My husband (34M) and I (33F) had our first child in November, and we’re currently planning his christening, including choosing godparents.
We're Anglican so the usual approach is two godparents of the same gender and one of the other (although no strict limit).
My husband has a close group of friends he’s known since childhood, and they're all godparents to each other’s children. His friend group are all Catholic (they all went to school together), I'm only including this because I know choosing godparents is slightly different in Catholicism and that might be relevant to the dispute.
He’s chosen two of his male friends as godfathers. I’ve asked my best friend to be the godmother, and a very close male friend of mine to be another godfather, so four total. The other male friend of mine is a vicar.
The issue is that one of the men he’s chosen is married, and we haven’t asked his wife to be a godmother. There are a few reasons for that, but mainly it’s because I'm not actually friends with her. We get along perfectly well in group settings, but I don’t really know her, I've met her maybe half a dozen times total, and I don’t feel comfortable asking someone I don’t know well to take on something this meaningful.
She’s now very irritated, I think partly because there’s a bit of a tradition in their group of asking couples together to be godparents, and also because, since we’re already having four godparents, she feels it shouldn’t matter if there are five and she doesn't want to be left out of the ceremony.
My husband is asking me to give in and include her to keep the peace, but I feel quite strongly about not capitulating. To me, this isn’t just a random thing to do, it’s a significant role and it should mean something. Plus, the only reason we’ve gone beyond the traditional three is because I'd really like my friend Mike (the vicar) to be his godfather, he's helped me through a lot.
I'm really not sure what to do now, stick to my guns or just accept it and let her be the godmother?