Pizza etiquette

[firstofallimadelight]

In-laws bought a pizza oven last year so almost every visit now involves pizza. I do like pizza but only really margarita. Ils put thick chunks of veg on their pizzas that don’t cook and shield the dough underneath so you end up with soggy pizza. They also dont ask what toppings people want. This time I said could one pizza be plain and they looked at me like I had two heads!! They did make it but then made a deal of handing me my ‘special’ pizza (I’m willing to bet I’m not the only one who would have preferred it!)
I think pizza is like sandwiches people should get a say in what they want.
Dh thinks it’s weird to request a pizza topping (and clearly so do mil and fil)

am I unreasonable to ask for a specific topping?

They are being very rude. It's not like you asked for marshmallows and whipped cream on it, or some kind of rare and expensive truffle, you just wanted tomato and cheese which is easier for them! When I order in pizzas for DDs' mates, loads of them just like margarita, as does DD1.

you don't like your MIL and i guess she doesn't care that much about you, so why worry about annoying or "upsetting" her (insofar as it is reasonable to be unreasonable about pizza toppings)

So: you say every time "don't forget i want a special pizza" and if there is any pushback "you don't make the others properly, the veg and the dough aren't cooked properly"

Folks, it spelled margherita because it was named after Queen Margherita at the time. It was made in her honor. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pizza_Margherita

A margarita is a Mexican alcoholic cocktail.

Yes I bloody hate this. BBQ chicken, pulled pork, mince, big bits of flabby chicken all absolutely revolting on pizza. Especially if more than one of the above are included. Should be banned.

The entire contents of a fridge drawer and tinned sweetcorn rippled over a margherita, also revolting.

Any two from the following, peppers, broccoli, asparagus, spinach, onion, chilli, mushrooms plus a nice meat like nduja, pepperoni, pancetta, prosciutto etc with a nice cheese, delicious.

I really think there might be a case for better regulation of pizza toppings for the UK’s own good/ international reputation.

We have a pizza oven - a brilliant investment! If family/ friends are coming over for pizza, we send out a message on the group text asking what toppings people want or bring your own. We can then reference back to the chat when cooking and make to order. It's the only way that makes sense with pizza. As opposed to say a roast or a curry where you get what you given - though maybe choose your own accompaniments.

Surely if you're making a pizza you lay out a load of different toppings and people choose their own thats what we do when we make pizzas with the kids

I agree, BAN nduja, salami, broccoli, chilli and pepperoni.

YANBU. I don't eat pizza at al but have done pizza many times for social gatherings. I would always do a plain margherita pizza, then maybe a meat based one like chicken and mushroom as an alternative, but with the margherita being the default option.

I like pineapple on pizza and am quite happy to be a disgrace
Pineapple cuts the fat and spiciness of the pepperoni and I really enjoy the combination. My go to toppings, apart from the mozzarella and passata are fresh basil, onion, pepperoni, pineapple and sliced tomato. Lovely.

You should be able to pick what you would like.
I thought you were going to say that you had a dietary requirement and everyone wanted to have a slice of your pizza but you couldn’t eat a slice of theirs leaving you with hardly any pizza.

I need you as my friend. 😊

I used to work in a pizza restaurant. Our most popular pizza? Margarita.

me too. love a prosciutto and pineapple.

Well you need to woman up then.

Come on. The in-laws are awful. They are horrible to you and your child. And you don’t like their food!

Donner kebab and pineapple. There's a place nearby who does really good pizza.

Well I don’t think you totally get to choose when you’re a guest in someone’s home and they’re providing the meal … exactly like sandwiches!

But it’s not unreasonable to ask for plain, so they just omit the vegetables. It’s not like you’re asking for something completely different like pepperoni or bacon!

Sandwiches are very personal.
You'd get a tailored sandwich here.
And you get to decide how it's cut too (cafe cut, triangles or in half)

The novelty will hopefully wear off soon!!

Why is it a trap? It seems a pattern ripe for change. Just be "busy" once or twice and it's the norm.

I should go less but I’ve trapped myself in this situation where we visit as a family as opposed to my side where I visit on my own and dh comes about 3x a year!!

oh come on, @firstofallimadelight - just say "no". Who is it going to bother? your MIL? meh she doesn't like you. Your DH? who gets to choose for himself how often he visits your parents?

It’s easy to say just don’t go but we have been doing this for twenty years! The first ten (pre kids) were lovely I adored mil and fil. It was after DS was born it went downhill. And even then it was gradual not immediate and then again got worse after dn was born.
if I said I was busy dh wouldn’t go he would wait until a weekend I was free. Plus I do like to see dns I do have a close relationship with them. And for some reason the idea of seeing sil without mil and fil is unacceptable

You are in charge of your own happiness here. So you either don't go (or don't go as often) and are thus overall more happy, or you continue to go and continue not to be entirely happy for that amount of time.

I loathed my MIL she was a manipulative misogynistic ol' wagon. She didn't like any of her many daughters, and the sun shone out of my DHs backside (how do we know she didn't care for daughters? 6 before she stopped having kids when she had the boy she wanted as #7)

And when i realised, after a couple of years of her expecting everyone to run around her and Shiny Son when we went to visit (including me) and expressing disgust at my Horrible Evil Feminist Influence when he had no truck with that and cooked, washed up and made tea along with the rest of us, i decided i didn't need to bother. So i never ever visited again. And it was great.

Well then… either be honest and direct with them or continue to suck it up.

personally…. Nope, not going to spend lots of time with in-laws that I don’t like and don’t seem to like me

It honestly sounds like they don’t know how a pizza oven works….
Maybe a crash course in “dough and cheese first, COOKED veg with a little mozzarella next” might be needed.
I know you find your ILs difficult, but at least you could get halfway decent food??
or just don’t go. When DH says “let’s to visit mum” just say you’re unwell or have a headache, or feeling sick.

that's not how any pizza oven i've ever encountered works.

Finely cut veg is the answer...