The tradwife movement

[Chocaholick]

AIBU to find the ‘tradwife’ movement absolutely horrific?

Essentially it’s a small core of women with deep internalised misogyny, who are making £££ by pretending they don’t work and indoctrinating young women to be ‘submissive’ to men and wait on them hand and foot, while feeding the manosphere and emboldening its members. It uses Christianity to brainwash followers into believing it’s God’s will for husbands to basically treat their wives like servants and ‘lead them’, and imposes a very long list of ‘duties’ on women while all that is expected of men is to work a job (like they wouldn’t be if they were single!).

It seems to be really catching on, even here in the UK.

YANBU

funnily enough just donated my gingham dress because I looked too tradwife. Someone asked me if I was one and it horrified me.

As a Christian, their misuse and manipulation of the Bible is very frustrating. I've read that book, cover to cover several times and I can't think of one example where women are told not to work. But I do know that:

Deborah was a Judge and prophetess of Israel

Abigail saved the lives of everyone on her estate when she overruled her husband's decision to not supply David's army with food.

Proverbs 31 describes a wife of noble character who buys land and manages finances and staff

Priscilla was a tent maker and ran a church alongside her husband

Submission is a huge theme in the Bible but the primary idea is that everyone should submit to God first, and then should serve one another in love. And if you have any power or authority over people then you are accountable to God for them and so should see yourself as there to serve and sacrifice for them - you know, like Jesus did. I don't see any of that approach in the tradwives media.

Wouldn't mind it if it didn't present as 'this is the Christian way'

They weren't especially happy for sure. I lived with one.

I’m not sure why we get hung up on the 1950s as the ‘baseline’ as to what humanity does or should do.

Women not working is a relatively modern phenomenon. In 1700, over half of women were employed. Historically women have been more likely than men to be entrepreneurs.

The gingham milkmaid dress is the new scarlet cloak and white bonnet in my opinion

Mine wasn't milkmaid style. Thankfully. Still, it had to go.

Made me shudder

I was responding to a previous post.
But, in the uk it was the period when women were more likely than ever before to live in a house as a nuclear family due to the advent of council housing (uk history of course, and also other social change - welfare state etc.). It was also a period that saw a dismantlement of the old service heirarchy, ie housemaids and servants based on structures of privilege.

Don’t have statistics to hand mind you

It would be interesting to read them as I have always been taught the opposite.

“But in postwar Britain, the proportion of married women in regular paid work grew dramatically: from around one in five in 1951 to nearly half two decades later.”

“Table 109 in this publication shows that the activity rate for all females in 1931 and 1951 were 34.2% and 34.7% respectively”

Yes, having lost family members in bombings and in active service abroad. Those who returned may have been POWs and changed beyond recognition.

The NHS was only in it's infancy so any mothers in the 50s likely were pregnant and gave birth without adequate healthcare. No real access to contraception. Infertility was left unexplored and unexplained. Miscarriages were not mourned Or even discussed. You died of ectopic pregnancy, blood loss and infection. Your children could die of childhood diseases easily prevented through vaccination or treated with antibiotics these days.

From my own family I can name the women only 2 generations back who died of things we would now nip to the pharmacy for, who lost brothers and husbands to war or who had male relatives brought back without limbs and in severe psychiatric distress from POW camps. Who had stillbirths and were not even allowed to see or hold the baby. Who lost infants and were expected to move on and get pregnant again quickly.

Women couldn't have bank accounts or mortgages, couldn't work once married, the law permitted marital rape.

There is no way of knowing of the happiness or otherwise of women in the 1950s because they were not even seen as worth asking nor the results worth recording. But I would bet (and know from conversations with my older female relatives) that they weren't all having a great time at all.

That’s women don’t have alcoholic/gambling or abusive etc husbands. The financial capacity to leave such a man should never be ignored but it always is by these women.

I’d add to this debate this horrible trend of women who say “I’m not a feminist….” Followed by some statement of something they do or like that they can only fucking do because of feminism. Or they are sat in their car they can o ly drive because of feminism. Reading and writing they can only do because of feminism. Or stating some life skill they enjoy like cooking can only be enjoyable to the non-feminist woman.

I think it’s very telling that ‘trad men’ accounts urging men to wake at 5am to graft all day, build their houses with their bare hands and chop firewood don’t exist. Just some intangible mumbling about ‘being natural leaders’ and ‘working so hard’ in their 8 hour office jobs.

I also thought amphetamines & other “little mothers helpers” were fairly common

The men buy into the crypto bro who has millions in the bank, a wife & multiple girlfriends 🙄

I don’t know why my post was hidden?

It seems to go hand in hand with Chritianity .

@Chocaholick I was replying to you about what style accounts men buy into but must have used a trigger word 🤷🏻‍♀️

I find it so bizarre when people trot her out as an example of Tradwives...she's very clearly a businesswoman and has a wealthy husband and family. The only "trad" stuff she does is have a load of kids and make all her own food. She very openly has a huge team of assistants and staff. There's literally nothing submissive about her life...she just has enough money to be able to potter about making bread in between her multi million pound business and attending events.

Being used as a breeder constantly? What would you call it?

Fantastic book, I highly recommend.

If you read her accounts, she has no actual help. She spends weeks in bed recovering. He owns an airline and got her an apron for her birthday when she asked for a holiday. She was going to be a dancer and he trapped her

she definitely sells herself as a trad wife

Yes can’t find where I got that figure so can’t back it up. Have found one set that suggests 49.5% of working age women in employment in 1955 so less than I’d thought but also figures that correlate with your numbers more closely. I do believe that the numbers are underestimated due to casual and informal labour conditions

It’s loathsome - the New York Times ran a piece this week about a small but growing movement in favour of reversing women’s suffrage because they think the Bible says… well I don’t know but it’s all tied up in that men are the head of the household belief.

Surely this is just a social media thing rather than a real life thing.

I guess a lot of those women were working pre marriage and children and then had to stop too.

Women were under pressure to give up jobs they had competently held during the war when men returned and wanted them. They were never paid the same as male counterparts for equal roles and had no real employment protections or maternity rights.

There was no real childcare, no wrap around at school, no fast food, no microwaves. My grandmother had a cold slab in the larder as she had no fridge and so needed to shop most days as nothing kept long. Housework was much more 'essential' and much more time consuming.