Entitled spider in my kitchen

[Definetelynotanathlete]

So this is mostly a rant about the spiders. I absolutely hate them.
My DC and I went away yesterday for overnight trip to visit my friend. Before we left, I checked everything is turned off, windows are closed etc. I noticed empty glass in my DD bedroom and I took it downstairs and left it by the sink. We got back this evening and after I cooked the dinner, I put everything in the dishwasher. Then I pick up the glass and there was a gigantic spider at the bottom and he spun a bit of the cobweb at the bottom of the glass. I swear he was so big, I could see his teeth or whatever you call them. What is he doing in my kitchen is the question I ask?! I thought the rule is, that massive house spiders live outside in the spring/summer and try to come inside the house in the autumn. But oh no! This asshole was prancing around my kitchen counter while I was gone. I don’t actually know if he was a male but I assume he was as he had the audacity to disturbed my peace in my own home😂

Yep, it’s his house now, time to move on.

We had Esmerelda who lived in our living room and would run across every evening. She disappeared, then Daughter of Esmerelda arrived some time after. We miss them 😀

Just let the poor thing go - in the garden if you can't cope with it in your house. I can't believe you are about to spray your house with hideous chemicals, rather than just being an adult about it.

I studied entomology as part of my Biology degree, so I'm OK with creepy crawlies ( but enjoy them more outside of my home).

I found a tomato stalk in the sink. Picked it up wondering when we last had a tomato with a stalk and had it within a foot of my face inspecting it.

One log popped out, then the entire thing sprung open like stiff plastic that wants to return to its flat natural state and ran up my arm. A giant house spider a good 3" big.

All I wanted to do was rock in the corner soothing myself for a hour afterwards.

The fact that I had it right up in my face and I didn't realise it was a spider was just so wrong. If I had known I wouldn't have picked it up in the first place with bare hands. Don't ask me why but I can pick them up outside. Not inside

Urgh, they're so entitled

Fed up with the way their webs catch in my hair in the garden, which I know technically is their actual home, but still.

I like to pretend Australia doesn't exist.

🤣🤣

I like spiders. I mean, I don’t want them on me, but happy for them to share our house as long as they don’t make too many webs. I had a really very impressive one in the corner of a doorway when we got back from holiday and I was too lazy to remove it left it there as a Halloween decoration.

I desperately want a gecko to live behind my fridge.

Show the eight-legged one the hoover.

Gets rid of a manchild every time.

Hope you released him.

We had one lived in the hole that the sash cord in the window went through. He was called Avici!

Oh no. It was begging to be adopted 😔

DH picked one up today and took it outside but it somehow crawled out of his hand and started walking up his sleeve. In the garden he shook it off but didn't see it land anywhere. A few minutes later, he thought he felt the spider inside his sleeve so took his shirt off, no sign of it and thought he was imagining it.

Half an hour later, the spider appeared crawling out of his collar! DD caught it and took it outside and this time, we definitely saw him leave. I need a lie down.

<< shudder >>

Reminds me of the meme:

What if the spider you killed in your home had spent his entire life thinking you were his room mate?

You ever think about that?

No. You only think about yourself.

This

I know! And the tank must have been all there and inviting from its POV.

Hoover him! If I’m home alone they get the hoover but if husband is here he will catch them but I make him walk across the road to release it!

All spiders are entitled little wossnames.

If it was a house spider, then most likely female, the males don't really make home-base webs, once they're mature enough to dare to show their faces in public they are hunting for ladies and just hunt for food as they go. Ladies however make a nice home web somewhere convenient (for them, not you) and live there permanently if you don't disturb them.

Female spiders typically have a big butt (bigger when full or when ready to lay eggs) and no 'boxing gloves' on their pedipalps (short front 'feelers'). Males have skinny butts and boxing gloves on and are typically smaller than females (though some may have smaller bodies but a longer leg span).

As far as house spiders are concerned though they live in our houses all year round. The females stay put, the males lurk around avoiding getting eaten, and at the end of summer the urge hits them and they go wandering looking for a good time (to the point of not eating or drinking, getting into fights with other spiders and potentially getting murdered by Mrs Right), which is when we see them more frequently and in more surprising places.

I've got one of those spider catcher things. Will link. It's brilliant and means you can safely put them outside while keeping them well away from you and not hurting them.

NIFTII Spider Catcher with Long Handle Tool Humane Indoor Outdoor Spider Catchers for Home & Garden. DIY.com

I love this. I wish I had a pet gecko. I actually live somewhere where they live so maybe one day one will appear behind my fridge..

https://www.youtube.com/shorts/Xx1rZN8FeJg

You're welcome!

If you let the cellar spiders stay, you don't get the big ones as they keep them away! (There's videos on YouTube of cellar spiders attacking house spiders!)

Your thread title has made me laugh, op. My mum has an entitled crow in her garden that she was telling me about recently. 😂

I know spiders are helpful, and I never kill them (my 9yo dd removes them for me) but I think I'd rather have an entitled crow.

we had one on the kitchen window for months, sad when he left.

For spiders, the females are generally bigger and dominant, so it is unlikely it was a male..

I hate them, but my son loves them and cries when I kill them...

So now they go outside to live in the trees.. and thankfully he is too young to have learned that putting indoor spiders outside results in them dying..

That said, the spiders we have here (not UK) are generally a lot smaller. We mostly get these little tiny jumping ones. They are only probably about half the size of a 5p coin... But they can spring about and jump from thing to thing, which can make them hard to catch.

If you are a reader, try "children of time" - it's a novel where a civilization of spiders grows on an empty planet... Actually really helped me become less fearful and hateful of them.