Am I profiting off DPs death?

[PILEALLTHEPILLSONTHEFLOOR]

I received the £3500 lump sum + £350 x 18 month instalments of widow's bereavement payment from the DWP and someone on MN told me I was profiting off my partner's death even though this is a lot less than he would earn for the next 40 years of his working life. I got the higher amount due to being pregnant at the time.

What else am I supposed to do? Not have paid my mortgage and refuse the money... on principle? He would want me to claim it.

Can never tell if someone is genuinely scandalised or just a deliberate ne'er do well on MN these days

@PILEALLTHEPILLSONTHEFLOOR the person that told you that is a jealous idiot!
Sorry for your loss, hope everything goes well with your pregnancy and the birth of your baby brings you joy.

What was the context? That seems like a horrible offensive and unecessarily unkind thing to say.

I think this is exactly what benefits are for. A little help to keep you going, while you get back on your feet after a change of circumstances.

Good god! Ignore this terrible comment. What a massively cruel and bizarre thing to say.

It's a pretty terrible state we're in if anyone is begrudging what is an infinitesimally small slice of the public finances to a pregnant widow.

I'm really sorry for your loss. All the best with your baby.

What a thoroughly horrible thing to say. I am sorry your loss

Imagine being jealous of someone getting a little bit of money because they've lost their partner and father of their child...

They must be so sad in their own life!

I work for an insurance company and so am very well insured. If I die then dh will be very wealthy indeed.

This is a good thing in my view. I would prefer it (and hopefully so would he!) if I can be there to help Dh raise our children. But if I can’t then the money will help make his life a little bit easier.

It wouldn’t be a case of him profiting from my death - it would be him continuing the life we started together and me leaving him with everything I can to help that even if I can’t be there.

Unfortunately, as well as lots of well-informed, helpful and empathetic posters, there are also a lot of judgemental cunts on Mumsnet who love to rejoice in the misfortunes of other posters and to put the boot in to upset them some more.

I'm very sorry for your loss and please try and ignore the awful poster who said this. If that post is still standing, you can report it to Mumsnet as a personal attack and they will probably remove it.

MN is fucking wicked especially at the moment.
Every other thread is a veiled excuse to be hideous about people who get any form of government subsidy with absolutely no discretion or any level of thinking as to why the person may be receiving it.

MN believe themselves to be the "educated lot" but realistically there are an awful lot of small minded, petty individuals with absolutely no critical thinking skills who cant seem to grasp that life is unfair and unequal.

Please dont take this comment to heart.
Im so sorry for your loss, especially whilst being pregnant.
I wish you hope and healing

You’re not profiting from his death because even with the payments you are down financially so no you’re not profiting. I hope that doesn’t sound insensitive just trying to say you’re not profiting at all!
Ignore people like that, some people have no sense, I’m sure you’d much rather have your partner here in yours and your child’s lives over a few payments

Thank you! This comment was made some years ago but always stuck with me, it's so bizarre. Also want to add that I had worked since I was 15 and have been a taxpayer my whole life, too. It was the first and hopefully last DWP benefit I have ever received.

Why on earth would somebody say that to you OP unless they have serious mental health issues ?

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It beggars belief how unkind and irrational people can be.

Thats an awful thing to say to someone who has lost their partner. Mind you my younger sister tried to say I had stolen our deceased sisters money. That is untrue. The 2 sisters despised each other and I was a named beneficiary of my deceased sisters death in service payment.
Other sister makes the accusations. Occasionally when she's been drinking.
I just tell her to report me to the police.
So far she hasnt

Regardless of your employment status, as a society we decided that supporting bereaved parents is a good thing. Because it is a good thing. I can’t believe anyone would grudge a bereaved mother some financial support.

I take it they have never heard of life insurance? If either me or DH die the other will have much more than that amount.

I would understand her comment if I started a GFM or something. (which frankly we could do with... after 3 years there is still no headstone. Is that normal?)

I’m so sorry for your loss. My husband was killed eight and a half years ago. I received help financially from the DWP and I am forever grateful for it. Ignore those who haven’t lived your experience.

Some people are so stupid that there really is no point giving them headspace. Re a headstone, a year or two is definitely normal. Is it finances limiting you or other reasons?

Sorry for your loss. Some people are just here to be unpleasant and cause disruption and you can completely disregard what they say.

Goodness me, what an unkind thing to say to you. Don't give this person and comment a second thought - they were being an arsehole. Sending hugs.

I have only just sorted out a memorial for my husband’s ashes. You don’t expect people to die young. It is normal but guilt is always lurking when you have suffered a significant loss.

I am not next of kin so the responsibility for the headstone is with his parents. I have no idea what is stopping the erection of a permanent headstone. The wooden cross is very rotten, rusty and dilapidated now and it makes me extremely sad every time I visit.

Sorry for your loss.

No, you are not profiteering.

Of course you weren’t, you were getting some support (paid for through your own tax contributions) to help you during a difficult time.
whoever said that lacks empathy and should take a real look at themselves.

That's horrific that someone said that, I'm so sorry. I inherited som e money because my Dad died before my Grandparents. I would rather have had my Dad for longer than any amount of money.