To expect him to get up?

[Selfishman]

Staying at my DP's dad's house, which was his choice. When here our DS sleeps with me. DP is supposed to be getting up with DS this morning. I'm up before everyone else every week day, I took our DS to visit my family for 4 days over last weekend, so DP had a break. Today was his turn to get up, however we are always on eggshells, he doesn't like our DS to wake before 9/10 which to me is ridiculous because he's 6.

He woke up at 7.40, so a reasonable time. As he's sleeping next to me, I've been awake since then. I waited until 8 and told DS he could go to his dad's room- so already it's not a lie in. He stood there anxious and starting to cry that daddy would be angry. He never cries. I said we will pop down together and if daddy says anything then he can stay with me. We get down there and he's locked him bedroom door so his son can't come to him in the morning (as planned). I'm fuming. I text him and he read my messages 20 mins ago and still hasn't come in to get him.
He'll be tired as he was drinking yesterday and on Xbox late.

Bloke here

sounds a dickhead. I don’t think 7.40 is a reasonable time to wake actually for a 6 year old…. I think it’s too late if anything

expecting a 6 year old to get up at 9/10 is ridiculous

Just read your update that you are scared of him.

Whose home do you live in?

If it’s just your name on the tenancy, then I would apologise to your DP and tell him that you’ll take DS out for the day to give him a break.

Then I’d go back home and get the locks changed and text him to stay at his dad’s because the relationship is over.

He knew exactly what he was doing when he locked that door

Why are you staying with a man you are afraid of? A man your son is afraid of?
Not that it matters, but what does "d" p's dad think of this behaviour? I can't imagine staying with family then staying up drinking and gaming. Is DP's dad like his son?
It's time to plan your escape, OP. This will only get worse.

This is the perfect time to leave whilst you are all staying at his dads.
In any other situation you’d have to get him out of the house, which is very difficult.

I would go back home and tell him it’s over.

This is an awful environment to bring a child up in.
Your poor son 🥲

I would also ring women’s aid too.

Pack your bags get your son and go back to your family.

The fact your both scared is grounds for this to end.

Have you support @Selfishman to get away from this awful man ?
My heart goes out to you and your wee boy.

I cant answer your AIBU because you are not being unreasonable to expect your childs father not to be an abusive animal, but you are being unreasonable because you know he is and you are still inflciting him on your son.

Why cant you leave this piece of shit?

This has all sorts of red flags all over it. Sorry, OP!

Another kid with a dickhead deadbeat dad. Great.

You don’t need to spend your lives treading on eggshells around this loser op. You deserve better.

Are you planning to leave this angry man? If not, why not…

I can't just leave and change the locks. We jointly rent and I can't afford to rent there alone.

I just feel sick, I'm sat here having palpitations. The truth is, I physically jump every time he walks into a room. I know the hostility waiting for me when I get up and I'm just so mentally destroyed.

Get rid of this awful man!
your poor little boy that’s terrible.

You can't afford to stay with this man. Please know that this is NOT normal, and you deserve much better, and your child certainly does. Others will have practical suggestions - this is where MN shines. I hope you can find the courage to leave this man. You will be immensely better off for it.

You must call womens aid or similar asap. Don't worry about rent, your safety and that of your son are of the utmost importance.

Or could you go to the family you recently visited, would they help and understand?

When you say you are ‘staying at your DP’s dad’s house which is his choice’ who do you mean? Who is ‘his’ in this case?

Your partner has chosen for you all to stay there? The partner’s dad has chosen for you to stay there? Are you there for the weekend or are you living there? If you’re living there, why? Where do YOU choose to live? I would be working as many hours as I could and living separately from your ‘partner’ because your child sounds frightened of him.

This man will destroy you, @Selfishman - and cause lasting damage to your son.

Contact Women’s Aid for help to leave him.
Contact Shelter for help with accommodation.
Contact CAB for help with Universal Credit.
Contact Gingerbread for help with succeeding as a single parent.

Do everything in your power to free yourself from this abusive man.

Well you need to get your ducks in a row as they say and figure out a way to leave. Find out what benefits you are entitled to, find a smaller place, make it work. Apply for maintenance but don’t rely on it as he will try not to pay.

If it’s affecting you so badly then your son is really suffering here. You need to find a way to get safely away from this man.

This but do it from your families home don't wait pack a bag and take your son today

So he is an abusive bastard to you and your DS.

You need out. Go to a friend's, go to family. Go to a refuge. But get out now.

You can't afford to stay.

You are scared. DS is scared. Your DP is a bully.

Get some advice and work out how to get this man out of your life.

Do you work?

you are 'scared' of him, by your own words. Red flag, and something that you need to listen to, and act on. that is not healthy, and not good for you or your son.