Mother told her friend she doesnt have to pay me?

[Imacelebritygotit]

I do translating/admin e.g appointments, filling out forms. Work stuff on the side

My mums friend heard i do this and hired me. We agreed on sum etc

I did 3.5 hours work

She then tells me she will give the money when she sees my mum the next day, i agree

My mother then goes "omg guess how much she paid you!!!" "I said no, no, no, no! You are a friend!!!! Absolutely no need to pay that much!!! Wtf!!! 10 pound is fine!!! But she insisted she pays you the agreed amount!!!!! Said treat it as a gift then. But then i insisted and said 10 pound is fine!!!! Trust me!

Explaining to her is useless she just keeps going She is a friend!!! You cant charge her like other people!!!/anyone else!! How can you be so money hungry and greedy!!!

Am i right to be angry about this! I mean this woman is not my friend, i barely know her. And it was like 4 hours work!!!

Edit: oh and now im getting texts from this woman saying she was very happy with such a good price, what a nice person i am and how others she hired "take advantage and over charge". And she wants to hire me again for same price!

Are you right to be angry - with whom? With your mother?

When she next texts you, you say: "I'm pleased you were happy with the work, but I hope you understand that due to the confusion, that 'good price' was not my actual usual fee. I'd be happy if you want to book me again, but be aware that my fee, as I originally told you, is £X per hour."

And tell your mother never to do that again.

£60 may not be much to you, but it is a very significant sum to lose for many people on low incomes.

Tell mum she can make up the difference.
You and the other person agreed on a price and the work which was to be done and mum had no place overriding it. I would make that clear to all

This is outrageous.

The woman needs to pay up. And if she continues to ghost you, its then on your mother to collect the money from her. I'd be very angry over this.

Sometimes those that have never had to run a business can be absolutely clueless. My parents are lovely but were both public sector employees so have zero clue what it’s like to be self employed. They thought I was mad to occasionally check emails on holiday for example.

I think you need to tell your mother that she owes you the money. You need to spell out that your time is not hers to volunteer, and ask her to really think about how she would feel if she worked her guts out cleaning someone’s place only to be told that you had told that person not to worry about it because she was your mum.

It's unclear how old you are, but your mother is treating you like a child. She sounds like she has a lot of control issues and doesn't see your work as real work or your time as valuable. Thinking she can outsource you to her friends implies that she sees you as an extension of herself rather than as a person in your own right.

Don't let her guilt you. She disrespected your effort and time. And don't make the same mistake twice by letting her pitch your services to her friends. I wouldn't involve her in your work from now on.

She showed you that her friends are more important to her than you are.

As a translator, I would have a sharp word with my mum, then write this off as a one-off and chalk it up as an expensive lesson and a reminder to do proper contracts and invoicing. The hassle of chasing it up, causing a big family row etc will cost more in the long term by turning OP's attention and energy away from her work.

OP your best business allies are other local translators. Look at the ITI and Source2Target for industry-specific business training.

Your mum can pay you then. Cheeky cow!

@Imacelebritygotit

This.

Your mum was bang out of order and had no right to open the envelope, it was none of her business.

Personally I’d be reviewing the boundaries with your mum in general now too.

Even if you end up loosing on this one, at least you know your mother better now and know she can’t be trusted.

Sorry op, how frustrating and annoying!

Good luck!

How about we deduct 3.5 hours from your pay and see if you think it’s fair. What do you think? None of us work for free do we?!

Also this.

Maybe this too.

This is entirely sensible advice however we don’t all have mothers we can have a quiet word with. I think this is one of those - the mother will do anything to suggest the daughter is unreasonable, making the daughter doubt herself. The mother thinks her daughter is hers to loan out.

Yes, I see your point.

Even more reason for the OP, hard as it might be, to get a grip of her business admin processes and keep them well away from her interfering mum.
i really hope the business takes off because I see that here in my area, there are a lot of elderly folk around who could really benefit, and be more than willing to pay a fair price for such a service as OP is offering.
It would a shame if OP’s mum were allowed to spoil it for her.

Absolutely!

OP, send it to her and if she doesn't want to hire you next time for the agreed amount then fine, that's on her. Your mum had no say in this and she and that woman were both in the wrong, your mum for giving her 5 cents about the whole agreement that never included her to begin with and insisting the payment is unnecessary and that woman for listening to her when she hired you, not your mum. Your mum's opinion on this is irrelevant.
Also yes, you absolutely could and should charge people for the work you're going even if they are your friends. That's still time and effort and there is no reason to do something for free, unless they are doing something equal for you in exchange. Your mum can disagree and do as she pleases but that has nothing to do with how you work.

I’d let it go this time but next time ask for a cheque from the woman and leave your mum out of it.

I could understand if the sum was £200 and you did it for £180 of someone you know well but come on £10 is a kick in the teeth

Well said! Totally agree.

OP, I'd not give your mother her next birthday (or Christmas - whichever is first) present, just a card. When she comments tell her the money you would have spent she effectively gave to her friend.

Even without that, though, OP's mum and this woman (I think they're both users, tbh) have opened up a can of worms which will probably already be leading to fallings out.

Now that the woman has got it into her head that she can get OP to work for her for next to nothing, she'll most likely be trying it on again and again.

And she won't see it that she got very lucky once (at OP's expense), and not to push it again; she has it in her head that the pittance she paid is fair, so she won't be happy when she's expected to pay a price that is actually fair next time. I reckon she will try to frame it that OP reeled her in with a fair price and is now subsequently seeking to rip her off - "taking advantage of pensioners, thinks I'm made of money, suddenly hugely ramping up her prices" etc.

Who knows whom she'll gossip to? Sadly, OP's mum sabotaging her job in this way might not 'just' be being forced to give away one near-freebie, but also the potential fall-out if her name and reputation are smeared as a result.

I reckon that OP's mum is one of these people who only considers manual/physical labour as 'real work' - and that anything done sitting at a desk is 'just pushing a few random buttons' and coining it in for virtually no effort at all.

You hear and see it all the time when you WFH - the sheer number of people who assume that you're not really doing anything and so are available for everybody and everything that they want to commandeer you and your time for.

Update?

£60 is a lot for me. I’m a working single parent so everything dd has is down to me

I also wouldn’t have let this lie and would have messaged the lady - like @Imacelebritygotit did

but as no reply - I would have gone to her house and asked for the money difference

I guessed £60. It could be much more an with the lady replying back such a wonderful price , I would be firmly telling her the price is what I told her an ah owes me x amount different

Do we know how much was actually owed for the job?

No she didn't answer that question for some reason.