Page 3 | How to handle my son's troubling far-right views and online influence

Dappy777 · 12/04/2026 13:03

What it means to be British has “changed over time” because we’ve had mass immigration and multiculturalism IMPOSED on us. No one asked for this profound change and no one voted for it. And then the Left have got the nerve to call Farage a fascist!! They’re the fascists. They’re the ones who have imposed a new identity on people - often against their wishes.

Unfortunately, your son has been captured by extremists. There is a hell of a difference between wanting tighter borders and supporting Hitler!! And wanting to preserve a sense of identity does not mean ‘racial purity’. Instead of dictating what he should think, why not point out those differences?

Thanks to mass immigration, I no longer live in a country with a shared history or shared culture or shared identity. I don’t know who I am anymore. In fact, my national identity has been taken away from me. But, though I hate the people responsible for this, I also despise those who promote genocidal maniacs like Hitler.

InterestedDad37 · 12/04/2026 13:04

dizzydizzydizzy · 12/04/2026 13:01

eerrrr calling a child, particularly an autistic one, a ‘racist idiot’ is not right.

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Yes it is 👍

Greenwitchart · 12/04/2026 13:10

OP he is 14 and you are the parent...so you need to cut his access to the Internet & social media as much as possible and check who he has been hanging out with in person.

You also need to speak to someone at his school and can seek help from charities that support young people.

Radicalisation is really insidious and can't just be addressed by a softly softly approach and debating...

Also try to divert his attention to a sport or hobby so he spends less time wanting to access social media.

CharityShopMensGlasses · 12/04/2026 13:12

mindutopia · 12/04/2026 12:14

Where the hell is he accessing this stuff for a start? I have a 13 year old and she has no access to social media and only very limited access to YouTube. She can ask to use it to watch specific things, we unlock it for the duration, check what content she has viewed, lock it again after. That will not change until she’s 16. There is no unfettered access to this sort of stuff, so his phone needs to be better managed for a start.

Beyond that, I think you need to get him out of his room, off his phone and in contact with some proper male role models.

I’d also consider being in touch with Prevent and asking for some advice. They do a lot of work with far right radicalisation and can hopefully connect you with some resources.

Edited

This. This is why my autistic child doesnt have a smart phone. Social media leaves vulnerable teens at huge risk of radicalisation or exploitation. There might be a youth organisation near you that can help or early help usually have specialist neurodiversity workers.

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 12/04/2026 13:13

InterestedDad37 · 12/04/2026 12:01

Straight away I'd question the 'highly intelligent' bit. He may be quick-thinking, but intelligence also includes insight and the empathy with others, both of which he clearly lacks.
If his 'black and white thinking' also extends to race, then he is highly ignorant and lacking essential defining aspects of intelligence.

You can't dismiss someone who has different views to yours as, by definition, not intelligent.

I think we keep going there, just writing people off as stupid and thick, rather than taking on board their ideas/concerns and trying to highlight errors of fact or illogical leaps. Who knows, perhaps the truly intelligent see things we don't and therefore come to different conclusions.

With this boy i would be questioning what the motivations are for his thinking - is he uncomfortable around different races or does he think societal cohesion is threatened by them. Those are very different things

StiffAsAVicar · 12/04/2026 13:13

TheCatCushions · 12/04/2026 11:46

DS (14) is extremely bright, highly intelligent and adhd/autistic. He has recently been coming out with troubling views about wanting the UK to be all white again like in the 1950s, he talks about immigration and closing our borders and stopping the boats etc and doodles pictures of Hitler with worrying slogans. He has admitted to saying certain things deliberately to shock but he genuinely believes that the UK should be all white and compares us to say, Zimbabwe remaining all black.

He has not been brought up to think like this and I am concerned that he is going down a rabbit hole online. I teach him the benefits of other cultures and how the UK has evolved, what it means to be British has changed over time and that we are now multicultural. Although he is highly intelligent, he is also very black and white in his thinking.

He also believes that we should go back to the 1940s where it comes to gender roles and women need to stay at home and men be the providers. He also talks about feminism meaning women that hate men. I try my best to gently correct these views and question why he believes this.

Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? Thank you.

Respectfully I do not think he is “highly intelligent” if his views are being formed by social media brain rot nonsense. That’s the opposite of intelligence.

InterestedDad37 · 12/04/2026 13:15

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 12/04/2026 13:13

You can't dismiss someone who has different views to yours as, by definition, not intelligent.

I think we keep going there, just writing people off as stupid and thick, rather than taking on board their ideas/concerns and trying to highlight errors of fact or illogical leaps. Who knows, perhaps the truly intelligent see things we don't and therefore come to different conclusions.

With this boy i would be questioning what the motivations are for his thinking - is he uncomfortable around different races or does he think societal cohesion is threatened by them. Those are very different things

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You're not wrong, I'm just refusing to accept that he fulfils all the criteria for being 'intelligent'. He might have some of them, but he's not displaying intelligence, imho.

Thecows · 12/04/2026 13:15

CharSiu · 12/04/2026 12:24

The rise of the right is a knee jerk reaction to immigration, it was pretty obvious this was going to happen way back when Blair didn’t put a number on Eastern European arrivals. I write this as the daughter of not white immigrants I sadly don’t know the answer and I can't hide my face.

But some teens do deliberately push against whatever their parents views are. Plus as you are I’m guessing a liberal minded sort then your kindness and tolerance has sort of worked against you. Western liberalism is part of the reason for the rise of the right all over Europe, people by and large never contemplate unintended consequences. Especially liberals and the left.

My children were raised with hardcore Asian parenting mixed with DH liberal attitudes. That in itself caused some issues between DH and I. Do not be messing with my culture because that’s what multiculturalism brings you. The lovely food but also the other bits that are bad in western eyes but you are all too nice to say anything because you worry you will be seen as racist.

The INCEL stuff has been coming for years as well. Women just do not need men like they used to and that’s great but it marginalising young men who know deep down they are not actually that great a catch. I do not blame feminism for this I celebrate it but it’s an unintended consequence again. Look to your older male relatives I bet loads of them wouldn’t do so well these days. No one would have married my FIL in this day and age as he was obnoxious and I have no idea how he managed to have such a great son, my DH. I am the last generation that was raised to feel you should marry.

Huge and rapid societal shifts in a small space of time it’s always going to marginalise some, dangerous times. You can try your natural soft approach or go super hardcore and remove stuff. I removed my DS gaming console because he refused to regulate the hours when he was a similar age. He hated me for that period and told me. Just prepare for yourself to be hated briefly. Embrace it and know you are doing the right thing.

Brilliant post

Sartre · 12/04/2026 13:16

MoonstoneAura · 12/04/2026 12:42

Britain was not all white in the 1950s. He has swallowed a load of false, hateful propaganda and has been radicalised online. This is way beyond 'gentle questioning' - hardcore racism and misogyny is not a valid viewpoint worthy of respect that you can debate with. It's an extremist and dangerous mindset. The school will have information on PREVENT but I think they're quite overwhelmed - still definitely worth trying. This is a situation whereby he needs to be taken off the internet altogether and educated in how to question information rather than swallowing it wholesale. He needs to be able to evaluate and think critically about sources, manipulation and presentation of information. These are difficult skills for teenagers to master and he may be more vulnerable because of his autism. But you won't get anywhere while he still has access to this persuasive, poisonous material. He needs to come offline.

This is true but it was 99% white. I’m just saying because you need to find the actual holes in his arguments but that one is mostly accurate.

Original poster

TheCatCushions · 12/04/2026 13:19

Greenwitchart · 12/04/2026 13:10

OP he is 14 and you are the parent...so you need to cut his access to the Internet & social media as much as possible and check who he has been hanging out with in person.

You also need to speak to someone at his school and can seek help from charities that support young people.

Radicalisation is really insidious and can't just be addressed by a softly softly approach and debating...

Also try to divert his attention to a sport or hobby so he spends less time wanting to access social media.

I am also concerned about the views of some of his friends in school, he mentioned the other day how his friend wanted to have 10 children, I said wow! That’s a lot of children! He said his friend wanted to have that many to up the percentage of white people. It’s very worrying and not as simple as taking away his own devices as he has access to his friends phones when in their houses and at school. I will be speaking to his school though for advice.

OP posts:

Ilovelurchers · 12/04/2026 13:22

I came on to suggest PREVENT - I am no expert, but have done their training for DSLs and my instinct is that they would stage an intervention at this point and provide him with a specialised counsellor/mentor? As it sounds to me that his views are extreme enough to indicate potential for radicalisation.

And they should be able to offer advice too as to what you can do as a parent.

So sorry this is happening - it sounds utterly horrendous! Well done for speaking out about it on here - that's a really positive first step.

JustSawJohnny · 12/04/2026 13:22

I'd take this very seriously and report to the school. They will contact the agency that looks out for kids being groomed into extremist thinking online.

It is rife at the moment and ND kids are particularly at risk of grooming.

A boy with ASD who went to my son's all boys school was jailed for having and sharing bomb making instructions. He had been groomed online by extremist racists.

Don't ignore it.

Hopefully the school will be able to put DS in touch with people who are experienced in challenging this kind of pernicious grooming of vulnerable children.

Meadowfinch · 12/04/2026 13:24

Remove his Internet access except when he is supervised at home, take away his phone and flag to the school that he is developing some unacceptable views.
They will tighten up on his Internet access too, and may include him in discussion groups designed to counter this rubbish.

Ilovelurchers · 12/04/2026 13:25

TheCatCushions · 12/04/2026 13:19

I am also concerned about the views of some of his friends in school, he mentioned the other day how his friend wanted to have 10 children, I said wow! That’s a lot of children! He said his friend wanted to have that many to up the percentage of white people. It’s very worrying and not as simple as taking away his own devices as he has access to his friends phones when in their houses and at school. I will be speaking to his school though for advice.

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Definitely speak to school, as you have reason to suspect this is prevalent among other students. Hopefully the school will contact PREVENT and get advice as to how to address these views, if they are becoming common among the student body.

I would go direct to the DSL if you can, just in case whoever you speak to doesn't take it seriously enough if it's a form tutor or whatever (though they should all have had the training).

REDB99 · 12/04/2026 13:25

I’d recommended a Prevent referral, if his school get involved this is what they will do.

DrEmilyCrabtree · 12/04/2026 13:26

Dappy777 · 12/04/2026 13:03

What it means to be British has “changed over time” because we’ve had mass immigration and multiculturalism IMPOSED on us. No one asked for this profound change and no one voted for it. And then the Left have got the nerve to call Farage a fascist!! They’re the fascists. They’re the ones who have imposed a new identity on people - often against their wishes.

Unfortunately, your son has been captured by extremists. There is a hell of a difference between wanting tighter borders and supporting Hitler!! And wanting to preserve a sense of identity does not mean ‘racial purity’. Instead of dictating what he should think, why not point out those differences?

Thanks to mass immigration, I no longer live in a country with a shared history or shared culture or shared identity. I don’t know who I am anymore. In fact, my national identity has been taken away from me. But, though I hate the people responsible for this, I also despise those who promote genocidal maniacs like Hitler.

You do realise that the term Fascist originated in the political sense with Mussolini in post ww1 Italy? His was a far right party ergo fascist is used/should be used to describe the right wing. It is not a synonym simply for extremism - or for whatever a person doesn't feel aligns with them.
Reasons for immigration vary. Maybe consider looking into the Windrush generation and the reasons for that.
Also maybe think about what a 'national identity' is, and how you feel this has been "taken" from you.

OP i echo those saying they would talk to school re Prevent

MoonstoneAura · 12/04/2026 13:26

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 12/04/2026 13:13

You can't dismiss someone who has different views to yours as, by definition, not intelligent.

I think we keep going there, just writing people off as stupid and thick, rather than taking on board their ideas/concerns and trying to highlight errors of fact or illogical leaps. Who knows, perhaps the truly intelligent see things we don't and therefore come to different conclusions.

With this boy i would be questioning what the motivations are for his thinking - is he uncomfortable around different races or does he think societal cohesion is threatened by them. Those are very different things

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Who knows, perhaps the truly intelligent see things we don't and therefore come to different conclusions.

Like, in this boy's case, that Hitler was right? It doesn't seem like a signifier of 'true intelligence' to me.

Also, presumably someone who believes people who are not white pose a threat to social cohesion is also not comfortable around those people - if you consider their existence to be a societal danger, how comfortable can you be around them? This feels like another way of saying 'I'm not racist but...'

Owmyelbow · 12/04/2026 13:26

As a teacher I say, please make his school aware of this. He may be being exposed to extremist content and the school can work with him

MyFAFOera · 12/04/2026 13:27

Chocaholick · 12/04/2026 12:06

Well this is what comes of allowing underage minors unfettered internet access, unfortunately. Whether or not you can now row back is up for debate, Pandora’s box has been opened.

I would strongly encourage parents to only buy dumb phones and have a family computer in a communal area.

This you need to heavily restrict Internet access, now. No YouTube no insta no tiktok, no discord or reddit, no access to any sort of short form /reel type content.

Tbh I'd just restrict access to Internet from any handheld device at this point and say any Internet access will need to be from a laptop or desktop computer that's in a shared family space so that you can be nearby and checking on what he's viewing/digesting.

MoonstoneAura · 12/04/2026 13:29

TheCatCushions · 12/04/2026 13:19

I am also concerned about the views of some of his friends in school, he mentioned the other day how his friend wanted to have 10 children, I said wow! That’s a lot of children! He said his friend wanted to have that many to up the percentage of white people. It’s very worrying and not as simple as taking away his own devices as he has access to his friends phones when in their houses and at school. I will be speaking to his school though for advice.

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He won't be able to access racist and sexist propaganda on school wifi (and if he tries, it will be flagged!). Yes, his friends can show him stuff but it will still make a difference that he can't access it except when with them so still very important to remove his devices.

Original poster

TheCatCushions · 12/04/2026 13:30

Ilovelurchers · 12/04/2026 13:25

Definitely speak to school, as you have reason to suspect this is prevalent among other students. Hopefully the school will contact PREVENT and get advice as to how to address these views, if they are becoming common among the student body.

I would go direct to the DSL if you can, just in case whoever you speak to doesn't take it seriously enough if it's a form tutor or whatever (though they should all have had the training).

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Sorry, what do you mean by DSL?

OP posts:

barkygoldie · 12/04/2026 13:33

I feel like all the prevent chat could be a bit over intense - op you know your child and how worrying this actually is. Ie on one hand, he is supporting Hitler and this could have a disastrous trajectory.

On the other - kids this age are impressionable and come out with daft but firmly held ideas that they grow out of. A female relative of mine was anti feminist at 15 and saw it as man hate and a barrier to her being treated nicely. Fast forward six years and she’s an ardent feminist writing theses about misogyny.

That said, your concerns about the algorithms are very valid and I would be seeking to limit access. I’d also look at showing him content that helps him think about the impact of what he is saying - yes there is a discussion to be had about immigration but has he thought about the rise of racism in our country and what that is like to be on the receiving end of? Etc.

saraclara · 12/04/2026 13:35

TheCatCushions · 12/04/2026 13:30

Sorry, what do you mean by DSL?

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Designated Safeguarding Lead. The senior member of staff responsible for safeguarding, and with the ability and responsibility to refer pupils to other agencies.

The name and contact details for the DSL are required to be on the school's website.

cestlavielife · 12/04/2026 13:36

He needsto.learn to.think.more critically
He can loomat 4wspurceson british jhstory end of empire etc
He cam ask.himself questions whether uk can create an empire of multicultural cpuntries mutli race then expecr to remain "white"
Take himto.tilbury orother places with immigration exhibitons think about why peopel came (clue they were invited to probide workforce)

Source: YouTube

Brettstale · 12/04/2026 13:37

Minus the hitler stuff, I often thought similar things as him when I was 14, such as why anyone can be born here and call themselves English/british/Scottish etc but if I was born in china and said I was Chinese I’d get rightfully laughed at.
You can’t deny he has a point (minus the extreme/hitler) stuff, arguing with him that we should continue to allow mass immigration is going to fall on deaf ears he’s old enough to see with his own eyes your wrong.