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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Having ‘a cuppa’

524 replies

ConstantlyFuriosa · 19/04/2026 10:49

Why does this sentence infuriate me so? I already know I’m probably being unreasonable but it’s so grating. I can’t be the only one?

OP posts:
ConstantlyFuriosa · 20/04/2026 10:13

Frodocheerio · 20/04/2026 10:08

I am absolutely fascinated by this thread. Have never in my life thought anyone would have the time or inclination to judge me as lesser or generally object to the use of something as thoroughly embedded as ‘cuppa’.

Then again I suppose I am absolutely judging these people right back 😂

It’s really not that deep. No one is ‘judging’ - it’s just about silly verbal annoyances, surely?

OP posts:
isthismylifenow · 20/04/2026 10:32

ConstantlyFuriosa · 20/04/2026 08:36

Just remembered I also hate it when someone says they’re going to ‘grab’ a coffee or tea. Why ‘grab’?

Then there is throw.

It seems to be used quite a lot in cooking videos.

Do xyz, then throw in some mushrooms.
Throw in a can of soup
Throw in some spices

What is this throwing in business? Are you taking 10 paces back from the pot or what?

Add in some spices.
Even put them in the pot. But throwing them in seems quite dramatic.

PuzzlesintheMorning · 20/04/2026 10:39

cardibach · 19/04/2026 22:13

No, because a chippy is a chip shop. And chip shops sell a whole range of things.

"A chippy" is a twee contraction of "Fish and Chip shop". As we all know fish and chip shops sell other fried food, but primarily, fish and chips.

ruethewhirl · 20/04/2026 10:42

ConstantlyFuriosa · 19/04/2026 21:19

OMG, this! I bloody hate it when people say ‘baby’ without claiming it as their own or someone else’s. This is more annoying than at least a thousand cuppas.

Makes me cringe too. I remember a character in Doctors, when she was pregnant, snippishly correcting the midwives with 'the baby' every time they said 'baby'. I'd have probably done the same if I'd ever had babies. 😄

eggandonion · 20/04/2026 10:44

I have a cuppa with one friend and we would also have a wine. Possibly in an ironic Gavin and Stacey way.
My builder has a brew, a fag and his butties which makes me happy because it means he has turned up. He is from Manchester. I'm in Ireland.
Dh is constantly telling me that some work person will come over for their tea. I then need to remind him that this could mean cuppa and cake or three courses of Jamie Oliver so he needs to clarify.
In Ireland trainers are runners..a pp asked about this
Although my dh might say gutties.
My dil and ds reach out instead of contacting . And they pop. They pop everywhere.

CoffeeCantata · 20/04/2026 10:46

ConstantlyFuriosa · 20/04/2026 08:36

Just remembered I also hate it when someone says they’re going to ‘grab’ a coffee or tea. Why ‘grab’?

I guess they think it makes them sound busy, busy, busy in in such demand that they can only dash in and grab their coffee.

I also flinch when people say they're 'running late' as opposed to just plain late. I think, again, it's an attempt to imply that it's beyond their control and somehow not their fault.

KimberleyClark · 20/04/2026 10:52

Was it George Bernard Shaw who said

”It is impossible for an Englishman to open his mouth without making some other Englishman hate or despise him,"

SadBoys · 20/04/2026 10:52

eggandonion · 20/04/2026 10:44

I have a cuppa with one friend and we would also have a wine. Possibly in an ironic Gavin and Stacey way.
My builder has a brew, a fag and his butties which makes me happy because it means he has turned up. He is from Manchester. I'm in Ireland.
Dh is constantly telling me that some work person will come over for their tea. I then need to remind him that this could mean cuppa and cake or three courses of Jamie Oliver so he needs to clarify.
In Ireland trainers are runners..a pp asked about this
Although my dh might say gutties.
My dil and ds reach out instead of contacting . And they pop. They pop everywhere.

I can’t handle the popping. I’m also Irish. I think we’re less likely to pop.

eggandonion · 20/04/2026 10:56

Ds likes to pop to the loo. He must have learned that somewhere. Loos don't exist here.

KimberleyClark · 20/04/2026 10:57

I’m more likely to nip out than pop out.

TheDelcosArabiaNSoul · 20/04/2026 11:02

isthismylifenow · 20/04/2026 10:32

Then there is throw.

It seems to be used quite a lot in cooking videos.

Do xyz, then throw in some mushrooms.
Throw in a can of soup
Throw in some spices

What is this throwing in business? Are you taking 10 paces back from the pot or what?

Add in some spices.
Even put them in the pot. But throwing them in seems quite dramatic.

I blame that mockney twat Jamie Oliver.

cardibach · 20/04/2026 11:04

CoffeeCantata · 20/04/2026 10:46

I guess they think it makes them sound busy, busy, busy in in such demand that they can only dash in and grab their coffee.

I also flinch when people say they're 'running late' as opposed to just plain late. I think, again, it's an attempt to imply that it's beyond their control and somehow not their fault.

I think running late is a slightly different thing than being late. If I’m due to meet a friend at, say 2 and I get stuck at the doctor’s for longer than I planned for I might text ‘I’m running late - appointment delayed’ but then I might be able to catch up the time if the appointment is quick or I’m able to rearrange other things I was planning to do between doc and meeting her. Then I’d text and say ‘caught up. See you at 2’. The running late doesn’t of itself mean being late, it just makes it a possibility

eggandonion · 20/04/2026 11:18

Doctors are always running late. Even if you have the first appointment.

CoffeeCantata · 20/04/2026 12:05

TheDelcosArabiaNSoul · 20/04/2026 11:02

I blame that mockney twat Jamie Oliver.

Oh, and 'cheeky', when applied to all kinds of things...glasses of wine, knob of butter etc etc - I think Jamie started that!

I like his recipes and I think he plays the Cockney likely lad but is actually a very highly-trained and accomplished chef. So stop with the persona, Jamie!

ChocolateCinderToffee · 20/04/2026 12:23

isthismylifenow · 20/04/2026 10:32

Then there is throw.

It seems to be used quite a lot in cooking videos.

Do xyz, then throw in some mushrooms.
Throw in a can of soup
Throw in some spices

What is this throwing in business? Are you taking 10 paces back from the pot or what?

Add in some spices.
Even put them in the pot. But throwing them in seems quite dramatic.

What I hate in cooking programmes is the inclusion of redundant prepositions. Ainsley Harriot is particularly bad for this. You don't just cook or boil or fry, you cook or boil up or down, you fry off . . . and on it goes. I mean, why?

MoreNewThings · 20/04/2026 12:25

Fascinating thread. Full of the usual snobbery, ignorance, prejudices and humour that I come to Mumsnet for!

My take from this is that some southern English people say 'cuppa' and some Northern English people say 'brew'. We Scots mostly don't say either, but will say 'a cup o' tea' which might sound like cuppa but isn't the intention. The 'tea' part is almost always there.

My granny used to say 'tassie o' tea' (old Scots word for cup) and I sometimes say this to wind up the DC.

Re. the meal, I've read that the definition of dinner is the main meal of the day, and for workers that was usually midday, to give them sustenance throughout the afternoon's labour. They then had something lighter when work was over, around the time when posh people were having their afternoon tea. This tea-time meal became shortened to just 'tea'. The posh folk had their dinner later in the evening. Supper is defined as the last meal of the day, so that might be your midnight snack, or your dinner, or your tea, if you don't have anything later.

I use all the terms - tea if I'm eating early, supper if I'm eating late, dinner if I'm eating out. A supper (with article) or suppers (plural) if it's from the chippy. (White pudding supper - delicious!)

There's no right or wrong, despite what others declare. To each their own!

eggandonion · 20/04/2026 12:34

A wee cup of tea in your hand in Northern Ireland might come with a traybake but it isn't your tea!
Northern Irelands main annoyance is wee. Put the wee card in the wee machine and put in your wee pin number. Do you want a wee bag ? Take your wee card and do you want a wee receipt?

IamaBluebird · 20/04/2026 12:38

A nice cuppa tea , always offered by my beautiful Welsh nan. Had to be in a china cup and saucer too .

Auroraloves · 20/04/2026 12:47

isthismylifenow · 20/04/2026 10:32

Then there is throw.

It seems to be used quite a lot in cooking videos.

Do xyz, then throw in some mushrooms.
Throw in a can of soup
Throw in some spices

What is this throwing in business? Are you taking 10 paces back from the pot or what?

Add in some spices.
Even put them in the pot. But throwing them in seems quite dramatic.

I tried this once, kitchen was a mess especially after I whacked it all in the oven

CoffeeCantata · 20/04/2026 13:04

ConstantlyFuriosa · 20/04/2026 10:13

It’s really not that deep. No one is ‘judging’ - it’s just about silly verbal annoyances, surely?

Yes - the whole point is that most of these annoyances are very personal and completely illogical!

It's the same with words that people hate - it's not prejudice or judging, just a weird personal thing. One of my pet hates is longer/more complicated words being used when a simpler, shorter version is available. I don't like 'purchase' when 'buy' will do, or 'prior to' instead of 'before'. But that's just me!

Sometimes the longer word is necessary - if it has a specific or technical meaning - but on the whole I think it's better stylistically to use simpler, shorter words.

SmellycatSmelllycat · 20/04/2026 18:36

I heard someone say they were just nipping into the shop to get some “brew bags” today after reading this thread and had to come back to post because I knew some people on here would understand my feelings of sheer rage 😆.

I think the woman who I overheard needs locking up for crimes against humanity for using such an irritating phrase.

I am northern and hear people constantly offering or asking for a “brew” but it’s the first time I’ve heard someone say “brew bags”.
I don’t drink hot drinks and agree with others on the thread who don’t partake in this annoying ritual and find it frustrating that people are such slaves to a kettle.
I rarely have coffee or tea at home but have a big variety of soft drinks. People act like I’m depriving them of something that keeps them alive by the way they react!

OonaStubbs · 20/04/2026 18:44

People round here say "mash" for making tea, as in "are you mashing?", or have you mashed yet?"

LapisBlue · 20/04/2026 18:46

I worked with someone who used to offer her boss "a cup". Maximum shudder.

AccordingToWhom · 20/04/2026 18:51

SmellycatSmelllycat · 20/04/2026 18:36

I heard someone say they were just nipping into the shop to get some “brew bags” today after reading this thread and had to come back to post because I knew some people on here would understand my feelings of sheer rage 😆.

I think the woman who I overheard needs locking up for crimes against humanity for using such an irritating phrase.

I am northern and hear people constantly offering or asking for a “brew” but it’s the first time I’ve heard someone say “brew bags”.
I don’t drink hot drinks and agree with others on the thread who don’t partake in this annoying ritual and find it frustrating that people are such slaves to a kettle.
I rarely have coffee or tea at home but have a big variety of soft drinks. People act like I’m depriving them of something that keeps them alive by the way they react!

AAAAAARRRRGH NOOOOOOOO!

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