days - but I still miss having it, so it's really frustrating to constantly see it!

Mixing with the general public: so many these days are loud, 'look at me' types who think we all want to hear their phone conversations/choice of music/eating noises.

Staying in people's homes: too many hours wide awake needing the bathroom but not wanting to disturb my hosts - maybe I need friends with bigger houses!

Group exercise classes: much prefer to do tai chi and resistance work at home - can choose my own (YouTube) instructor and go at my own pace.

Food shopping: don't see the point now that online delivery is so easily available.

Gardening: what's the point of cutting stuff back/down when it will just grow again?

Likewise.....

Skiing: what's the point of lugging all the way up to the top just to come straight down again, and then to repeat the whole thing?

I hate the head massage too - I have asked my hairdresser to skip it but she has forgotten by the next appointment!

some beaches have toilets. Never had a dog close by kicking up sand. Never sit in the sand and eat. Might have an ice cream or a lolly.
Sit close to another family. God forbid there are other people wanting to enjoy life as you are.

I agree with so many of these - skiing, Christmas, Christmas markets, spas, shopping, beaches, and yes, sex!

If you really think about it, sex is the most ridiculous thing you can think of doing! Somebody inserting part of their body into yours is pretty disgusting, actually. I don't like it at all.

I live a few minutes walk from the beach and haven’t been on it since about 2014. Taking the kids there after school, weekends etc just used up every last bit of desire to be on one. The sandy food, sandy towels, sandy clothes, sandy kids 😖 I do love a nice promenade though (which we don’t have 🫤).

All of the above except opera - i just wish i could afford it tbh, love a bit of Puccini

That made me laugh because I have been known to suddenly think, what the hell are we doing, in the middle of sex, as it just seemed so ridiculous. I remember asking a boyfriend if he ever felt like that and he was most put out and said an emphatic no!😂 I’ve given it up completely now, don’t miss it at all. I used to feel the same at ‘discos’ back in the 70s. We’d all be dancing around our handbags and the absurdity of all these heads bobbing up and down in the crowd would just hit me and I’d think, what do we all look like (if an alien came down and saw us).

Hilarious - thanks for making me LOL first thing on a Monday morning!

Next to a beach is nice. On it, less so.

Agree with so many of these.

Nightclubs - always hated them, always. Loud music, can't talk, overpriced drinks.
Weddings - have yet to attend a good one. Boring, speeches go on forever, having to make conversation with people you don't know etc etc etc.
Parties - used to love them, especially throwing one. Now I see them just as hard work and no-one considers the host/ess. You're just a servant making sure everyone else has a good time. Much prefer a night in by myself! 😂

Agree. I love going for a walk on a beach in its natural state, but spending the day on a lounger packed resort beach, no thank you.

Really?!?! I adore the head massage, so much that I have seriously wondered if I could pay for an appointment just involving that!

Maybe I'm weird though because I love most of the stuff people have listed on this thread except nightclubs!

I like the head massage too. It was especially good during Covid when my male stylist was doing the shampooing as well as the cutting!

I am an only child.

• Dogs (too in your face, annoying).
• Pubs apart from gastropubs (I don't drink).
• Anything that involves cold or wet conditions e.g. skiing.
• Driving (recently failed my test at nearly 43 and only bothered taking lessons as we had moved to rural Ireland from London - prior to that, I had taken trains and buses everywhere and was perfectly happy with that!).
• I've been to a good number of weddings over the years but have never been invited to a hen do (I am British-Pakistani, so we don't really have hen dos but another type of ceremony). But I think I wouldn't enjoy hen dos at all!

Camping. Some people love it. Mad, obviously!😂

I do like most of the original list. Holidays are definitely a lot of prep / planning with young kids IME so just depends what you enjoy. I don't mind that side of it, as long as everyone enjoys it a reasonable amount and doesn't whinge.

Mine would be summer. Not a big fan of the heat.

And gardening. I don't find any joy in it, and even watering flowers is a chore to me.

Spas. Dislike them.
Nightclubs, even with dancing. Dislike unless they're playing nineties or noughties music.
Summer. I enjoy about a week of it till it gets too much for me.