To holiday without SC?

[Sunshinecraving]

DP and I don’t have shared finances, we earn fairly similar but he pays a lot in maintenance etc to SCs mum, so I have more spare cash. We share a toddler. It’s been a hard year.

I want to go for a week in the sun with toddler. It would cost around 2k. Taking SC and DP with us would cost more like 8k, which I can’t afford (and to be honest wouldn’t be relaxing at all) and nor could DP.

AIBU to just go anyway?

Just you and your toddler? That seems fine I can't see an issue with that. Obviously would be different if all three of you went without SC

I’d be happy for DP to come too but equally happy if he didn’t!

He must have a lot of kids?

Two teens, opposite sex who fight like cat and dog and wouldn’t share a room. So difference between one hotel room or a three bed villa, plus flights, food, entertaining them

2k to 8k is a big jump. How many step children would be going?

It’d need to be in school holiday time which makes it a lot more

Oops I see your answer. We’ve posted at the same time.

I’d still price this up properly and see what the actual difference would be as 8k compared to 2k is really a worst case scenario. Also consider wether the teens would even want to come with you both and toddler, they may not be interested which would be easier

So you and your toddler, totally fine.

The 3 of you, also fine, assuming he’s going to take his children away solo for a holiday of their own.

If they are vastly different ages, holidays can be tricky. Mine are 5 years apart and they do appreciate separate holidays (and we do that sometimes), because an 8 year old is not going to enjoy the same sort of holiday as a 3 year old. I now have a teen and she likes spa trips and meals out and outdoor pursuits, whereas little one just wants to dig in the sand.

It’s fine as long as they get the same time with their dad. That said, £2k is an awful lot of money for a holiday with a toddler (presumably in term time), unless you’re going long haul or for 2 weeks. You can absolutely do that cheaper so he still has money to do something with his dc.

When I had sc we used to take mine away. His ex wouldn't let dsd come so solved the issue..
Apparently it wasn't fair if she had a great time and she wasn't there to share in that.
Same woman who had taught dsd to put tissue in the loo before a poo. Dsd used to have a hissy fit if we didn't!

Just for flights, it’s £650 for me and toddler in September, or £4.5k for all of us in school holidays.

To be honest I wouldn’t be up for spending 2k to holiday with SC (or 4k if we went halves) because like I said, they fight a lot and secondly, DP would be spending all his time entertaining them so I may as well just go with toddler anyway.

It’s fine for you and the toddler to go. It’s not ok for your DP to go if he is only going to take one out of his three children.

We don’t share finances though, so me booking a cheaper break makes no difference to his finances

Genuine question. If you feel like this, why have you entered into a relationship and had a further child, with a man who already has children?

Three years ago they got on well! Puberty has not been kind to the eldest!

Have you talked to him about it? Does he want to go?

Personally, I think it's absolutely fine to go without your SC. If finances were shared it might be a bit trickier if they weren't getting a holiday but you're spending your money on your kid. That's fair enough!

Unrelated but when I was 15 I missed out on a blended family holiday to Turkey for 2 weeks because I wanted to meet up with my ex boyfriend. He cancelled on me. Had a nice 2 weeks with my grandma tho

unless he also takes his dc on their own holiday then I think this would be likely to cause some upset for the step children

Ok. But that is to be expected surely? Most teenagers are….unpleasant for a time?

I’ve said I need a sunny holiday and he’s made non-committal noises hence why I’m researching now. He’s actually on a weekend away with SC at the moment, we have a UK beach week with them in May and a camp trip in August but they’re both already saying they don’t want to go camping.

They’re welcome to be unpleasant to their dad whilst I’m sunning myself elsewhere!

I don't see an issue with you taking your own child on holiday. I appreciate some people might not think anything of your dh joining you without the sc if they get a holiday abroad with their mum or him on his own. I think he should consider how he would feel going on holiday without them and that should help him decide whether he should join you or not.

If they already don't want to go camping and then their dad goes off on a "better" holiday with his new child I can't imagine that will go down well.

wtf is the relevance of the toilet comment? So what?

Your partner has 3 kids so he has to take them if he goes on any holiday I guess .

however no problem with you going alone with your own child .
I think the only time he could go without his other kids is if it were the same time they go away with their mum .