Mother told her friend she doesnt have to pay me?

[Imacelebritygotit]

I do translating/admin e.g appointments, filling out forms. Work stuff on the side

My mums friend heard i do this and hired me. We agreed on sum etc

I did 3.5 hours work

She then tells me she will give the money when she sees my mum the next day, i agree

My mother then goes "omg guess how much she paid you!!!" "I said no, no, no, no! You are a friend!!!! Absolutely no need to pay that much!!! Wtf!!! 10 pound is fine!!! But she insisted she pays you the agreed amount!!!!! Said treat it as a gift then. But then i insisted and said 10 pound is fine!!!! Trust me!

Explaining to her is useless she just keeps going She is a friend!!! You cant charge her like other people!!!/anyone else!! How can you be so money hungry and greedy!!!

Am i right to be angry about this! I mean this woman is not my friend, i barely know her. And it was like 4 hours work!!!

Edit: oh and now im getting texts from this woman saying she was very happy with such a good price, what a nice person i am and how others she hired "take advantage and over charge". And she wants to hire me again for same price!

Right op, we are all on your side I think that your mother is a cheeky overbearing woman who treats you like her property to farm out doing favours so she looks good and any pushback from you she tries to suggest you are unreasonable. That’s who she is, but you don’t have to accept it.

as others have said less communication with her , no long explanations trying to make her see reason, it’s like trying to explain to a dog how to play the piano, she does not care you are onlythere to do her bidding. Detatch and work on letting her words and tantrums not affect you. I can relate by the way, my mother used to offer my services out to people.

This friend is a user.

I wonder if she didn't pay you directly on the day because she wanted a discount. So when she talked about paying the money to your mother, the friend may have worded it in a way to make your mum feel sorry for her.

Is this friend manipulative? Is your mum easily swayed? Did you mum feel put on the spot and then gave friend a discount? Your mum may have felt uncomfortable because the friend is manipulative.

Hope you get the full amount somehow.

Tell her if youre money hungry then she is prideful and wants to look better than she is to her friends. Tell her she either pays, gets friend to pay or you will make sure everyone knows she’s a liar.

You have already realised that although easier for your customer, getting your mum involved in receiving cash payments was unprofessional

I don't see it as unprofessional in principle for somebody to pass on an envelope to a family member. In the majority of cases, this scenario wouldn't be an issue - although I suppose, if the payer had put the wrong amount in (deliberately or by mistake), it could be a little more awkward to raise/prove.

The main thing, though, is that OP mistakenly thought that her mum was trustworthy to pass it straight on and not to take away/give away most of it for herself/to buy herself virtue points.

You can also go to the lady’s house to ask for the money

Wow what an awful position your mum
has put you in. If the ‘friend’ continues to not engage, send her a letter before action and use the small claims court. You are owed this
money and need it. It might be enough to make her pay up without following through. Unfortunately if you do need to claim you may end up making no money at all after the fee but getting the money back regardless will teach your mum a valuable lesson. Don’t think her mate will be too happy with her then. No social credit for mum in getting her mixed up with this.
Tear a strip of your mum for putting you in this position and (although I'm sure you now know this) never ever involve your mum again in your business.
A side note, It is slightly fishy to me that she insists on going through mum, mum helpfully gives her a huge discount then she asks for more work at the same price. If they had planned it between then it would look like this.

Considering that the mum still doesn't think she's done anything wrong and is brushing it away and refusing to accept that she massively overstepped, I'd be inclined to make a point by just giving her a card for her next birthday or Christmas, and no present (or a noticeably tiny nominal one).

If she complains, I'd remind her that I work to earn money - as do the vast majority of people - and as she chose to deprive me of a considerable chunk of my earnings, there isn't now enough for me to pay for everything as planned, so something has to give... and it would obviously be unfair for anybody else to have to lose out because of her actions.

I wonder if she would be quite as happy being Lady Bountiful if she realises that she's given away her lovely birthday present, rather than 'just' her DD's income.

And add the cost of your time for having to do so to what she already owes!

Utility companies will routinely charge you extra if you don't pay them by direct debit/promptly online and instead opt for a more admin-heavy method - and it's not even like they have to send somebody to your house!

Not only has she taken massive advantage of you, but to add insult to injury, she's not even paid the ridiculously low amount of money in a quick, convenient way for you to receive it.

OP, the more I read, the more appalled I am for you. I do translation work sometimes too, so I know how complex it can be, and for your mum to effectively send the message that £2.50 an hour is fine... I'm speechless. It's neither greedy nor money hungry to expect an acquaintance to pay someone the going rate for a service regardless of their being an acquaintance. To be fair, the friend is being an absolute CF too, not to have insisted your mum pass on the agreed payment in full.

Your mum and her friend sound horrible, I would spend no time with either of them, and certainly don’t do any more work for any of her friends.

Has she responded yet OP?

Are you kidding? Perhaps she should offer to buy the friend a lovely gift too? And give her mother a weekly allowance as she says she has no money.

No not kidding at all.
If OP is to make a success of her excellent small business idea, she has to learn as she goes along and get her admin procedures properly and tightly into place. A clear message should have been given to her mum’s friend about the cost of doing the job and about payment terms. The OP made an amateur mistake in allowing the customer to pass cash in an envelope to her through somebody else, all against her better judgement. The ensuing interference cost her.
It seemed to me that OP had already realised that.
In business, she has to accept accountability for her own mistakes if she is to learn and grow.
OP needs her past customers (and her mum who got her the business in the first place) to help widen her customer base through word of mouth.
I suggested she had a word with her mum so that it doesn’t happen again and then let it go. It makes good business sense not to make a big, exaggerated, negative drama out of it. Instead, to put it down to experience and quickly move on.

@LAMPS1 - I am all for the aOp accepting an Idiot Tax when she messes up; it's what I did with my business when I made mistakes.

But the real error was her insane interfering mother, not the OP's kind accommodation of someone unconfident with digital banking.

Yes I agree the OP’s mother was very interfering and that it was a mistake that cost her. Which is why she needs a firm but gentle word with her mum to rectify that and ensure she never again opens an envelope addressed to somebody else. If OP rants and raves at her mum, her mum will become very defensive and not listen.
It was OP’s mistake that led to that scenario, therefore she is accountable. The important thing in this story is for OP to learn (don’t allow any situation in which her mother or anybody else, can interfere) and quickly move past it.

If OP rants and raves at her mum, her mum will become very defensive and not listen

The OP's mum already ignores everything she says and gets arsed, so that ship has sailed anyway

Because narrative such as this...

My mother then goes "omg guess how much she paid you!!!" "I said no, no, no, no! You are a friend!!!! Absolutely no need to pay that much!!! Wtf!!! 10 pound is fine!!! But she insisted she pays you the agreed amount!!!!! Said treat it as a gift then. But then i insisted and said 10 pound is fine!!!! Trust me!

...makes it difficult to understand who is saying what. It's all just hashed together in one big mess with little punctuation.

What rubbish.

I'm my children's 'old mum' and would never in a million years behave like the OP's mother has behaved. I have more respect for my children.

Just because someone is a mother doesn't give her carte blanche to just ride rough shod over her children.

And what on earth does 'she gave you life appreciate it' mean? So whatever shit a mother dishes out her children they should just suck it up and be thankful because 'she gave them life'? What utter bilge.

For pity's sake. You don't think there's any difference between the writing a person produces in a work context and how they might express themselves in a forum such as Mumsnet? That's just ridiculous.

That is like a painter and decorator or a car mechanic,there is no friends you barely know discount.

Either message her and say there is a mistake you cant afford to work for £2.50 an hour.

Or tell your mum she owes you the difference, since shes so happy being generous with your time ans money

Your mum needs to pay you the money you were owed and sort it out with the friend if she, wants to be reimbursed. If she refuses then I would not speak to her until she did.

You agreed a price with her friend and she has messed this up for you. How dare she expect you to work for less than £3 a hour.

Lesson learned, never trust your mum to have your back again.

I hope you come back and let us know the outcome as we are all on your side in this.

Your mother gave her the discount so she can make up the difference.

I hate the ‘mates rates’ thing; I would much rather my money go to someone I knew than to a complete stranger.

Oh do piss off