Mother told her friend she doesnt have to pay me?

[Imacelebritygotit]

I do translating/admin e.g appointments, filling out forms. Work stuff on the side

My mums friend heard i do this and hired me. We agreed on sum etc

I did 3.5 hours work

She then tells me she will give the money when she sees my mum the next day, i agree

My mother then goes "omg guess how much she paid you!!!" "I said no, no, no, no! You are a friend!!!! Absolutely no need to pay that much!!! Wtf!!! 10 pound is fine!!! But she insisted she pays you the agreed amount!!!!! Said treat it as a gift then. But then i insisted and said 10 pound is fine!!!! Trust me!

Explaining to her is useless she just keeps going She is a friend!!! You cant charge her like other people!!!/anyone else!! How can you be so money hungry and greedy!!!

Am i right to be angry about this! I mean this woman is not my friend, i barely know her. And it was like 4 hours work!!!

Edit: oh and now im getting texts from this woman saying she was very happy with such a good price, what a nice person i am and how others she hired "take advantage and over charge". And she wants to hire me again for same price!

I really hope you don't have children.

Mum is out of line and a thief unless she give you that money.

Not a bit of it. I'm not accusing you personally of anything but that's actually the exact kind of thing that an abusive parent would say.

I remember a thread from ages ago now whereby OP's MIL had decided that her adult children owed her big-time for all of her hard work in bringing them up as children, and that they were now duty-bound to pay her a regular kind of 'gratitude salary' for it. Not in an informal 'see your old mum right now and again' way, but actually a considerable amount of money that she told them they each needed to pay her every week/month for the rest of her life - hundreds of pounds each iirc. I don't think she was even that old - maybe 60s?!

Interestingly, it appeared that she had never felt any duty to pay her own parents in the same way when they had been her age!

Yes, absolutely. Aside from the fact that OP would have gladly taken an instant bank transfer, but the woman insisted that she would give the cash to OP's mum instead; how difficult is it to take an envelope, pop it into your handbag and give it to a family member when you next see them?

The busybody mum chose to interfere wholly unnecessarily and cause a load of hassle. Just like your postie brings letters directly to you from the sender without feeling the need to ask what's inside or open them first and make their own decisions as to how you should respond, that is all OP's mum needed to do.

Mam my rate for 4 hours work is Xxx , either you pat me or ahe does. You dont get to me generous or give discounts or other peoples dime or time.

One more chance to the customer, and then proceed to small claims court. Easy to fill in paperwork, I understand. https://www.gov.uk/make-court-claim-for-money

I would send the woman an invoice directly in the post.

You have already realised that although easier for your customer, getting your mum involved in receiving cash payments was unprofessional, -and that because of that, you have been underpaid on that one particular job.
I think you have to accept it was your own mistake, learn from it, and draw a line under it without any more fuss and bother.

For future business from that same customer, you should simply apologise for the confusion over the previous payment and clearly explain your charges and any discounts you want to apply for future work for her. Tell her that if she wants to pay cash on receipt of your invoice, it’s best she hands the cash to you directly, never to anybody else to pass to you.

Have a gentle word with your mum to explain that her friendly interference hasn’t helped your business. Remind her never to open an envelope addressed to anybody else. She is a good source of business for you so try not to upset her.

No need to make unnecessary drama out of this incident or place blame on anybody as it was your admin system that failed. Improve your simple invoicing and receipt system for the future and you will avoid problems like this again.
Your customers need to know in advance, for certain, what your costs are.

I think it’s a very useful service you are providing OP. Well done for helping people out in this way.

@Imacelebritygotit How old are you and how long ago did you stop living with your mum?

@Imacelebritygotit you haven't really answered questions over whether this is a legitimate business you 'run on the side'.
Is it that mum is ignoring the tax implications of your small business and thinks you are just offering your services for a token goodwill gesture (rather than seeing it as work, as it sounds like you do have another job?).

I would be telling your DM that it’s neither greedy or money hungry to want to be able to pay your bills, and then remind her of the times she had refused to do work pro bono, or favours for people as that would lead to the expectation of her doing it all the more. How can she apply that rule for herself but not her own daughter?

I'd just have a blanket rule in future that you don't take referrals of your mum's friends. It just isn't worth the aggravation and, because your mother is as thick as a plank and likes to feel magnanimous with your money, she is likely to continue to tell people you'll do it for nothing or work for £2.50 an hour. People's gratitude for a cheap job soon vanishes and there will then be an expectation that you'll keep doing it for that amount. Your mother's friend seems to manage to pay school fees and book overseas trips and I'm pretty sure she doesn't go along to pay for those with a roll of money in her handbag.

I would be asking your mother to make up the difference. How on earth does she expect you to make a living if you’re constantly doing favours for relatives and friends of the family? In future, no jobs for anyone you know- it often gets messy. It sounds like your mother doesn’t take your profession seriously.

@LAMPS1 how is the OP's mother a "good source of business" for the OP if she unilaterally decides on OP's behalf that her own daughter's time has so little value?

I'm minded to think the person she did the work for deliberately chose to pay via her mother in order not to pay the agreed amount and her mother is both interfering and dim to undermine her own daughter in this way.

Did you read the post?
She now wants to hire her again because she’s so cheap!

If she’s not responding, go back round and say sorry my mother gets very confused.
My hourly rate is £20 (or whatever it is), I would be grateful for a bank transfer now, or cash if that’s easier, and I can take you to the cash point.

It obviously goes without saying, don’t ever involve your mum, and don’t let other people involve your mum.

With a mother like yours, who needs enemies? Your mother knows that you are struggling financially and she has also told you how well off her friend is and that she brags about going on expensive holidays and paying for private school for her grandchildren. Her insults towards you such as 'greedy' and 'money hungry' are unforgivable.

She cares more about looking good in the eyes of her friend than supporting her own daughter. She is a fucking disgrace and I'd be seeing a lot less of her from now on.

Don't be so ridiculous. Her mum is horrible and she is calling her own daughter names while enabling her very wealthy friend to cheat OP out of payment that was agreed in writing before OP did the work.

If you genuinely believe that what all mums say goes because they gave you life, does that also apply to Rose West?

Being a mum doesn't confer sainthood or give awful mums like OP's mum carte blanche to treat their children like dirt.

Wtf?

10 pages and we still don't know how much she was meant to pay.

Absolutely this.

So if your mum told you to give away the majority of your earnings, you would?

Or the OP's mother?

To answer your direct question…

OP’s mum is probably a good source of business because it seems she lives in a community with other people who need similar help and where positive word of mouth is important to more business.

Yes, her mum made a one off mistake by deciding to open the envelope and interfere. This is easily rectified if OP has a word with her, without over upsetting her, which is exactly what I advised.

If OP wants to make a success out of helping people in this way, which I admire, then her energy is better spent on acting to make sure this one off mistake never happens again rather than concentrating on thinking this was a scam by two elderly ladies concocted to avoid paying the full amount.

To my mind, there’s no need to think the worst of people at this stage. It was simply a mistake to be played down rather than exaggerated.

We don’t need to know. It’s irrelevant. We do know that OPs mum has reduced her rate to £2.50 per hour. That:s unfair and undermines OPs professional abilities.
similarly, why are people assuming that OP is avoiding tax by accepting cash via her mother at the client’s request?.she mentioned that the client had mentioned difficulties with on line banking.