Mother told her friend she doesnt have to pay me?

[Imacelebritygotit]

I do translating/admin e.g appointments, filling out forms. Work stuff on the side

My mums friend heard i do this and hired me. We agreed on sum etc

I did 3.5 hours work

She then tells me she will give the money when she sees my mum the next day, i agree

My mother then goes "omg guess how much she paid you!!!" "I said no, no, no, no! You are a friend!!!! Absolutely no need to pay that much!!! Wtf!!! 10 pound is fine!!! But she insisted she pays you the agreed amount!!!!! Said treat it as a gift then. But then i insisted and said 10 pound is fine!!!! Trust me!

Explaining to her is useless she just keeps going She is a friend!!! You cant charge her like other people!!!/anyone else!! How can you be so money hungry and greedy!!!

Am i right to be angry about this! I mean this woman is not my friend, i barely know her. And it was like 4 hours work!!!

Edit: oh and now im getting texts from this woman saying she was very happy with such a good price, what a nice person i am and how others she hired "take advantage and over charge". And she wants to hire me again for same price!

A bit of grace goes a long way when dealing with this sort of family situation.

I think OP was given poor advice on this thread.

I don’t think it would be fair to tell the woman that there has been a misunderstanding. Your mum getting involved and unilaterally deciding the payment should only be £10 is not a misunderstanding, it’s interference which has cost you money. If you want to do further work for this woman, talk to her directly, explain that your mum was wrong, but that piece of business is concluded (ie don’t ask for more, write that off.) Then see if she wants to go ahead with more work at the original agreed price, which she will pay you directly, not involving your mum at all.

I'm thinking, that it you feel so strongly that her mother shouldn't be embarrassed and whatnot. Why don't you offer to pay the OP the balance. That way she can ease a bit of financial burden and you can feel good that an interfering lady can live to interfere again? Solves all the problems then.

Personally I'd die on this hill. Mother ship needs to learn a hard lesson.

oh dear. sounds like you are going to have to write this off.

however, I agree with PP that your mum deserves a bit of public shaming. I would make a big song and dance about how stingy your mum is and how she likes to give away other people’s money but won’t help out a friend in need herself, and tease her about this repeatedly in front of other people. it’s the only way to get through to people like her. turn around everything she says to you “no mum YOU are the one ripping me off to boost your reputation among your rich friends” “no Mum I gave her a reasonable but competitive rate - you charged her full price for cleaning!”

just be cheery and laugh about it so to other people it looks like normal family teasing, but bring it up a lot to embarrass her.

If this was a one off I think you'd be spot on. But OP has indicated that this is ongoing behaviour from her mother and that having words has been ineffective. So kicking up a fuss publicly and using shame, even though it is difficult and costly in the short term, is a route to a longer term goal of not having similar things happen again.

I would do this as it will also teach your mother a lesson!

Send an invoice first, with a cover letter stating as agreed in discussions between us on x-dates. And state ‘non payment will be followed by a notice before action in the small claims court’. She will pay, though.

If your mother sulks/doesn’t speak to you again… win, win?

why is everyone so keen to alienate the op from her mother. Get a grip of yourselves seriously.

Don't you think that, in opening her adult DD's earnings envelope and removing most of the contents, and then deliberately belittling the value of her work to a client and thus seeking to sabotage her livelihood... the mum has rather started the alienating process herself?

I still want to know the amount being quibbled over

Gosh if Rose West is your bar of bad parenting then I cant imagine what your parenting is like (aside from being totally crap obviously). No one asks to be born. And then parents wonder why their children dont want anything to do with them... I have amazing parents myself and genuinely want to spend time with them - as do my kids. So sorry OP - particularly frustrating that your mum cant afford the difference especially when it was her decision to deny you the sum

No one is suggesting she actually take it to the smalls claim court - the idea is to threaten it. 90% of people pay up when they get the letter stating this, especially if it is for a small amount.

The mother is alienating herself by her behaviour.

Anyway, I didn't think you liked people getting something for nothing.

Your mother needs to sort this and apologise to you. I would totally blank her until she did so, that is not a motherly thing to do. Her friend obviously takes precedence over you, not nice OP.

Me too…

It doesn't really matter, though, does it? Thinking of the other thread about the people in the supermarket swapping eggs to put the premium ones into the cheaper ones box so they pay less... they can't have really gained that much financially, and I doubt the supermarket desperately missed the extra money (assuming they found out before some poor sap unknowingly bought the other box containing the cheap eggs for the premium price) - but it's just shockingly bad, dishonest behaviour, however much the price is.

I would have assumed even if the OP was charging minimum wage (which I don’t think is high enough for translating work - I’d probably charge at least £20/hour depending on the piece of work), she would be at least £35 out of pocket. That would certainly piss me off.

Same. It's been really depressing on this thread to see how little some women value the work of other women. I strongly doubt anyone would have been thinking a tenner is plenty if OP had been a man.

You could take her to small claims court if you have proof she owes you the money.

I agree. It’s such a race to the bottom on MN at the moment. Women shouldn’t just be expected to settle for crumbs in every aspect of their lives-it’s so depressing.

People keep asking how much the cost was. As much as I appreciate that some of you mean it as 'well is £10 half of what she owed, or is it 5% of what she owed' , I imagine OP is trying to avoid the question because these services generally do cost a lot of money and she's trying to avoid someone coming in and saying she's overcharging.

The woman agreed to the price OP set, so she obviously agreed it was worth that original amount of money.

I have personally been in a situation of needing a translator to handle some important documents and it is a skill to know the legalese of multiple languages. It isn't ordering croissants or asking where the train station is. OP has this skill and should be compensated the full agreed price.

If you've never needed one of these services, you might genuinely just think she should be happy with what she got. I suspect OP is trying to avoid that side argument while focusing on the absolute cheek of her mother and her 'dear friend.'

How are you doing, @Imacelebritygotit? I'm curious if you're going to take any further action against the "frail elderly" neighbour, and what you're going to do about your relationship with your mum? xx