To holiday without SC?

[Sunshinecraving]

DP and I don’t have shared finances, we earn fairly similar but he pays a lot in maintenance etc to SCs mum, so I have more spare cash. We share a toddler. It’s been a hard year.

I want to go for a week in the sun with toddler. It would cost around 2k. Taking SC and DP with us would cost more like 8k, which I can’t afford (and to be honest wouldn’t be relaxing at all) and nor could DP.

AIBU to just go anyway?

or tell them the Easter bunny ate their tickets - that’s more believable. Who would believe that excuse?! At least do them the favour of being honest and upfront. Zero problem OP and toddler going away, it’s a non issue. More tricky if her husband comes - if they want to be fair, dad needs to do something with older kids.

Go, with or without your DH, it seems the SC are well loved and cared for and seem use to a blended family, dad is doing plenty with them. I get there are a few pangs but that’s because you care

I love and care for them, and I do as much for them as DP when they’re here. But their behaviour isn’t the greatest, and my life is very busy and full-on. Normally, 100% of my holidays is spent with them. I don’t think wanting a week off a year from either stepparenting or work is unreasonable.

Completely fine, and when not restricted to school holidays I bet you could get it for well under 2k.

We always took my 2 dc and our 1 dc. I wouldn’t have gone without them. My exh who had 2 dc to me, 2 to second wife and 1 child plus 3 step kids to third wife massively struggled to take all away. He did buy a tent and go camping once a year with them all. But he did go abroad with his family with 3rd wife once a year too.
I explained to my dc that they go away with me and dh. Their sisters go away with their mum and her partner but his youngest dc and step kids wouldn’t get a holiday (other than camping) unless their dad took them (stepkids don’t see their dad)

I’m not sure why you are even questioning this

What you have suggested sounds fine OP

@asdbaybeeee ,that does not compare to OP's situation. OP is the one paying for the trip and it's
either a. her + her 1 under 12
or
b. DP + 2 over 12 who aren't hers +her + 1 under 12.

Just go. If he's a decent man he ll be wishing you a great time

Did your DP agonise like this before taking his teens away without taking his toddler child?

thought not.

That's awful. Either the whole family goes or noone goes. You can't possibly be selfish enough to think it's ok to leave children out of a holiday so you can enjoy yourself!!

Go and enjoy yourself with your little one.

Not at all. And make sure you stop doing as much for them as your partner.

You’ve got limited time with your toddler before you’re pigeonholed into taking breaks during school holidays so make the most of it. Even if you went with DH so long as he also took his kids away at some point that is fair. If he isn’t up for it you go.