AIBU to work from home with children there after school short term?

[ThatiswhereIamat]

We have had a nightmare with childcare recently. Our dcs wrap around care closed (part way through the year in Feb!) which meant we were limited for options as most childminders booked up and so we opened for an after school nanny but we have had two one who got another job with more hours which was fair enough and another who has been so unreliable with calling in sick every week.

From September our options will open up again hopefully. My AIBU is that between now and then if we use family help a couple of days a week but having the kids at home one or two days a week whilst we finish off work? The are 4 and 6.

i manage a large team and I don’t think it’s appropriate to be working with children at home. It’s not really fair on anyone but I know lots of people do it, and we don’t really have a choice.

I think it's definitely doable short term (I do it sometimes if ad-hoc childcare issues with my 8 and 11year old) but long term I don't think fair on the kids really (especially with the 4yr old) as they should have an adults attention and not have to be quiet in their home etc.

From 10 years onwards though - they are absolutely fine after school as they just want to chill and watch TV or get their homework done etc

Depends how comfortable you would be with your seniors finding out. Also if you have Teams calls, phone calls, etc, nothing sounds less professional than children in the background!

I used to work for someone whose calls were constantly interrupted by his children, and his wife was allegedly looking after them. I complained in the end because it was affecting my job.

I take my "lunch" hour from 3-4 to do the school run, then DH starts early so he finishes at 4 to take over. I don't think WFH with two kids will be very good for anyone unfortunately. The kids are going to need you.

So you’d take your 2 year old to the office? That would be ok? Because that’s what you’re doing if you WFH and have a 2 year old with you

I WFH during the school holidays because I don’t have childcare, my children are now 10 & 14 but we’ve been doing it since lockdown ended so for 5 years. At the start I was on a telephone based job so the kids did have to learn to be quieter and leave me alone or check before coming in, they did learn generally, but they could pop in when I wasn’t in a call or be nearby as long as quiet. I probably wasn’t as productive in my work, but as it was only for holidays it didn’t impact on my overall performance. Fortunately my managers have always been understanding. It’s definitely easier now they are older and I’m admin based

I don’t work from home and if I did I wouldn’t do so with my two year old here. I would with a four year old for short bursts though. The specific bit I was replying to was about ‘full attention.’ Some children do need your full attention all the time; some don’t.

Go for it. You won’t get much done so either power up and do more in the hours before or log in after they go to sleep if you need to finish anything. I “work” from home with my kids when childcare isn’t available. Not the end of the world. And before the MN employment police comes for me, IDGAF if it’s the wrong thing to do. I always deliver so what if my kids are around for a couple hours? I block off my calendar so no meetings at that time, and I monitor Teams for any emergencies.

What would you do if you weren’t WFH? Cos that’s what every parent who doesn’t have WFH flexibility has to do!

So why do schools and childcare settings provide constant supervision?

Would you pop to the shop and leave your 4 year old if the shop was just across the road?

I pick up my 6yr old grandson from school 2 days a week and have done since he started school, from September I'll be picking up his younger brother too. I wfh full time and on the school pick up days I use my lunchbreak to go get them at 3pm, and start work half an hour early. I bring them home, get them settled with snacks, drinks, telly and whatever else they might need and then continue to work for about an hour. I try not to book meetings for the hours I have the boys but if I have to then they know not to bother me when Im talking on my laptop. Works fine for us, depends on your job and the children I guess. Don't beat yourself up, if your work isn't suffering then there is no issue and even if it is slightly, speak to your line manager as its only going to be short term, Im sure there could be some answers such as a drop in hours for the next couple of months.

They don’t, in the same way you mean anyway. I don’t like being argumentative for the sake of it but ‘full attention’ and ‘supervised’ are different. This morning, my dd was playing downstairs quite happily on her own. I was in the house but upstairs putting washing away, then cleaning the kitchen, even popping out to the garden where the wheelie bins are.

I wouldn’t WFH with a two year old because they aren’t as predictable but I also have a five year old and could certainly get some work done while he watched tv or similar.

Are we talking about for an hour after work? I think that is doable especially since there are two of you. Sometimes continuing to work after bedtime and waking up early.

Doesn’t it depend on your contract? I wouldn’t allow my employees to do this at all except in an emergency

I think yes you can do this as long as your work input and outcomes are the same as always.

I do some wfh and I am then able to do school runs and drop to clubs but I work evenings on these days so my hours are still the same.

Be mindful if your staff see you doing this though they will quite rightly expect the same so ensure you have ‘proof’ for the earlier starts or your evening work in case it was ever questioned.

What does your manager say?

I also think it’s a sign of the times - many people wfh with a child, you can’t stop working (and having that income) just for a few months of childcare issues.
If you get the kids in a routine of after school snack, tv and toys (rotate them on the days you need them paying!) I think they will adapt too.

Either your work expectations are far too low or your child is receiving very poor care if you have done full days at work with a pre school child to no detriment to your normal workload.

You know your children and your work load/role/company and whether this would be achievable.

If you think it is and you have your line managers approval, then why not. If you do it without following your workplace policies that could land you in hot water.

No I don’t think it’s appropriate. If you have a job where 10+ hours a week you can focus on your kids, do they really need you in that role?

I think being open and transparent with your boss/company/team is key here. You’ve also referenced non working days in a reply…is there a possibility that you and your OH could potentially flex your hours over the next few weeks until school summer hols to make it work somehow? As a line manager I would always try and support my team to make these situations work as it’s not forever as as a parent I get it. I’m sure it’ll work out fine just a pain for you guys to have a bit of uncertainty over the next few weeks. Good luck OP x

I don't think you should at that age, if there was an accident and one of them got hurt while you were in a call I don't think it would be a great look.

I think flexing your hours to school times over more days is more sensible.

People on MN are really weird about this but I don’t see the issue. You can muddle through until September, whilst not ideal (for you I mean, it’s hard to both parent your children and work from home!) you don’t have any other choice.
We had a similar situation when DS started school and couldn’t get wraparound care for 3 days of the week. We took it in turns and managed to muddle through until more spaces opened up when he went in to year one.

So when you say people on MN are "weird" about this, you mean they are saying the exact same thing as you - it's not ideal and it's not possible to adequately parent a child and work at the same time, but if OP really has no other choice she might have to muddle through until September?

What are you planning to do in the school holidays, OP? You might be able to "muddle through" a couple of hours after school, but I don't think it's viable with that age of children for whole days.

I manage a large team in an intense corporate environment and I pickup 1-2 days a week at 3/4pm. It is child and role dependent though. I have reasonable control of my own diary/time and my children are used to it now and will do homework/relax (eldest was early primary during Covid lockdown).

Many employers have a policy in place that you shouldn’t be supervising children younger than 8/10. I never enforced it with my team unless it became apparent it was impacting their work. You need to read your company culture and management - some it is better to keep quiet, others better to be upfront. Are others in your company doing it?

The summer holidays are different though - days here and there it is fine to do a whole day at home, but my children find it difficult so I break it up with summer camps, relatives, ad hoc annual leave etc and try not to do more than 1-2 days at home while I’m working.

You can't work with a 4&6 year old present. Either you'll get no work done, or you'll take your eye off them and they'll get hurt.

Childcare infrastructure in the UK is patchy, unreliable, has restrictive hours, and expensive. I have no family to rely on so had to become a stay at home parent while DH works.

I do but I work 8-4. Have my lunch break 3-3.30. The last half hour i save for admin so I know that if I need to I can just log on for half hour later on without issue instead.

Honestly this depends on your work and your children. Officially my company doesn't allow it for children under 11, but there is a bit of flexibility for emergencies. However 12 weeks would be pushing the definition of emergency. Also my oldest would've been fine at 6 (not 4), my youngest still sometimes forgets about not disturbing me at 10 and there is still a chance they'll argue if left alone together.