How to handle my son's troubling far-right views and online influence

[TheCatCushions]

DS (14) is extremely bright, highly intelligent and adhd/autistic. He has recently been coming out with troubling views about wanting the UK to be all white again like in the 1950s, he talks about immigration and closing our borders and stopping the boats etc and doodles pictures of Hitler with worrying slogans. He has admitted to saying certain things deliberately to shock but he genuinely believes that the UK should be all white and compares us to say, Zimbabwe remaining all black.

He has not been brought up to think like this and I am concerned that he is going down a rabbit hole online. I teach him the benefits of other cultures and how the UK has evolved, what it means to be British has changed over time and that we are now multicultural. Although he is highly intelligent, he is also very black and white in his thinking.

He also believes that we should go back to the 1940s where it comes to gender roles and women need to stay at home and men be the providers. He also talks about feminism meaning women that hate men. I try my best to gently correct these views and question why he believes this.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? Thank you.

My only advice would be to question - not attack - his views and offer counter points. Where is he hanging around online? I’m a believer of free speech in it’s entirety so wouldn’t necessarily advocate removing all online access - can you watch some of the stuff he listens to together and discuss is afterwards?

I think the first thing you need to do is remove any access to social media/internet. His algorithyms will now be reinforcing this messaging and he needs to be completely away from these views.

My stepson has gone from being a labour supporter to being an active member of reform. He’s knows it’s not my point of view and we have respectful discussions about it and what I find problematic, but he is entitled to his own views and I respect that. I counteract what he says calmly and he counteracts what I say calmly and we agree to disagree. I still love him immensely and think he is a good person but we try and avoid politics

I would talk to his school and see whether they can help. Keep communication open as the last thing you want is him becoming isolated from you. Challenge his views but I'd be careful about making statements that just make him wrong or feel wrong for having these views (even though he is) because that will likely push him even further into these ideas. There have been a couple of documentaries made recently about this so maybe he and you could watch them together?

Zimbabwe is not all black. Speaking as a Zimbabwean. He is factually incorrect - I would pull him up on this as a point of fact leading to a discussion about where he is getting information from and the importance of fact checking.

I would also cut down social media access. His algorithm will be feeding this.

Do you have time to take him to museums / libraries to get factual, balanced information?

Thank you, I gently question him and we debate lots of different topics-he knows all there is to know about politics and retains an impressive amount of knowledge. What are the titles of these documentaries? Thanks!

Straight away I'd question the 'highly intelligent' bit. He may be quick-thinking, but intelligence also includes insight and the empathy with others, both of which he clearly lacks.
If his 'black and white thinking' also extends to race, then he is highly ignorant and lacking essential defining aspects of intelligence.

This. He has to be reading this stuff online. Remove his access and explain why. Some of his views if he writes them down are regarded as hate speech and regarded as a criminal offence. Explain that to him.

I would also seek help. That kind of extreme view suggests severe mental health issues.

If this is true, I hope you are OK and can find a way with dealing with it. It must be truly horrific to see your own child spiralling like this.

A perfect example of why we must follow other, more fast-acting, progressive countries in banning kids from social media.

Thank you. He loves museums and history. I am concerned about where he’s getting his facts from. What I find difficult is when he comes out with these “facts” is knowing how to answer him and not necessarily knowing the facts myself. I will teach him the importance of fact checking and reliable sources.

What I’m concerned about is his algorithm feeding these views and him only reading one type of view.

https://actearly.uk ACT Early Support Line 0800 011 3764.

You could look at this website and call the support line for advice?

It's really important that you get support early because his ASD will make him more vulnerable to extremism.

Well this is what comes of allowing underage minors unfettered internet access, unfortunately. Whether or not you can now row back is up for debate, Pandora’s box has been opened.

I would strongly encourage parents to only buy dumb phones and have a family computer in a communal area.

It’s 100% what he’s reading online. Does he have a smartphone and if so, do you check it? If you’re the bill payer, I’d argue that you should do random spot checks, not necessarily of private messages but certainly of apps/browsing history.

As another PP has said, the more he consumes, the more the algorithms will confirm to him that he’s ‘right’. He needs to understand that these are not just ‘alternative views’ (for which anyone has the right to believe) but beliefs and groups which could land him in trouble with hate crime laws. It’s a natural progression from where he’s at to Holocaust denial and neo naziism.

Time for a smartphone/device check and maybe even some time limits.

I found this great organisation that seems to help young men who get sucked into hate ideas online, might be worth a try: https://www.exithate.com/individualsupport#:~:text=We%20provide%20guidance%20via%20our,links%20to%20multiple%20support%20agencies.&text=You%20can%20also%20email%20us,as%20soon%20as%20we%20can.

This is actually a perfect scenario because what you can teach him here is the power of saying "I don't know very much about this to comment knowledgeably, let's sit down and look at the facts together". Then you can show him how to look for information, review multiple sources and get a balanced view.

Thank you, I’ll take a look.

Where the hell is he accessing this stuff for a start? I have a 13 year old and she has no access to social media and only very limited access to YouTube. She can ask to use it to watch specific things, we unlock it for the duration, check what content she has viewed, lock it again after. That will not change until she’s 16. There is no unfettered access to this sort of stuff, so his phone needs to be better managed for a start.

Beyond that, I think you need to get him out of his room, off his phone and in contact with some proper male role models.

I’d also consider being in touch with Prevent and asking for some advice. They do a lot of work with far right radicalisation and can hopefully connect you with some resources.

The main message I would reinforce is to keep these thoughts inside his own head and especially be very aware that anything he puts on social media is thete forever and may have implications for his adult life and career.
I tbink its just a rebellious phase and he is enjoing the power to shock people.

Ask him what he likes about Hitler.

I think you need to control his phone. I know nearly no-one does but I do, I think my teenagers need to be older before trying to face algorithms that are addictively trying to keep them there.

Discussion and saying the logical arguments on the other side, with as little of your opinion as you can would be my way to go.

Or just get rid of the evil smartphone rather than enabling him to have it then moaning about the very obvious consequences?

You need to get help urgently through Prevent
https://www.gov.uk/guidance/get-help-if-youre-worried-about-someone-being-radicalised

Black and white thinking is normal for us autistic people. I would regard myself as very intelligent but even as a mature adult, I struggle with grey areas.

I did wonder about this, as I've visited and don't remember it being all black.

@TheCatCushions , is he open to having a reasoned conversation that involves facts about Britain in the 1950s - declining economic superpower, dreadful social inequality, post-war austerity etc... And why the immigrants were invited?

Does he have the education or skilled job that can support a single income household or does heexpect a wife to embrace poverty?

I know many internet rabbit hole folks like to talk outside their tax bracket and knowledge base. If you aren't, get clued up on the topics he's speaking about so you can confidently counter his narrative.

I was also going to mention Prevent. All schools have yearly Prevent training as part of our safeguarding training. Talk to the school safeguarding team, they will be able to offer help and advice to you and your son and put him / you in touch with people that can support him.