To ask your opinion re holiday dilemma?

[toholidayorno]

I’ve been invited to go on holiday to go to something specific that I’d love. The holiday is abroad in a close European country. I love the idea of it and dh wants me to go as he knows I’d love it. But I have a baby that I’ve only been more than an hour away from once. I don’t cosleep but apart from that I’m always with her, do 95% of their daily care etc. I am really worried that she’d struggle with me all of a sudden not being there. Dh is a very capable and competent parent and can look after her brilliantly, I just always want to do it. I don’t know how I’d be being away from her that long and I’m more worried about how she’d be with me being gone. I’d FaceTime but I’d be gone 4-5 nights. Dh is saying go, enjoy, relax etc but I’d miss her so much and I’d be worried she’d miss me too. She will be 15 months at the time, it’s not until later this year. What would you do?

Do you want to go? It could really do all of you good, but agree with PP that you and DD need to get used to it first, and if you are going to be absent for 4 nights you need to start giving DP more responsibility now, as well as having a night away in the interim.

How old is she now? Do you have time to build up to being away from you.
Are you planning to go back to work, baby will have to be looked after by others if that is the case.
I'm on the fence with this one. It is really good for you to continue with your own hobbies and to do things for your own pleasure but 4/5 days is a long time. I was itching to get back to my then aged 7 and 11 year olds when I did a similar time away.
The baby will be fine by the way, I actually find face timing or calling too much unsettles them so something to consider. It's you and whether you'll enjoy it. You should not feel guilt or like a bad parent though.

I appreciate everyone is different and at the end of the day there’s no point going if you’re not going to enjoy it and be constantly worrying. But in my eyes 15 months is not a baby! Your DH sounds great and more than capable and as others have said it’s a great opportunity for their relationship to grow and for your child to get used to not always being with you! Have a couple of practice runs and then go and enjoy some me time!

I wouldn't, personally, but everyone is different! Can you do one night away between now and then and see how she goes? She'll probably be absolutely fine and that might make it easier when you get round to going away for 5 days.

I think you should go, but whether you go or not, I think you should intentionally build her up to be able to cope without you for short periods anyway if you possibly can. I was hospitalised when my oldest was a similar age and I was so relieved he was already ok to be left with grandparents and my husband, it lessened the trauma for him.

Don’t go if u feel that bad about leaving u will put a dampener or the other folk on the trip.

Absolutely, it’s very weird.

I find a lot of these posts astonishing. When DS was a baby and toddler DH regularly took him to visit my iLs who were a short flight away. Sometimes he took him alone for 2-3 nights, sometimes I went for 2 nights and ds and dh stayed a other couple of nights while I flew home early, usually as i had to get back to work. We did this 1-2 times a year from when ds was 11 months old for many years until last IL died when ds was 14yrs old

I also took ds abroad to visit my family, though less often but for longer as it was further. The first time I went for a week when ds was 15 months and because DH had a poorly timed work trip, he ended up not seeing DS for 10 days. Afterwards. He made me promise that he would never have to be apart from ds as long again as he missed him so much, which was
understandable after 10 days! So both of us missed him. We were both fine with 2-3 days though. 4-5 nights were mine and DHs limit though

Go!