The tradwife movement

[Chocaholick]

AIBU to find the ‘tradwife’ movement absolutely horrific?

Essentially it’s a small core of women with deep internalised misogyny, who are making £££ by pretending they don’t work and indoctrinating young women to be ‘submissive’ to men and wait on them hand and foot, while feeding the manosphere and emboldening its members. It uses Christianity to brainwash followers into believing it’s God’s will for husbands to basically treat their wives like servants and ‘lead them’, and imposes a very long list of ‘duties’ on women while all that is expected of men is to work a job (like they wouldn’t be if they were single!).

It seems to be really catching on, even here in the UK.

I think men were generally happier then too.

Yeah doped up to the gills on Valium, barbiturates and speed.

If you as an individual want to submit to a man, have no access to your own money, have no say over when you have sex or how many children you have then have at it, no feminist has written a law or a religion that forces you into paid work and on birth control. But don’t come for the rest of us telling us that it’s so unfair we have options or choices billions of women never had and still don’t have.

I love having my own money, having control over my life and my family size, having the options to be in a marriage or leave it depending on how I feel. I can’t believe women would throw that away because some bullshit influencer on instagram romanticises making your own yogurt whist baby wearing.

With fundamentalist Christianity.

So well put. It isn’t even about the yoghurt etc - you can do all that while still retaining your right to vote/use contraception/make your own decisions. I’m a bit of a hippy mum type who makes everything from scratch, likes wearing summer dresses and used a sling until my kids were too big for it, but I don’t see these random small lifestyle choices as needing to be connected to a mindset of misogyny and submission.

Of course they were because they were king of the castle, many of them were legally entitled to take out their hideous tempers on their wives and kids and they spent very little time doing anything that resembled care or service to others.

And they won't, of course. A small number of women may find a man who has the wherewithal and the desire to keep them (often requiring they sacrifice a same age partner for a much older man) but the vast majority will be prevented by economic constraints from living this particular dream. The option of a single income household is increasingly out of reach for the majority of people. It's a shame for both sexes that this is being glossed over as it can only lead to disappointment in women led to false expectations, and resentment and stress for men who will be deemed failures if they don't earn enough.

People are missing the point when they think it is solely about women's engagement in paid work. It isn't.
'Trad wives' are part if a wider movement that centres men and believes that women should submit to men's leadership. Men and women who follow this movement advocate for reduced reproductive rights and freedoms and reduced rights for women at work. The rights and freedoms that feminists fought for they want to dismantle. Indivduals may not believe it and may simply be presenting a social media image for money. However, there are plenty in the movement who do be believe it and are serious in pushing the agenda.
It isn't benign. Reform have pledged to reppeal the equality act. Rights and freedoms can be lost.

If l wanted this kind of life l would just join the Amish- at least they have a track record for it.

What has feminism ever done for me?
Fought for:
The right to vote
Access to contraception
The ability to have a mortgage and bank account in your own name
The right to return to your job after having a child
The recognition of marital rape

I think when women say feminism has made their lives worse they are really forgetting how restricted women's lives used to be.

i unintentionally became a tradwife due to getting pregnant at 15, I’m not that old so most of my generation have degrees, phds etc. which I cannot compete with. I will probably never have a good job and am pretty screwed if my marriage breaks down. Saying that my husband is a good man and I like my life.

Seeing the sort of man who wants a “tradwife” online is an obvious extreme c*nt (they typically also believe in very talibanesque things) I really feel for any girl falling for them

I think part of them expects that they would keep the things they like (driving, being able to earn money via their online platforms, the luxury of spending on cute clothes and home interiors, make up/fake tan, having little meet ups with the other ‘wives’) when actually over time these would be whittled away as well.

Wholeheartedly agree- l feel it is spitting in the faces of those who campaigned suffered and even died to get us the vote, if l don't drag myself to the polling station- even if there seems no good option, mine is the safest seat in the country, but l still vote.
l would rarify a little access to free contraception- no one needs to get pregnant because they can't afford contraception.
Financial control is very important, but heiresses did have bank accounts, again it's the universal right to them that is key.
The right to return to your job is quite a new one, and there can still be problems.
Rape in marriage was only established as possible in the 1990's. l have been with my partner since 1979, this one is a big part of the reason we did not marry.
One of my favourite facts in this line is an older friend of mine whose family was rich her grand mother when out to meet a friend in 1908 against the express wishes of her husband, she left her 7 week old baby with the nanny.
When she got back the butler barred the door would not let her in- she had to leave when a constable was called- she had been divorced by her husband a couple of months later and she never saw her child again.
Her family would not have her back, she was destitute with just her purse and the clothes she stood up in- for going to have tea with a female childhood friend she lost everything-home husband ,child means of support, her whole life gone.
Think about that- that is what you get when the men are in charge and the law backs them up- because they make that too.

Women who support that cult are either cynics who are paid to spread this shite, hopelessly naive, or intellectually challenged.

A consensual relationship. Just because you don’t understand it doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

I have no problem with a woman wanting to stay home and raise kids etc while her partner works. It's a bit worrying sometimes if she has no access to money though....
What really gets my goat is the idea of being 'submissive' to a man, whatever that means and being 'led' by one. I don't think I've ever met a man with the gumption for that.

It starts off subtle, but many lifestyle influencers have as much political clout as overtly political influencers

https://www.instagram.com/reel/DSjNFsDDX3w/?igsh=Y2dqNnB5MDM2ZHFn

If any man wants a tradwife he's a bad man, end of story.
We've got too many bad men in this world already.
Be a sahm- fine.
Submit to a man and let him make all your choices?
That is NOT OK.

I think I would make a difference between circumstances (your case) and making the most of it however you can (and who knows perhaps there will be opportunities for you to achieve things outside the home at some point) and someone who is ideologically wedded to this lifestyle whilst also shoving it down other people's throats. I have understanding for you but not for them.