A couple of months ago we were at my MIL’s and while we were in another room, we heard her REALLY shout at our DD7 for accidentally closing a box on her brothers hand (he didn’t cry). DD was beside herself at how Nanny had shouted, so we left quite quickly and I promised my DD that she would never have to go again if she didn’t feel safe. MIL rang the next day, and asked to apologise to her, which she did and all was left.
A month or so later, she asked to have both children for a sleepover, we agreed. When I collected them the next morning, DD told me Nanny hit DS5 during a board game because DD was cheating, DS was furious about the cheating, and was shouting and screaming at his sister to stop. He’s very justice sensitive and hates cheating! MIL apparently shouted “shut up” in his face, then smacked him. I told DH, and he rang her to ask what happened. She said “it was just a tap” and didn’t think she’d done anything wrong. But it was enough that it was the first thing they told me on pick up. She didn’t apologise this time.
I’ve said I don’t feel comfortable with her looking after my children again. She can still see the kids, but always with one of us present. DH keeps pushing me to let me have them in the school holidays, as “she’s not a bad person”. We’ve never touched our children, and would never smack them and family know this.
AIBU to refuse to let her have the children unsupervised?