AIBU to work from home with children there after school short term?

[ThatiswhereIamat]

We have had a nightmare with childcare recently. Our dcs wrap around care closed (part way through the year in Feb!) which meant we were limited for options as most childminders booked up and so we opened for an after school nanny but we have had two one who got another job with more hours which was fair enough and another who has been so unreliable with calling in sick every week.

From September our options will open up again hopefully. My AIBU is that between now and then if we use family help a couple of days a week but having the kids at home one or two days a week whilst we finish off work? The are 4 and 6.

i manage a large team and I don’t think it’s appropriate to be working with children at home. It’s not really fair on anyone but I know lots of people do it, and we don’t really have a choice.

When you say "We"... are you meaning two parents WFH?

Can you flex your hours, starting at 7am for example, and catch up later if necessary, one day each?

What are your hours? Is there any opportunity for flexibility for a short and agreed timeframe? E.g start at x time, work through lunch, finish at 4 (or whatever is agreed) or log back on after they’ve gone to bed. Whilst not ideal, it’s for a short period.

I’d be less concerned with a couple hours a days two days a week and more concerned with childcare options available to you over half term and the summer holiday’s.

I think as a one off emergency you can justify it.

But otherwise, you know you shouldn’t be doing it… extremely annoying it’s so hard to find childcare, but when you’re paid to be at work you should be working not doing the school run.

So for around 12w then till end of term in July

what does your wok contract say about wfh and childcare

can you try and book play/tea dates on the days of no cover and return play date at weekend ?

are we talking 1.5hrs a day - 330-5 ish ?

not ideal

but if kids good and watch tv /draw /read /play nicely it may be doable short term

Obv look for childcare /nanny agency if need be

We’ve done this a handful of times when childcare has fallen through eg after school club cancelled due to a heating issue (our children are the same age as yours, DD2’s nursery is at DD1’s school and uses the same after school club).

Obviously it depends on the children, but really, it’s fine. They watch more tv than we’d normally allow. But other than that, a non-issue. We would finish any work off after the went to bed, but we don’t really need to. A few interruptions from them is no different to chatting to a colleague for 10 mins in the work kitchen.

Although it probably helps that it is only occasional, both of us are there, and they play nicely together. I don’t know how well it would work as a more regular thing.

If this is every day, then that is too long depending on your hours. You say you will ask family to help so it would only be 1-2 days, but is that guaranteed (as if it had been why were you using nannies?). Your children are quite young to be left alone while you work in your office (and are likely to be demanding e.g wanting snacks, drinks, wanting to tell you something).
It would depend on whether you are able to blank you diary out from 3-5 (assuming your hours finish then) and then you worked these 2 hours 8-10 once the kids are in bed. This would be a discussion you would need to ask your workplace. Some would be fine with it (and have core hours 10-2 for meetings) but some would say that it's not possible. What they allow for you sets a precedent so it depends on their flexible working policy.

I work a Friday afternoon from home with my 4 year old here as she finishes nursery at 1pm. It’s honestly fine and she plays away just fine or we put on a film.

I have done full days with her before. Not once has my work suffered because of this

Do you have children who won't disturb you? Mine are that age and would absolutely play for 90 minutes without interrupting me if told to, in which case I can't see why it would be a problem. But, based on the many children that come to our house, they are better behaved than most 😂

Depends on the ages of the kids and the nature of your work, eg whether they are likely to interrupt meetings.

I have done it in an emergency! I wouldn’t do it regularly though.

It depends on your job and your children. If having them there will impact on you being able to do your job properly then no you shouldn't be doing it.

We do this all the time in the holidays because the latest camp pick up is 4pm. I would never do it for a whole day but it’s fine when they’ve had a busy day to come home and watch some TV and have a snack. You know your own kids best though and whether they’re likely to disturb you. Mine don’t fortunately so long as they have everything they need- snacks, drinks, remote, switch controllers and strict instructions not to squabble!

We aren't far off the end of A level exams in may. Any prospect of employing a local teenager to walk them home and keep them occupied in the house while you work?

Clearly that depends on the child, my children are older now but no way would they have left me alone for several hours while I worked and the OP has two children

You had a complaint happy to watch a film child, not all children are the same 😁

I think it’s fine, with the caveat that it depends on the work and children.

I think this largely depends on the flexibility of your role and the behaviour of your DC. I could’ve done this with mine at that age, albeit with them watching tv or causing chaos with paint, glitter, glue etc but they’ve always been kids that can sit and focus. My niece and nephew however aren’t capable of sitting quietly for 5 mins without interrupting. They constantly need something, communicate by screaming or want attention and they’re both much older. No way anyone could work through that.

If your role is pretty rigid, you need to be available at set times or answer the phone then I’d advise against it. If you can pick things up and have some flexibility it can work.

Yes we’ve routinely done this since DD1 started school with no issues, they are both pretty happy amusing themselves! I quite often see a school-aged kid in the background of colleagues on Teams, just watching TV or walking past, including my boss, so it’s not something I’ve ever thought about really.

@busyd4yI dont believe anywhere in my post I did claim that all children were the same?
I was giving my experience of working from home with children

You’ve answered your own question when you said you don’t think it’s appropriate. Personally I don’t think it’s appropriate either. Emergency as a one off fine, long term no,

Me and DH have done this since our kids were 5, two days a week. We just move our lunch break 3-4pm, and the kids are are so tired from school anyway, have downtime til 5:30 and give us no trouble. Several people on my team do this. Our office policy is employees can do this with school-age children only.

I work from home occasionally with the kids here (5 and 8) but it’s rarer and rarer as it just isn’t a very effective way to spend my time - I certainly can’t give work my full attention - possibly about 50% (and sometimes 0%!). Basically I end up beating myself up for working and parenting badly so I’d rather get up early and get the work done instead. I don’t work fixed hours and if I did I know that absolutely wouldn’t work.

Its not just having the kids around while trying to work.
Its the essential break at 2.45 to be at school for 3, and not working again til 3.20 that suppers many afternoon meetings.
Lunch breaks can be flexible, is required. This is non negotiable in terms of timing, and frequency.

My work are really flexible with WFH but due to the sensitive nature of some calls we make/receive this is a no no. A colleague had real issue keeping her children amused/quiet and clients complained.

Other thing to think about is if you are on an office based role and could potentially need to go in or attend a meeting or training you can’t say no, no childcare..
I think yours are at young end to be unsupervised and not interrupt for 2 hours. Junior school age up should be ok if told not to disturb. It also depends on workplace and your culture.

Thanks for all the replies.

It’s absolutely not ideal and of course would not be my preference and is only for the short term. I am exasperated with it because I want to work but finding decent childcare makes it so difficult.

i often see parents picking up at the gate on my non working days and they always so oh I work from home but I just don’t understand how you can focus and get stuff done. I think if it was the one 6 year old it would be fine but the smaller one is trickier.